Reviews for Simplicity is Complexity UnEdited
ThatChickThereCharron chapter 1 . 10/4/2009
cant wait to read the next chappy ;)
razeblaze chapter 1 . 4/19/2009
Wow, I have never seen u get so turned on my r own lemon. But before u ask, it is quite possible to masturbate while reading, the only problem would be not getting caught. Good job
PrinceChidumebi chapter 1 . 9/24/2008
DUDE this is a sweet story can u e-mail me about when ur gonna do the next chappter
ArgyBargy chapter 1 . 12/26/2007
I don't mean to sound rude, but this is really quite bad.

You should proof-read your fiction at least once or twice before you put it up here - there's enough badly-spelt fanfics as it is, and sometimes spellcheck just isn't enough.

Your grammar is...Alright...But sentences seem to run awkwardly e.g. the opening sentence - "After two months of returning to Konoha, two years of being an undead warrior, who fought more like an assassin than a heroic soldier, he was still not used to have much bonding time with a human." Do we really need to have 'who fought more like an assassin than a heroic warrior' shoved in there? It should at least be in brackets or hyphens, signaling a change of thoughts. (You understand me, right?)

Also note that the "have" should be changed to 'having', or just removed. Bad cases of purple prose abound (it's a bad lemon in general) but I'm afraid I'll have to stop here.

Ciao, and good luck improving your work.
Orange Pie chapter 1 . 11/13/2007
PLEASE Continue!
PhantasmagoricBlade chapter 1 . 10/16/2007
WOW horny
Romez chapter 1 . 10/12/2007
Speechless... that was effing amazing! (no pun intended). Dude... wow. I hope... I can write like you! You are inhuman!
Shodaime Mizukage chapter 1 . 10/2/2007
Oh my fucking god. This was, by far the best written lemon I've seen to date. The way you portray Hinata is very well written, and it ties into how you show her in your other works. Let's just say, my girl wasn't able to move when I saw her after reading this. Keep up the good work. I wish you'd continue this and finally finish with SiC. I've been awaiting it for months now.
Yukoyishi chapter 1 . 5/19/2007
Wow. That's possibly the most vividly described lemon i've ever read. And it sure does show a new side to Hinata that we don't expect to see. A very nice job with this. And incredibly well done considering you were describing Hinata going at it solo. Most the time its _ inserts penis, _ moans, _ cums. End.

As for you finding it hard to not get turned on when writing this, i can empathise, i don't think any guy read this without an erection.. your writing is that good. They say the pen is mightier than the sword, well this takes that to a new level.
The-Eighth-Sin chapter 1 . 4/27/2007
w...wow...just wow. I've read lemons before. But this...this takes the cake...the sexy, sexy cake. Hinata is probably one of my least favorite girls too. I'd mutch rather it be a Tenten Naruto especially after your description of Tenten from Simplicity is Complexity. But you seem to be an avid Naru/Hina. This really got me going...you know...down there. I'm a guy and this probably is wierd to hear lol. But man that was good. I'm gonna go masturbate now.
bucsboy chapter 1 . 3/15/2007
I have to say that this is the most intense thing I have ever read. This is better than masturbating! :)
Yordey chapter 1 . 3/13/2007
Pretty good lemon

Please continue your Downfall saga, Simplicity, and Hime Murasaki
Visceral Epiphany chapter 1 . 2/26/2007
yea good...all that needs now is for u to put in the next chapter where she takes him and makes him hers...
The True Angel of Death chapter 1 . 2/25/2007
I did not think you were capable of that, personally.

I just came from reading SiC,and I truthfully didn't expect that, although I won't deny liking it. It is definitely a very creative and (if I say so myself) wonderfully done lemon.

In a nutshell, please continue with the great work.
Duke chapter 1 . 2/22/2007
That was Beautiful!
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