Reviews for GuiltRidden
leanneB chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
This is good for a first fic! I'm interested to see what the rasping sound coming from sam is - troubled breathing or something else...?

As for tips for writing, the only thing I noticed (and really it was VERY slight) is that you used peoples names when sometimes it wasn't needed eg. "michael call 911!" - "Is he gonna be okay?" "I don't know Michael..." The second Michael was kinda redundant - we all know who he was talking to. Just try re-reading your fic and think of it from an everyday conversation POV, we don't use peoples names that often in sentances. I know they are needed more often in fic than in the real world - and it can be a really fine line between too much name use and too little (which obviously is confusing!) but have faith in your readers, most of the time we can work it out! :)

Hope you update again soon. Congratulations on posting your first fic! - Leanne. :p
Sandy Murray chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
I like, is good poor Sammy and well poor and por dean
Zenamydog chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
Yep interested in reading more! Bit longer next time tho?
pmsdevil01 chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
i thought it was good. i can't believe it's your first fan fic. hope you update soon.
Kaewi chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
I agree with you.. I also wondered what would have happened if Dean had been out too long. Looks like a good start! Hopefully the next chapter will be a little longer? ;)
snfan228 chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
Ooh I never even thought about this before... interesting! Please continue! Pretty please? :D
Laheara chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
Ok I can work with this start. :) But NEED more SOON! :) I love ep tags they are a great deal of fun to play with. You know another good ep you could play with is what if Dean got to Sam in the store a little later in the Bloody Mary ep. :)
Carolyne chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
This is great! I always wondered what would have happened if Dean didn't stop the Shtriga! Can't wait to read the next chapter. Will there be lots of Dean (big bro) worrying about Sammy?
Tahaufren chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
:D Yay for angsty Dean! *dances*
Phx chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
Yay! A Sammy owie story - I as beginning to think there were none left, lol!

You got my attention and I cant' wait to see how this plays out as I've wondered myself what would have happened if Dean had been knocked out.

sammywinchesterisLOVE chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
I wanna see where your going with this...

its a really good start :D

Please update soon!
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