Reviews for Because of Her
b00k-gir1 chapter 1 . 5/17/2011
awwwww so sweet i wished u put them 2gethr tho
ironcheforegon chapter 1 . 8/8/2006
Very nice story! Very well written... It "feels real" is all I can say. I hope that makes sense...

The only suggestion I have is to be careful about writing in the first person. Make sure we know who "you" are early on, especially if you are an "other character." Trying to figure out who "you" are can be distracting. Are you Dean or are you Ginny, or are you "YOU"?

It can just be distracting. But once we know who you are, if we go back and reread it, everything is fine. Just know that some people won't go back and reread it. Identifying yourself early on would eliminate that... like "Who would believe it, me, the Bookworm of Hogwarts..." or "I couldn't believe it! I wasn't Harry, or Ron. I was just one of the nameless faces at the Gryffindor table, one of the ones who never caught anyone's attention. And yet, there she was, Hermione Granger... looking at ME! Somehow, I had caught her attention..."

Above all else, keep up the great work!
OloEopia-Merlin chapter 1 . 8/1/2006
Great job on your first fic. I can see the admiration you have for Hermione. It was truly apparent in your story. The story flowed well enough, but I would have liked to have known who the narrator was. Did you reveal him and I just missed it? Well, good luck with other stories.
dark angel121 chapter 1 . 8/1/2006
Now this all seems awfully familiar, don't you think? D

"Having the chance to be invited to her room should have been such a winning moment in my life but under these circumstances I felt completely ill fated by Merlin himself."

Nice line. I do love the whole scene with the two of them in her room. It's sweet and has a touch of seduction (if that's the right word for it) Great stuff, man. Keep them coming.

-Beth Brown
VacantSkies chapter 1 . 8/1/2006
This looks familiar ;)

Your story has come along very well, it's progressed nicely from when I first read it in June.

I liked how you added this line in the final revision:

"Having the chance to be invited to her room should have been such a winning moment in my life but under these circumstances I felt completely ill fated by Merlin himself."

I think I'd be just a little nervous too if Hermione Granger invited me to HER room. It just makes me sad to know that it will never happen because she's a character in a book. Heh.

Anyway, nice job on the story! I hope we see more from you soon!