|Reviews for Human|
| Bacon chapter 3 . 10/30/2017
he has an evil throne of ominousness every bad guy does
| Blake2020 chapter 1 . 8/7/2017
| The great guest chapter 1 . 1/6/2015
Ash is 15, what is this magic!
| Rasoar chapter 11 . 2/11/2014
Hey, not cool. You ruined the ideas that I had so far for this story. I hate the fact I have no ideas for this. But this is a good story.
| Guest chapter 11 . 1/11/2014
This story is just too good! It's kind of story you wan't to hear happy ending. But, you did pointed the facts and it was obvius they both knew what will happen.
| Sada Pazaki chapter 11 . 3/2/2013
This was GREAT! I'm so reading the sequel
| Shaystorm chapter 11 . 1/16/2013
totally epically strangely WEIRD. But I liked it. :)
| Shaystorm chapter 2 . 1/16/2013
Weird but intriguing ...
| pikachucat chapter 11 . 1/15/2013
| RavenGaleSpencer chapter 11 . 1/13/2013
It started out looking like Misty was going to just have a maternal concern for Mewtwo, but it was obvious by Chapter 3 you were steering towards romance instead. For some reason, I feel like Misty and Mewtwo falling for each other, and Mewtwo turning himself into a human so they can do it should be so weird and dysfunctional that it creeps me out. But, somehow, it doesn't. Maybe it's just because more messed up things than that happen in anime, and in the later installations of Pokemon games there is a weird, complex system of cloning and/or breeding. In any case, I was genuinely able to enjoy this Beauty and the Beast-reminiscent romance. The bittersweet ending absolutely nailed it, where he fakes being repulsed by being human so that he can let her go. Utterly perfect.
There's only a couple of suggestions I have about the whole thing. One, in the movie, there were no boats to the island because of the storm, but that didn't stop the trainers from using their water Pokemon to get there. It seems weird to me that Ash-determined as he is-wouldn't have tried to do the same thing again to get to the island to save Misty. (I almost thought that was going to happen and he was going to catch Misty in bed with a clone of himself. XD) Even if he doesn't make it there until the end, it would have been more believable of him to TRY to brave the storm but fail...or maybe, at the very least, set out to do so, but Brock stops him because "it's suicide," or something.
Two, Mewtwo speaks near the beginning of continuing to carry out his "plan." In Chapter 3, Misty wonders if he still intends to destroy the world. Then a little further down in the chapter, we get her lamenting, "If she had escaped with Ash and Brock, by now she could be having a nice hot meal with her friends and trusted pokemon." As if she just forgot that Mewtwo is still planning on blowing up everything. ('Course, we learn that he doesn't even know himself what he plans to do now, but Misty doesn't know that; for all she knows he still wants to crush everything.) I think you have a really great opportunity in Ch. 3 to establish Misty's motives a bit more clearly: she could be TELLING herself that she is staying with Mewtwo just to stop him from wreaking his vengeance on all of humanity, while the truth of it is that she's falling in love with him.
All in all, I enjoyed this story a lot, and I'm more than a little curious now to see how "Hybrid" and "Monster" play out. :)
| RavenGaleSpencer chapter 2 . 1/13/2013
The tone of this chapter is totally appropriate for an anime show. Anime, to me, is kinda like stage acting. The characters are somewhat caricatured, the emotions exaggerated. Instead of just smiling to portray happiness, an anime character will beam, dance, wave their arms around, etc. Instead of just looking downcast when sad, they'll burst into really conspicuous tears, as Misty does here because she doesn't even understand her own reasons for staying.
The slap was funny. :) Reminded me of Dorothy slapping the Cowardly Lion in Wizard of Oz.
| RavenGaleSpencer chapter 1 . 1/13/2013
It's been such a long time since I've seen the Pokemon movie, but from what I do remember, this scenario seems quite plausible. Misty was always compassionate towards even the less-loved Pokemon. (I remember some comic where she talked down a Tentacruel that was destroying a town, and Togepi thinks she's its mother.) So, I wouldn't put it past her to be the one who shows sympathy for Mewtwo.
