|Reviews for Papers|
| lily chapter 4 . 7/26/2006
What a stupid ending.. Jarod being charged?
| Miravisu chapter 4 . 7/25/2006
*nods to NYT's comments*
It feels storywise like a very good skeleton, and with room for so much more, as it's so fast paced!
And I also agree about the putting Jarod in jail thing.. would they really do that? I'd understand if they'd at least for formality's sake and for the seriousness of the SIMs he performed, detain him in jail during interrogationing, trial and so.. As given the DSAs he possessed, showing how he was in fact used and abused, and then also becoming aware of the good things he had used, while in fact from the run from the Centre?
| NYT chapter 4 . 7/25/2006
Interesting concept. You could do a lot more with this story by "fleshing" it out. Describe, in detail, how things went down. Go through the arrests and everyone's emotions when the FBI showed up. You could even explain who the informant was and how he/she gathered information. Just a thought...
Oh, the powers that be would never put Jarod in jail for what he was forced to do as a child. Unlike other people who are brainwashed, he really had no choice and didn't even realize it was wrong until he was older. When he did find out, he left. Now, they may have gotten him for some of the stuff he did once he got out... :)