|Reviews for Pain Is Not An Option|
| guest chapter 6 . 3/1
I have A LOT to say about this fic. Even though I realize it is an old one and you probably don't care about it anymore.
I'll start with constructive criticism. Japanese. Don't use it. I don't care if you think it adds something. It interrupts the flow of the story. It is hard to read even for those who understand what you mean. If you must use it, use only a couple words and also HAVE A DEFINITION FOR THEM! Your story is in English. It should be ENTIRELY in English! How much harder is it to say "What's wrong?" It's not that hard. You may think that the Japanese sounds better, but it is hard to for the reader to transition between languages for conversation and description.
Second. You should have adequate warnings at the beginning of your fic if they have delicate topics. I would even recommend putting a warning/AN at the beginning of every chapter for a fic like this. Ex. For ch1 Contains graphic rape(non-con)/violence. For a few other chapters, mature content/masturbation. For ch6 Contains Sex between minors.
Another very important warning tag you need is the OOC tag. The only time I noticed you say that your characters were "a little bit OOC" is in the final chapter at the end note. This is far far too late. Some people like OOC characters, others do not. Either way, if you feel that your characters might end up a bit different than they are in the anime/manga, then you need to put an OOC warning. You can even say "I tried to put them as in character as I could for this situation." Even though that is not what you appeared to do at all in this fic.
You need to put MAJOR OOC warnings in the first chapter. The ONLY character I felt was IN character for the entire story was Himawari and she barely showed up. I will go by character.
First. Doumeki. Majorly OOC. If you read the manga, you would realize that he isn't bothered at all by Watanuki's outbursts. If anything, he is amused by them. A little further reading would make you understand that he wants to protect Watanuki. Even against Watanuki's wishes. In what way did Doumeki do that here? He didn't. He beat and raped Watanuki. That's about polar opposite to what he normally does. Yes, with an OOC warning, you could be given a little leniency, but you didn't have one. Also, you seem to think he is "in character" for the most part. Even if Doumeki lost his temper with Watanuki, I think he would be satisfied with a single punch. He certainly would not beat him, throw him into a wall, rip off his clothes, and rape him...And then leave him there afterwards.
In fact, the only rape fic I see as remotely plausible with Doumeki would be if he was possessed by something (probably impossible considering his aura) or maybe under the influence of mind-altering drugs/alcohol. Even still, I could see him holding Watanuki down and raping him(while confessing to long held feelings/frustrations), but I couldn't see the excessive and unnecessary beating or even being very rough. What's more is that he doesn't even realize what he did wrong! He thought rape was a perfectly acceptable response to the situation and was later confused as to why he was avoided. This makes no sense. Even rapists would realize that they would be avoided. I could understand better if you had Doumeki smirk or something at Watanuki's reaction and made him a sadistic stalker than having his "normal character" behave like this. If you did go by the possession route, Doumeki would never forgive himself and he would apologize first thing. Oh, by the way, He didn't even seem apologetic at all in the last chapter. He basically said that Watanuki deserved it for never considering his feeling and being in love with Himawari. That is not a valid excuse for rape. There is no valid excuse for rape, but this one was by far one of the least reasonable ones I have ever seen. Even he would realize how flimsy that sounds. "Oh, I knew you were in love with someone else, you made me jealous, so I raped you. Sorry about that. Love you." -that's what his apology sounded like to me.
Watanuki is also very OOC. He forgave Doumeki? Really? And it took how long? Two days? Honestly, I couldn't even finish the last chapter because I was so pissed. No, just no. You did not do any research on rape at all did you? It was honestly sickening. For a first fic, this was NOT the topic you should have chosen, especially since you half-assed it. Watanuki ran away from Doumeki at lunch and decided to skip school to avoid him. That was the only action that I felt was reasonable from him. Also, the feeling of being dirty and used was reasonable. I do not believe that Watanuki would have gone to Yuuko's shop right afterwards. He would have gone to his apartment first. Why? Because rape victims often have a deep feeling of shame over what happened and feel the need to clean themselves. He would have gone back to his apartment and cleaned up there. He would NOT have been worried about work. Maybe you could say he was in shock. Maybe. And Maybe you could say that Yuuko's shop feels more like home to him than his empty apartment. But there is no way he would have wanted Yuuko to know what happened, let alone meet her while he felt so dirty.
Next he gets aroused by his rapist after being CHASED DOWN! Rape victims do not act like that. They would be so terrified they could not move after being chased and cornered by their rapist. Possibly they would even wet themselves. They would scream, run, or possibly be frozen in fear, but they would not react like that. They would be reliving all the pain/fear/betrayal that they felt the first time. Next he was masturbating to thought of his rapist while in the shower. That's a big no too. He just said how filthy/dirty he feels. While it may be normal for some people to fantasize about rape, rape victims do not feel the same way. In fact, in a rape fantasy, the fantasizer has COMPLETE control over everything that is happening in their mind, there is no resemblance to being raped at all.
No way chapter six would have happened. Watanuki would never forgive something like that. It's not in his character even though he is so gentle. He could forgive a drunken one night stand where he was taken advantage of, but not a violent beating and rape. Also, even if (by some miracle) Watanuki did forgive Doumeki. Their relationship would not go like that. It would take a long time for Watanuki to even let ANYONE touch him in a non-sexual, let alone let Doumeki (his rapist) touch him in a sexual way.
