|Reviews for Her Reflection|
| Khrysalis chapter 1 . 12/11/2006
I thought this particular Shinto kami might be difficult to write about. The Japanese remind me of Tolkien elves at times in small details. The sun is female. What would Osiris say?
Those irrelevant musing aside, I hope you're proud of this one, Warg. Where to begin? I liked the small things a great. The middle-aged man in western clothing that was jostled in the crowd being an instant, easy target. The odd bulges in Yahiko's clothing. The boy's shame in the same trains of thought that he observes his skill ("This is getting too easy"). The discreet way Yahiko fiddled with the strap of his sandal and put his knee over the wallet. That part, in particular, was worded very pleasingly.
I don't think I've seen anyone write Yahiko better in such a concentrated moment. The kindess of his heart still shining through, unmarked and untainted by what he was having to do to get by. I know Sue had to love it. Justice was done. ;)
| monsoonblues chapter 1 . 10/13/2006
I'm frankly surprised this story of yours has got fewer reviews than the other angstier ones...no surprise there, although I prefer stories about moments that make a fleeting impression but somehow seem to last, such as this one. I love this. I love how you say the sun goddess watches over him, and actually personify her in the end. I like the gentle pace of the story, and I really like how it ends, with Yahiko doing the right thing, and the way he ends up doing it, the way he still debates and inches towards regret about not picking up the money, but still walks away content, "for now":)
I love this...thank you for the wonderful read_
| gure chapter 1 . 8/26/2006
There are too few Yahiko fics out there, and this one is very, very nice. I'm a big fan of sueb262's Sun, and you did such a good job capturing her voice. Also liked how you portrayed Yahiko's pride in the line about the money, "But it’s never mine. “I don’t want it!” He swore under his breath." Good story!
| shara gurl chapter 1 . 8/13/2006
a simple story, beautifully worded. Yahiko is so young and has gone through enough to make him have a hard heat but is still kind that comes out really well in this story. She knows he wont be there for long and so do we.
Another one I love
| anaemicfaeries chapter 1 . 8/11/2006
This is so beautiful. You have really outdone yourself, and we didn't think that was possible, lol. Wonderfully written, in every sense. Everything flows so seamlessly, everything is so wonderfully described we felt as though we were there, watching Yahiko. And as for Yahiko, you really delved beneath the surface and show such depth, such insight...the way you describred his pickpocketing too, that was perfect. We could just see it all happen, and then, the hesitation...the subtle presence of the sun goddess, the effect on Yahiko, the hope for his future...symbolic and beautiful. We love you!
| charmed-sword chapter 1 . 8/2/2006
Oh, wow. This is really an amazing piece of work. The best thing I've read in a long while! But, of course, I'd expect it, coming from you. I just *love* how everything is described! From the sounds of the market place, to Yahiko's clothes, and especially the description of the catfish! And the pacing, the wording, everything is so aurally pleasing I just had to read it aloud.
You really captured pre Kenshingumi Yahiko *so well*. His internal dialogue, his hesitation, his good character winning through...And the sun goddess! The subtle way it came through..and how Yahiko looked up...and how it came through more strongly in the end..and the contrast with the shadows! Man oh man. This is such a strong piece!
I really can't wait to read more from you. :)
| sueb262 chapter 1 . 7/31/2006
This is just perfect! Yahiko is so much more complex than he's often written about, and you've captured that here. He's NOT a "born thief", he's a true samurai and, in spite of his life's early circumstances, that simply can't help but come out given the slightest chance.
Amaterasu's voice is just the right touch, seen only peripherally, subconciously, the "water we swim in": the white light of noon bringing out the color in the chaotic market scene and throwing contrasty shadows, blinding those careless enough to look at it too unguardedly; the "dark nook" and, especially the "little shadow" standing "within the shadows", also "watching, waiting", much like she herself.
I simply adored "the smooth golden plane"-what a fabulous, lush, brilliant flash of a momentary visual!
And her easing her radiance, creating safe shadows for him to melt back into-made me think both of how she "shrouded the blaze of her brilliant midday for a few hours, just this once" in Fear No Evil, and of Yahiko's "melting into the forest and into the night" in Memento Mori, so you managed to reflect two of my favorite moments of my own works in this piece-I'm grinning from ear to ear!
But I think maybe my absolute favorite thing about this are the three lines that introduce it. There's a real power in the first two lines as she mounts the sky, eager to claim the day as her own, and then a real feeling of her being quite pleased with herself as she gains the summit-that's my girl, all right!
You really got her! Thanks!
| omasuoniwabanshi chapter 1 . 7/31/2006
Yahiko's sense that the sun goddess was watching over him and his decision to do the right thing was charmingly rendered.
I liked the visceral details - the sharp fin on the catfish, the chink of the coins, the spray of water, and the stains on Yahiko's yukata - which appealed to all the senses.
Great ending too, bringing out the ups and downs of Yahiko's existence - sometimes in the sun, sometimes in the shadows. I liked it!
| LadyRhiyana chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
Nice. You don't see many Yahiko fics pre-Kenshin. But I think you caught his voice nicely - especially the way he gave the wallet back. (I half expected the Westerner to give him a few coins in thanks)
I can see echoes of Fear No Evil here. I like it.
| lolo popoki chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
Well, you already know my opinion on this... but I'll say it again :D I think you did a great job on this story! I'm honored (yes, I mean that :P ) that you wanted me to look this over for you beforehand :) You took a difficult OC to write for, and it came out wonderfully! And putting it in Yahiko's perspective was a great idea... there's not enough fics out there that really explore his character.
Loved the fic, and I look forward to more of your stories in the future! Take care!
| White Rabbit Tale chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
Oh, I liked this a lot! The focus on Yahiko made this fic really interesting. It helps that few people write about Yahiko before he met the Kenshin-gumi. It's an interesting time period to play with.
The internal dialogue is done in a very convincing, believable way. The fact that Amaterasu is a faint voice in this fanfic works well-because she plays a very intriguing role. I like the "back into the shadows" because it conveys that Yahiko is getting away from the watchful eyes of the sun goddess. But, of course, she knows he will venture into her bright light again.
I enjoyed this fic a lot, and I'm very surprised with what you came out with.
| SiriusFan13 chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
That's a difficult OC to write about, but you did an excellent job. I love how the focus was on Yahiko again, bringing her character, as she should be, outside of the focus of one small portion of time in her eternity.
| musicsage chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
mm, i really like this! it flows very nicely, and i really like the way it ends - the subtle references to the sun work very well, and i love the ending lines. "back into shadows 'for now'" - indicating perhaps that she knows he won't remain a pickpocket for too long? y'know, i should really skim back through Fear No Evil - i don't really remember it that well, since i read it nearly a year ago... anyway, great work on this. )