Only one criticism here: the Doc Manager copy/paste got you. :P "She'd been getting the feeling fairly often that he was interested in her as more than just a FRIEND AND fellow pokemon trainer." (Sometimes I like to quickly scan through the Document for red underlines to see if there are any run-on words.)
| Farla chapter 2 . 12/28/2012
The plotting of this just really isn't very well thought out. Misty not only didn't get her pokemon, she didn't even think to look for them before now? And there were backpacks full of potions and revives just lying around, but she decided to take a nap instead of getting them when Mew and Mewtwo were both knocked out and horribly injured?
And she's doing the annoying romance novel fumbling over why she's helping, when last chapter she was perfectly clear that she felt unreasonably sympathetic for him, and Mewtwo is doing the standard being confused by it, even though he already has a perfectly good box to put "human displays kindness" into - namely, that they plan to use him.
Both characters seem badly constrained by your plot. Things are moving way too fast. Last chapter Misty had already decided he was just sad and alone, and now this chapter Mewtwo is already attached to her and deeply hurt she says he's done bad things.
[SLAP! Mewtwo's eyes widened. This tiny human girl had dared to challenge his power… by simply slapping him across his pale face, although she had to stand on her toes to reach him. She had caught him off guard, so he had not raised a barrier, and he felt the full sting of her assault. Not that it was particularly painful, but the action itself was so bold, and shocking.
The girl glared at Mewtwo.
"You're just a big… a big… bully! First you trap us all here and take advantage of us and our pokemon, and then I decide to take care of you, out of the kindness of my heart, and you just force me to leave and forget all about you? And don't go around calling me 'human'. I'm not just any human. There are billions of us on this planet, and we all have names, and mine's Misty! Mis-tee. Got it?" This human girl… Misty… appeared irate. Mewtwo obviously didn't consider her a physical threat to him, but she was brave, or delusional, perhaps, to stand up to him, not with her pokemon to protect her, but alone.
Mewtwo did not reply for a moment. Fine then. Stay, if you wish, although I do not understand your desire to. It means nothing to me. I will carry out my plans, and you will simply observe, and will notattempt to interfere. Is that clear, human?
"Rrrrr! It's Misty! And fine then, maybe I will stay. Humph."]
It's basically standard anime romcom now.
| Farla chapter 1 . 12/28/2012
[Humans were so cruel, both for abusing him and for ever creating him in the first place.]
This doesn't seem quite right - Mewtwo wasn't abused, just used. He blows up his birthplace because the people there viewed him as a thing, and does the same when Giovanni says he isn't an equal.
[Misty realized that automatically, she had been referring to Mewtwo in her thoughts as "he" and "him". Being a genetically unique, one-of-a-kind superclone, it made no sense that Mewtwo would have a gender, but it felt wrong using "it".]
This is something that seems to happen in every Mewtwo shipfic, and it's always various degrees of awkward.
The reason we say Mewtwo is a "he" is because he's got a male voice, which is as valid a way of determining gender as anything. (People are as likely to say "he looks like a girl" as "she sounds like a guy".) There's also no reason to assume the fact he's unique means he doesn't have a gender - that smacks of game knowledge that the legendaries are usually listed as genderless. Even in the event he was sterile, there's no reason he couldn't also be considered male, since gender does encompass more than just which gametes you produce.
This also isn't something anyone should be stopping to examine in detail. It's not that it sounds wrong to use "it", it's that we automatically pick pronouns to match the signals we get and don't really think about it.
This seems to come up as some sort of roundabout defense for shipping a human with a pokemon, but by immediately going for insisting he's definitely male, it actually just serves to make this seem overly concerned with sex, like the crucial issue is establishing that Misty isn't gay.
This sort of internal discussion really belongs much further into the story, when she's actually got feelings for Mewtwo and is getting weirded out by them.
["I wish that thing would just kill Mewtwo," said the female trainer next to Misty angrily, watching attentively as Mew and Mewtwo fought. "He shouldn't have ever been created! Scientists are supposed to be smart, but they do such stupid things, like making a psycho clone that wants to destroy us!"
Somehow, that comment bothered Misty, but she didn't fully understand why. She couldn't bring herself to feel anger towards Mewtwo, only sadness. Maybe it was because she realized that as powerful and intelligent as Mewtwo was, it meant he was matchless— forever alone, on a different plane than all other life on earth]
And this is really forced. The other trainer should hope Mew kills Mewtwo because Mewtwo has loudly and repeatedly explained he's going to kill absolutely everyone. Misty should be busy being worried about the killing absolutely everyone business as well. Having her start off just knowing that she should be busy sympathizing with Mewtwo is cutting out her character development, and it's also poor writing right this moment - you write about her thoughts at a weird step removed, so you're not really showing her thinking them, you're just telling the reader what you want her to think.