Back to Yuuko. She was also majorly OOC. If someone really hurt Watanuki like that, she would have been all over them. And if she got an INKLING of an idea that something like that would happen, she would have given a warning at the very least. She certainly would not have been that cold and uncaring towards someone she cared so much about. She literally said that her only wish was for Watanuki to exist. Now she is blaming his hyperactiveness for his rape? No way would she ever do that.
That was a recurring problem in this fic. Blaming the victim. The victim is NEVER responsible for being raped. No matter how many actions they take that can seem to lead on the other party. Watanuki may have been "deserving of" a punch for his actions, but not rape. If someone dresses in sluttly cosplay does it mean she deserves to be raped? If someone has a few drinks at a bar does she deserve to be raped? If someone walks alone through a parking lot at night to her car does she deserve to be raped? Hell, if a girl yells at her boyfriend about being insensitive does she deserve to be raped? No to all of the above. Nobody deserves to be raped, except maybe pedophile.
By the end you had Doumeki, Yuuko, and even Watanuki all agreeing that is was HIS FAULT FOR BEING RAPED! What the actual f*ck did I just read? Seriously? What the hell?! I couldn't even stomach reading the end as soon as I saw they were going to have sex.
This was a really long review. I would apologize for being harsh with a first time fic, but I won't. I was grossly offended by how you portrayed rape, rape victims, had rapists turned lovers, and blamed the victim. Character portrayals could have been overlooked or fixed with an OOC warning, but these flaws are enormous in a fic of this kind. My recommendation would be to stick to fics of different topics. Don't choose controversial or sensitive topics anymore unless you plan to actually do research on them first.
| Silly Fan chapter 1 . 2/18
I can't help but agree with the anonymous reviewer 'Silly' because she/he puts exactly into words exactly how i feel about this fan fiction of yours.
I mean what the fuck?
Doumeki would NEVER EVER hurt Watanuki let alone RAPE HIM!
i can't believe it!
In case you missed it in the manga and in the anime, Doumeki protects Watanuki and his job is kind of like a 'protector.'
Rape can never be justified.
and you've gone ahead and made Watanuki fall in love with him.
Your fanfiction is messed up.
| Guest chapter 6 . 12/28/2013
I'll be honest, this is probly my most favorite fanfic of all times.
| bre 42 chapter 6 . 9/26/2013
I liked this story no matter what. happened. It was new to see Doumeki so off his normal that it made me like it more
| bre 42 chapter 1 . 9/26/2013
Loved the opening. That author's note at the end had me tho. "That's gotta hurt."
| Silly chapter 4 . 5/28/2013
This ia horrid. Absolutely horrid.
I cant find anything good about this story besides your tollerable spelling.
#1- what on earth made you think that Doumeki would ever, EVER rape and beat watanuki? I'm pretty sure one of his hobbies is protecting watanuki, let alone rape him. Seriously, and then labelling and trying to twist it into romance? That is utterly revolting.
#2- the japanese words. Stop, please. I am fluent in japanese, and not only are most of the romanji words you write incorrect, but they just sound utterly stupid mixed in with english words. It also really disregards the people who came here to read an english story, not a japanese story.
#3- the characters. First, making Yuuko act as though watanuki is at fault for being raped? Yuuko is not that cruel, to be honest i think yuukos reaction would be the exact opposite of what you wrote. Second, making watanuki not only forgive doumeki, but fall in love with him too? I think that watanuki isnt pitiful enough to completely let two of the most important people in his life (yuuko and doumeki) walk all over him. And i think you already know of my feelings towards doumeki.
You should probably just stay away from writing, but if you really must, please research more on what you are writing about and make the plot a little less, how to put it, stupid.
I hope to never read another piece of yours.
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/24/2013
| marlogirl chapter 6 . 9/11/2012
Are u f***ing crazy?!
| Lenalee Lee Bad-ass B.O.E chapter 4 . 8/30/2012
That was just too much Japanese. Too much!
| Nala87 chapter 6 . 7/30/2012
I don't mind rape fics, love the angst and drama. However the concept of blaming the rape victim, even if just in part for the attack is somehow... I think the story would have been better if taken in a different direction I guess, a hurt/comfort angst as opposed to a romance/angst fic. Those are just my thoughts though. Keep the creative juices flowing, and the fanfics too.
| NanaliJoci chapter 6 . 4/8/2012
TT that was just sweet and twisted,
i was really shocked when doumeki beat and raped watanuki, surprised me alot but after all that they made up just like the title 'pain is not an option'
| Drunken Strawberries chapter 6 . 3/12/2012
I almost cried TAT. It would've been better had Doumeki been much more sorry and much more sincere. Cause his way and amount of sorrys make it seem ad though he is sorry but not as sorry as he should be. I mean, you don't act all normal at your first meeting the day after you rape and practically beat someone to death. You probably won't even be able to meet their eye or talk to them at all, no matter how stoic and emotionless Doumeki may seem.
I hope you don't find this annoying or totally something. I just thought I should tell you... Hope I was able to help with this Ｏ（）Ｏ
| YeahYouWannaKnowMyName chapter 6 . 5/2/2011
Really serprising for a first xxxHolic. Very brave idea for our expressionless monotone temple child. But the story was good, if very startling. And, now that the memories are coming back, I can even tell you the emotions Watanuki experiences is pretty acurate. Except for the following the rapist to his place thing, but it was needed for the story, so, you know, whatever.
| half-breed vampire chapter 6 . 2/26/2011
For your first xxholic fic it was very good. You caught my attention in each chapter, good work.
| Cherry-Anne Sponge chapter 6 . 11/15/2010
Aww diff from the usual fan fics I like it! Would have been good if you had added the foreplay instead of saying what they did xp