Reviews for When Heaven Falls
Lili Bibi chapter 1 . 1/29/2013
That's sad...
Kikushi chapter 1 . 12/19/2011
I really like this, though I'm guilty of confining myself to the typical tried-and-true cliches of FF's general portrayal of Tenten. It's refreshing to imagine her being so twisted, as opposed to the Mary Sue she really is. Great job.
LadyRicoofQueenscove chapter 1 . 10/10/2010
I have to say this one of the best tenten five I hav read in a while. And your right when you say there isn't enough dark fics for the minor characters. Tenten is one my favorite characters and I hate the fact she doesn't get alot of spotlight because it makes it had to know what her personality is like. But it does somewhat make it easier to write about her so she doesn't seem too OOC. But I really enjoyed this story and I actually loved how neji turned on her in the end instead of getting back with her cause that would have made it so cliche. I mean I love neji and tenten but its nice to see yer in a different light for a change you know?
D3ath Mess3nger chapter 1 . 8/7/2010
This is one of the greatest Dark Fics ever! And about Tenten of all people! I also think she's an incredibly undeveloped character, but with great potential!

And I loved the Ending. I figure it's better than having her settle down in a place she hates with a guy she doesn't even care about. And to die laughing is the best way to go, especially for the way you developed her, especially if you consider she's laughing at Neji for descending to her level. Now, if you even plan on doing a long, Dark Fic with Naruto, let me know and let it be every bit as morbid and fun as this one!
maleija chapter 1 . 4/21/2010
YES! I AM MAD YOU KILLED OFF ITACHI LIKE THAT! lol but for real though? good job! itaten is a awsome couple and i like how you did this one shot!
akatsuki41066 chapter 1 . 4/21/2010
This was one of the best fics That I have read on this site so far. Keep writing and I can't wait to read more from yu.
Pseudonym la Anonymous chapter 1 . 5/10/2009
omg this is like, tha BEST. :P i love it! really, i do! :)
I AM LIYAH chapter 1 . 4/13/2009
Its a really good story and your right ten does mean heaven but tenten means heavenly heaven.
nitaBonita chapter 1 . 12/16/2008
Wow. i really liked it!, very well written, and i liked the way tenten was , and the end was indeed surprising.
ANA chapter 1 . 10/13/2008
Hey this story was great albeit the not so happy ending. What you said is so true and i totally agree with you. Tenten is one of my favourite characters and she doesn't get the limelight she deserves although i read somewhere that Masashi Kishimoto said that even though he didn't put her in the story much that she was his favourite female character. It's nice to know that i'm not the only one who thinks like this and that at least some people have a brain to think with. No offense to anybody.
Uchihas1010Hyuuga chapter 1 . 6/27/2008
I like the the twist that you had in the fic.

Please write more ItachixTenTen. Your fic is like so... wow! _

-cutieninjaneji0097-
LadyKandaYu chapter 1 . 2/17/2008
Bravo! XD That was genius! Xp True genius! I love the irony, the sour taste of every word and the open arms of betrayal. This actually reminds me of the opera, "Carmen". It was sad, exciting, and a true mastermind of words. XD Bravo!
asian-ninja chapter 1 . 7/30/2007
It was very dark and angsty. This was a real change from all the Neji and Tenten fluff and romance. I liked it a lot, but I would have to say that I was slightly surprised that Neji was the one to kill Tenten.
Whynter chapter 1 . 7/7/2007
Having read all three one-shots, I've decided to just compile my review into one and post it under here, seeing that this was the first one I read on this story.

First and foremost, I thought it was a very well-written one-shot. I agree with you that Tenten doesn't get enough limelight - she needs to be detached from being Neji's personal fangirl! (D:) But aside from that, I loved reading how you gradually initiated that change in Tenten; how from the outburst at the beginning slowly faded into a quiet resolve. Another thing is that you insert phrases here and there, that though simple, convey and conclude the entire paragraph. For example, "It was her last moment of innocence." Very aptly put. How you played around with her namesake was also, though not uncommonly used, very interesting.

A few things I have a bit of a problem about, though, is how you seemed to jump into Tenten's fall from 'heaven' and innocence right at the beginning with just a paragraph at the start of the story to convey her wrecked emotions. Surely there must have been something especially impactful that happened that made her realise how ridiculous Konoha was to her. Of course, it's not necessary to describe such an incident explicitly in the actual story, but it seems that Tenten's 'fall' seems rather groundless. There wasn't much on Tenten's emotional strain in the story, but instead how she was simply upset with her old self and how obsessed she was on filling the role of her new persona. Perhaps inserting a few hints as her thoughts somewhere in the middle of the story would have made it a little more well-rounded, instead of just having Tenten 'turn bad'.

Also, I'm a little doubtful about how Tenten was about to easily defeat Sasuke. It had only been three years since meeting Itachi and her running away - it's a bit hard for me to swallow that she, still under the teaching of Gai (meaning that she has yet to complete her education), was able to train herself to the extent of surpassing a rare bloodline and a man of talent. Tenten, whose strength in the series seemed only to be that of her accuracy and expertise with projectiles, was not mentioned to have talent in any other area. Maybe you could have stretched it a little, since you're still writing a fanfic and shouldn't be too confined to the rules of the series, and said that Tenten's drive to be stronger was enough to fuel her acceleration to power; but is that not the same for Sasuke? Has he also not been under the training of Orochimaru? For that matter, Tenten didn't have any training whatsoever on her own.

On another note, the development of the relationship between Neji and Tenten is also something that piqued my interest. Neji's obsession with gold, for example, was very unique yet fitting. (I especially liked the title 'Gold Equates to Heaven'. It reminded me of alchemy for some reason.) And that scene when he emptied his room of the gold after that confrontation with Tenten was especially moving and compelling - I was caught in the experience just reading it. (You seem to have a knack of doing that to me. ;)) How both parties seemed to fall from their elevated places, Tenten as the innocent kunoichi and Neji as the Hyuuga genius, simultaneously yet at two diversely different places (how Tenten's thrive in darkness contrasted with Neji's obsession in glittering gold was screaming juxtoposition at me) added to the captivating feel of the whole story.

Before I continue filling your review page with banter, allow me to stop here. You write with a wonderful feel for words, which is admirable. Should there be anything you disagree with, please feel free to throw me a pitchfork! (:

Thank you for the fantastic fanfic.
Tsuki no Okami chapter 1 . 6/19/2007
THta was so sad!
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