|Reviews for GuiltRidden|
| leanneB chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
This is good for a first fic! I'm interested to see what the rasping sound coming from sam is - troubled breathing or something else...?
As for tips for writing, the only thing I noticed (and really it was VERY slight) is that you used peoples names when sometimes it wasn't needed eg. "michael call 911!" - "Is he gonna be okay?" "I don't know Michael..." The second Michael was kinda redundant - we all know who he was talking to. Just try re-reading your fic and think of it from an everyday conversation POV, we don't use peoples names that often in sentances. I know they are needed more often in fic than in the real world - and it can be a really fine line between too much name use and too little (which obviously is confusing!) but have faith in your readers, most of the time we can work it out! :)
Hope you update again soon. Congratulations on posting your first fic! - Leanne. :p
| Sandy Murray chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
I like, is good poor Sammy and well poor and por dean
| Zenamydog chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
Yep interested in reading more! Bit longer next time tho?
| pmsdevil01 chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
i thought it was good. i can't believe it's your first fan fic. hope you update soon.
| Kaewi chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
I agree with you.. I also wondered what would have happened if Dean had been out too long. Looks like a good start! Hopefully the next chapter will be a little longer? ;)
| snfan228 chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
Ooh I never even thought about this before... interesting! Please continue! Pretty please? :D
| Laheara chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
Ok I can work with this start. :) But NEED more SOON! :) I love ep tags they are a great deal of fun to play with. You know another good ep you could play with is what if Dean got to Sam in the store a little later in the Bloody Mary ep. :)
| Carolyne chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
This is great! I always wondered what would have happened if Dean didn't stop the Shtriga! Can't wait to read the next chapter. Will there be lots of Dean (big bro) worrying about Sammy?
| Tahaufren chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
:D Yay for angsty Dean! *dances*
| Phx chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
Yay! A Sammy owie story - I as beginning to think there were none left, lol!
You got my attention and I cant' wait to see how this plays out as I've wondered myself what would have happened if Dean had been knocked out.
| sammywinchesterisLOVE chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
I wanna see where your going with this...
its a really good start :D
Please update soon!