A better way of doing this would be to have them hoping Mew wins because they're neither suicidal nor in favor of omnicide, and Misty feeling bad that it's necessary and wishing there was another way.
And Mewtwo does not display intelligence above a human's, so it's not his super awesomeness causing him to be alone because there's just no one as great as he is. And considering his insistence he's so super awesome is what's currently being used to justify destroying the world, I don't think anyone there would be thinking he's right about how he's just so peerless.
[ Also, Mewtwo looked so dissimilar to other pokemon. People, and, probably, other pokemon as well, would be terrified of him just because of the way he appeared. ]
Pokemon are pretty varied. Now, unlike other pokemon he's the only one who looks like himself, but still, we know pokemon aren't terrified at the sight of him and she knows he claimed to have raised pokemon of his own as part of his weird proving-he-can-do-anything-you-can-but-better thing.
Basically, you've got to tone Misty's sympathy way, way down. It doesn't make any sense here. She has bigger, more pressing issues, like the fact the world's going to end and her pokemon are slowly dying in front of her as they fight their clones.
...also you really don't need her to then get into if she has feelings about Ash. They're watching the battle for the fate of the planet. She has bigger concerns.
[Mewtwo physically could not continue this much longer, but backing down was not an option. If he were to fall to the cold ground, there would be no one there to catch him. Because of what he was, and what he planned to do, all these humans despised him as he did them. He was alone in this fight, in complete solidarity. ]
This doesn't particularly seem like how he'd view things. Mewtwo is very self-reliant - why would he be focused on the fact there's no one to save him? I mean, if nothing else, what good would someone else be able to do to protect him against opponents who did beat him? Even if Mewtwo would like to have other people on his side, that desire must be buried really, really deep by now.
Plus, currently he's fighting a wild pokemon. Remember, Mewtwo's issues aren't just with humans, he's also decided to hate all non-clone pokemon. It isn't necessarily the humans he has to fear - Mew might just finish him off, or one of the other pokemon.
[Mewtwo didn't seem like a pokemon at all. She could sense his profound intellect, his powerful psychic abilities, and, most of all, his anger. Never had she sensed such human emotion in a pokemon.]
Misty isn't such a poor trainer that she's never noticed pokemon feeling anger before. It'd make a lot more sense to build on general sympathy for those injured, instead of her basically explaining here how if it was any other pokemon on the planet she wouldn't give a damn they were hurt.
And you keep relying on having her "somehow" just hold the opinions you want her too, which is very lazy writing. Look at Misty's character. She's a caring person - if anything she's more likely to be worried about an injured pokemon than a human, I mean, she does pull Ash and Pikachu from the water only to focus on Pikachu. It's not hard to believe she'd feel sympathy for someone injured even if they were otherwise bad, and it's a lot easier to swallow than her saying that she just knows Mewtwo should be the exception.
The escape scene is awkwardly written - they have their pokemon again, they wouldn't just leave Misty because a door's closed. You could have them agree to this - Misty says she'll stay here while they go alert the authorities, for example. Or you could have Mewtwo take a more active hand in this and start blindly teleporting them away to try to protect himself, and happen to run out of energy before getting to her - kind of contrived, but if you had the other trainers try to attack him when he got back up, you could say he was focusing his energy on the immediate threat and missed her. To have her staying here for any length of time, you'd need to work in some explanation that they're getting their memories erased, though, or something else along those lines. The trio braved a deadly storm to get there just because it was some invitation, there's no way Ash and Brock wouldn't be willing to risk a lot more with Misty trapped there.
[But she was too weary to do anything now; a wave of exhaustion had come over her the moment she stopped to think. With no ideas of anything better to do, she lay down on the hard ground next to the fallen Mewtwo and fell into a troubled sleep]
And this seems like a cop-out. Weary from what, watching pokemon fight? She sees Mewtwo's really hurt, she's super concerned about him, and yet she doesn't make any attempt to help him but passes out instead? I really don't see why she can't try to bandage him up or something, then lie down.
Also, where are all the other clone pokemon in this? Or Mew, who must be in even worse shape than Mewtwo if she's not outright dead?
| Powerstars chapter 3 . 11/19/2012
Nice, 's a cool, cute story.