|Reviews for RaEl Book1: A Long Forgotten Legacy|
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/10/2014
This is incredibly bad for all the reasons other reviews have mentioned. Too bad, it was an interesting idea.
| Ophidias chapter 1 . 10/1/2013
You lost me at 'I do not wish to go mother' from a five year old. Have you ever spoken to a five year old?
| Tomtakahic chapter 26 . 9/8/2013
Cool story I'm looking forwards to the sequel
| shugokage chapter 26 . 3/4/2013
Amazing story good job!
| The Third Biker Scholar chapter 18 . 2/23/2013
oh my! can't wait to read more!
| Chargone chapter 6 . 7/14/2012
... so, all those in-line author's notes? they Really detract from the fic. they break immersion, at minimum. the 'you had me at ni hao' line? references like that are funny if the reader gets them and Just Look Like Good Writing if they don't... when you then go and Explain it you ruin the humour of the reference (explaining the punchline of a joke) And kill whatever vibe you were going for with the line in the first place. (marking it and putting a corresponding note at the end of the chapter doesn't have this effect.)
also, any time you skip actually describing something and instead say 'looks like (person/thing/whatever) from a Different Setting, you're ones again breaking immersion, as well as showing either a lack of ability or laziness in your writing. further, if the reader is unfamiliar with the setting or character or object you're referring to, they either have to deliberately Ignore your 'description' and fabricate something themselves, or stop reading (further destroying immersion and increasing the odds they won't come back and keep reading) to go look it up. neither are conducive to enjoying your fic.
if you must include all those notes, it is best to mark them with a number or something in the story, and then put the corresponding notes at the end of the chapter. that said, many of these notes should be stripped out entirely as they do Nothing to help the story or amuse the reader or anything of that nature. the one commenting on (whatever her name is, amazon girl.) being comfortable with Nudity? that Could have been written into the story and worked, but it was unneeded, as her behaviour made it blatantly obvious. worse still is that your inline author's note on the subject referenced Another instance of (i believe also in an author's note) referring us to a different setting for a visual image rather than describing the thing in question, meaning most people had No Idea what you were talking about (believe it or not, but many people are NOT familiar with chun li, who is probably the least obscure character in street fighter, which is another thing many people are not familiar with, certainly not if they, like me, are reading your fic substantial amounts of time later. and that was probably the least obscure reference in the whole thing.)
as for the bit about Ranko, again, no business being in the middle of the story. Huge immersion breaker. I'm not really sure how you justify Ranma Not picking up the curse, from a 'how the cursed springs work' stand point, but from a 'the story works better without it' stand point it's fine. Far more useful would be an actual story section explaining how/why he Didn't get cursed. (never mind that Ranma without the curse is barely Ranma, character wise. though it makes more sense than Locked Ranma being perfectly fine with things, or always being a girl in the first place.)
I assume (hope) you've improved (or possibly stopped writing, that's fairly common) in the last four years, and intend to look in your profile to find out, but so far as this fic is concerned, i'm done.
| Ranmaleopard chapter 1 . 4/3/2012
this is really awesome and amazing i cant wait to see what happens next and i would love to see more like this please continue!
| Ranmayamabushi chapter 26 . 11/5/2010
Sweet story I hope you continue it !
| Lord Sia chapter 26 . 1/25/2010
Oh man, you really need a "Fantastic File O' Fun Fic Fragments" (say that quickly ten times in a row). Great fic, could use some more filling, but I like the way you portrait most characters, some depth rather than the pure 2d. Genma needs some form of motivation; why does he do what he does? If he really just run on primal needs, why?
Great work anyway, good to see it finished.
| wolf1313 chapter 1 . 7/4/2009
i like your work on this story and have to say keep up the good work
| darkwolf chapter 21 . 6/20/2009
hello grate story i like superman and ramna all i have to say keep up the good work and for the ppl that say any thing bad about it they just like to bitch you are doing grate work
| Kidan Yoshilda chapter 26 . 4/4/2009
I Was wrong I Did read your Stroies. Heh, sorry it took me some long to reveiw. This happens to be a good one but not one of my favs.
It shadows Superman a little to much but...It's Still a good story and I'll be waiting for more. Oh Wait, oops, there is more That I have to read...Heh never mind.
Kidan Signing out!
| Solomon Shekelmanbergstein chapter 20 . 11/6/2008
fighting flames with more flames is always a good strategy
| Firehedgehog chapter 26 . 10/22/2008
heh heh heh
| Cattsith chapter 1 . 10/11/2008
Some grammar issues aside, this was a very nice story. I like how you mix Superman and Ranma. I will look forward to book 2.