|Reviews for Life as A Fox|
| Guest chapter 3 . 11/6/2015
dude... What type of revelation hit you in the head HARD ENOUGH to make you soooo exited and impatient about getting this story up that you rushed through it so HORRIBLY?! They don't even BLINK when he bursts into FLAMES! F.L.A.M.E.S! Did you even read this fanfiction even AFTER you posted it? Aww... Jeez, I'm sorry but really? COULDN'T you have written the part of the story you WANTED to write BEFORE writing the rest of it and then added it AFTERWARDS! Sorry for all the capital letters but really... REALLY... Even authors , like actual book writers, do this IF THE URGE IS STRONG ENOUGH, sometimes... Depends who it is... Please... It's a REALLY good story line thing you got here but you could have SLOWED DOWN... At least a little bit... It's (besides the fact that you skipped A LOT of the background story that makes it better, witch is connected to this current problem) the only real thing wrong with this... Again I'm sorry for sounding so harsh but, you have potential... You just need to work on your impatience, IF THATS THE CASE!... OF COURSE, and your ability to SLOW DOWN and READ WHAT YOU'RE WRITING! Again... I apologise.
| Guest chapter 7 . 11/4/2015
Noooo nooooo its over nooooo
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/14/2015
cool but wish there were pictures
| WordSmyth chapter 2 . 1/13/2015
The word is "already" not "all ready" and you certainly did not fix all the problems, you left a few glaring errrors.
| WordSmyth chapter 1 . 1/13/2015
At first you said he was a fox kit, now he's a wolf pup? make up your mind!
| Guest chapter 3 . 8/5/2014
F**ck You, England by CollageHumor on youtube.
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/5/2014
Canine Alliance. Wolf, Fox, Dingo, Coyote, Dog, and Jackal.
| fractalman chapter 5 . 10/25/2013
Cute premise, awfull execution.
| Guest chapter 6 . 3/6/2013
dame the was a great story make more make more
| iamgoku chapter 1 . 9/22/2011
| Hyper-Blossom Zlogin trouble chapter 1 . 1/31/2011
umm... first you called naruto a fox pup, then you called him a wollf pup; I'm confused...
| Crisis chapter 5 . 4/22/2010
Well, I just finished reading this and I have to say... I hate it.
I wasn't expecting to hate this story, as it sounded like a very good premise with a lot of potential. You also had very good spelling and grammar which I find to be a major point in your favor. The story also had my absolute favorite pairing as well, so I should have loved it, right?
My problems with this story is that;
1)It moves much faster than it feels like it should, making the whole thing seem rushed, which also makes it seem sloppy.
2)You try and condense events that should take whole paragraphs to convey into single sentences. You skip a lot of descriptive potential that would greatly flesh out your story by doing this. The whole thing feels more like an outline for a story rather than a finished product as a result. There is a great deal of background you need to add to the events and settings of this story to fix this.
3)Characters are much too accepting of strange and unexpected developments. Naruto vanishes on a mission: Odd, and worthy of investigation, yet his team dismisses it out of hand when it happens. This should have been a serious plot point from start to finish, and was severely underdeveloped. Hinata finds a stray fox and adopts it: Sure, whole premise of the story, I'll accept this. Said fox utilizes a fire jutsu against her cousin Neji when he's being his typical jerk self to Hinata: Alarming. This should have set off major warning bells and panic for Neji, Hinata, [i]and[/i] Naruto when this happened, along with much confusion. Yet Hinata just accepts it as normal, which I find highly unbelievable. Naruto can be understood by anyone who knows he's the fox: BIG stretch. I [i]might[/i] be able to buy this if you sold it better, but personally I'd have stuck to him being understood only by dogs and the Inazuka clan.
4)Hinata's Stepmother. This should have been at least a minor plot point, but I found it treated as more of a throwaway comment. Even the flashback, which could have contained all the explanatory drama really didn't seem to. All in all, it was very confusing and, in my opinion, probably could have been cut out altogether without detracting from the story.
5)The other kidnapping victims, who were likely transformed like Naruto. What happened to them? This should have also been a major, if primarily background, plot point, yet it seems like you forgot about these poor people completely.
6)The rapidity of which Naruto falls for Hinata. Seriously, he concludes that: Hinata has a crush on me, therefore I love her. This makes Naruto seem ridiculously shallow and makes for a very poor pairing. Romance like this needs time and drama to develop to the point you try to get it to. This was truly not handled properly at all.
7)The solution. Kakashi just [i]happens[/i] to know how to reverse this transformation when noone even suspected it happening in the first place, it is never never revealed just what was the cause of the transformation, and it was clearly something that was obscure enough not to be considered as a possibility. Yeah, this kills any and all suspension of disbelief. Finding a way to reverse this should have been a long and involved process, preferably one during which Naruto and Hinata can sort out what they feel for each other.
End result: Great idea, but your execution of it needs serious work.
| Black Ace 0 chapter 1 . 4/3/2010
| neko-kougal chapter 4 . 11/6/2008
naruto anime and manga. you'll need real media codec.
| Rose Tiger chapter 1 . 10/15/2008
How old are the ninjas?