|Reviews for Custom Robo: Grand Championship|
| zXnecROMANcerXz chapter 1 . 7/14/2009
not to offend you in any way, but i think you have forgotten to write a disclaimer for this story but it's a good story
| RPMercenary chapter 1 . 3/18/2008
Looks good as an establishment to a story. Looks like it was an abandoned project since it was never updated after being published. It does get kinda confusing with the way you indicate that we don't know who the speaker's name is. Rather than "'I am Seth.' ?1 said.\'I am Lyon.' ?2 said," I would recommend "'I am Seth,' one said.\'And I am Lyon,' said the other."
It wouldn't hurt, either, to mention what time the story is set. Soon after Rahu I, before Rahu II, after Rahu II, or long after Rahu II (Those are just my personal notations for those time periods, not universally used, but just to give you an idea.) Near the beginning, too, it feels like the story is being rushed a bit. Don't be afraid to linger in one instance just to describe the setting, characters, or even give brief histories of the characters or the location, just to make the reader feel more comfortable or informed before whizzing them into the story with little or no knowledge of what is going on with characters that they only know by name.
I have noticed this in several stories (Including my own), but it seems that making the first battle of the story be one against an incredibly strong opponent, sometimes THE strongest that anyone will encounter before the end of the story, which I can't really recall seeing in any game. But I'm not criticizing it, since I've done it too, just pointing it out as something I noticed.
I would have liked to see where this story would have gone, but I guess I won't be able to.
| devandonet223 chapter 1 . 9/12/2007
Confusing but in my opinion instead of putting ?b or ?a you should've just said the 'anonymous boss', 'anonymous person number 1' something like that.
| 118-sethshadow chapter 1 . 8/4/2006
So you finally got started on a fanfic huh? It's been awhile. Well, for a first start, it's doing pretty well. I think you should extend some battles and such, but you're doing well for a start. I'll answer back soon, and please review my lastest chapter. Keep going!