|Reviews for What Comes Naturally|
| RPMercenary chapter 1 . 3/18/2008
Agreeing with first review. It's obvious that you're reinacting the beginning of the Gamecube game, but it does look like you added detail into it. I did catch several misplaced words, misspelled words, and gramatical errors, but to be honest those are trifles as long as they are kept under reaonable quantity and severity. Also be careful of your verb tenses between past and present; the tense should be uniform for the whole story. ("gets up and changes into his clothes. He dressed casually")
It's funny that you rate it for future updates when there has not been one in over a year and a half, so I think it's safe to assume that this is an abandoned project. That's ok though, because if it was going to follow the game play for play, we would know what is going to happen and it won't be exciting. As far as the romance element goes, I can only guess that would only be in reference to Harry's excessive flirting that spreads throughout the game. To be honest, I don't understand why he never flirts with Marcia, one of the best-looking and definitely the most available female character in the game, but I digress.
And yes, the bold face is not necessary to indicate dialogue. Italics are fine for thoughts, but I'm in agreement with Ezekiel; the bold face gets annoying. Agreeing wth Sethshadow, know the limits of your characters' knowledge at all times. Otherwise they will say things that will confuse the readers or raise questions as to how they knew certain things. If they reveal knowledge that the readers were unaware of, make sure it is explained how they know it.
I apologize for the long review, but I just cannot let myself get away with a concise review that does not fully and accurately reflect what I think.
| Little Jackie Papercut chapter 1 . 1/22/2008
Listen to me, take these words to heart... you do not need bold text to indicate that someone's speaking out loud. All that's going to do is annoy people.
| Blade100 chapter 1 . 3/27/2007
I already know Im going to like this story, update soon! I wonder who the romance part of it is? Hm...
| Kaiser Spartan chapter 1 . 10/13/2006
update please be Zane and Marcia romance
| 118-sethshadow chapter 1 . 7/25/2006
So you're redoing the whole scenario of Custom Robo hm? Well, I'll see how it turns out eventually. Considering this is mostly done already, I don't really have much to say about it since I heard all this stuff already, so I can't really use any words for a proper review; sorry about that. Thanks for your idea for a Robo arrangment, and I did find a misspelled word (and it's goin to be a common one here very soon): BOUNTY! You put down bunty and forgot the "O". And also, watch what you say during the story. In the part where Zane (sounds like the Zane from Power Rangers In Space), you had him ask where Ray 01 is and never mentioned it before then. So just be careful, or readers may not understand what you are talking about if the've never seen Custom Robo. Well, good job, and I'm considering your offer.