Reviews for What not to ask Voldemort
thelittlespud chapter 1 . 11/23/2016
Did you run into the wrong brick wall at the train station to get to platform 9 3/4? Is that why your nose (or what is left of it) is like that?

Also this just made my day. Thanks for posting :)
Hawkstar chapter 2 . 2/1/2012
why did you get pwned by a baby?
Leeto chapter 2 . 8/13/2011
Sarchah McGilligan chapter 2 . 6/1/2011
I would ask Voldemort something like this:

You knew how to use the most powerful spell and yet you lost to a simple expelliarmus... really were you like suffering from exhaustion or did you not eat your vitamins?

Or this:

Are you sure your dad left because he found out your mom was a wizard or did he just look at your face...

Great story :D
Sarchah McGilligan chapter 1 . 5/15/2011
Oh My Gosh. I think I just died laughing. Seriously. I love this story.

Why hasn't Voldemort got a dinosaur yet? I mean Dinosaurs are so much cooler then really big snakes... although really big snakes are pretty cool...
MovingSomewhereElse chapter 2 . 4/23/2011
""Do you ever order Lucius Malfoy to polish your head?""

""Have you thought about scaring Harry by saying 'Harry, I am your Father,' like Darth Vader does in Star Wars?""

""Have you ever skinny-dipped?""

""Have you ever sexually harassed a snake?""

""Before you killed your dad, did you commit incest?""

""If your mom had lived, would you have still killed your dad?""

""Why did you choose a name that means 'Flight of Death' in French?""

""Would you make out with a mudblood if it made you immortal?""

""Would you make out with Dumbledore if it made you immortal?""

""If you could, would you look more like your human self?""
dusty old books chapter 2 . 2/2/2011
Is the reason you could never defeat Harry, year after year, for seven years because your face on back of Quirrell's head cracked the Mirror of Erised?
Agent of Teal chapter 1 . 5/16/2010
Nice... totally off the wall but in a good way... If I was going to annoy Voldemort i'd ask.. 'If your so secretive why did you give your diary to Lucius Malfoy? Hope you didn't write anything incriminating in there or everybody will know about it.'... lol dumbass xXx
xXxAngelSoPreciousxXx chapter 1 . 2/15/2010
'Can I call you "he-who-let-the-boy-survive?"'

XMillieX chapter 2 . 2/14/2010
BRILLIANT! Haven't laughed so hard in such a long time
GinnyMastrani chapter 2 . 2/1/2010
zentry chapter 1 . 1/26/2010
so funny!
DracoGeorge'sCousin chapter 2 . 1/25/2010
i 3 it so freakin hysterical!
aimoon chapter 2 . 1/25/2010
i know guns have been mentioned, but he was raised muggle in the 50's and he never thought to take over a nuclear weapons plant/base with all his flying and mind control? seriously a nuke would have taken hogwartz out a lot easier than all this hand to hand nonsense.
Anonymous chapter 1 . 1/25/2010
LOL that is hilarious! :)
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