Reviews for Dream Life
a2plusb2equalc2 chapter 3 . 5/23/2008
This has an interesting story kernal, and its development has been enchanting. But I echo other reviewers that it leaps a little too freely from one place/set-of-characters to another place/set-of-characters, as in "Takago nodded ..." / ""Kaoru-sama. I think ..." at the bottom of 3. Dirty Work.

For some FYI regarding departures from canon:

You use Takago. Canon Kaoru's grandfather's name is Genchiro. See manga vol 14, last page.

You use Mikuya. Canon Kaoru's mom's name is Kumi. See manga vol 1. I believe vol 1 also states his father's name.

I believe the manga gives us Aoi's father's name. Look in manga vol 15 or 16.

Look, I think, in the end of manga vol 12 for Miyabi's relationship to Aoi's family. She was taken in as a foster daughter. Later, in the last chapter of vol 17, the Sakuraba adopt Miyabi. So your scene showing Miyabi flirting with Aoi's father is a departure from expectations.

Remember that there is a 16 hour time zone difference between Japan and California (or 1 day minus 8 hours). When it is midnight in Japan it will be 8 am in California.

I look forward to seeing your next chapter, and seeing what you do next with this story.
bernadette chapter 3 . 9/16/2007
oh please do continue! it was lovely!
Evil Riggs chapter 1 . 4/28/2007
Interesting. Unfortunately, this is really hard to read in its current formatting. You'll want to divide this into paragraphs by both dialogue (so that each speaker starts a new paragraph) and different moments of action/themes.

Good luck on future chapters!
Nonamenonamenonameplease chapter 3 . 4/4/2007
Interesting is as interesting does. Sheesh, I use too many variations on the following: "(Blank) is as (blank) does". Dream: Kaoru's not only seeing his life pass him by while in the hospital but also fantasizing about an alternate universe. Can't wait to read more.
InusTgirlDreamer chapter 1 . 8/21/2006
what a lovely story having just read all three chapters. The only flaw I see would be Kaoru driving drunk. anyways I love the story and cant wait to read the next chapter.
Lena chapter 3 . 8/17/2006
Hey Jazzy!

That was so cool. I love how you wrote the characters, because I can almost hear the way they'd say these words. You did a great job and I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT TO BAD!

Love you

Bye
lil-sakura423 chapter 3 . 8/16/2006
Ok I should really stop review on my own story! _ But it's the only way I can keep in touch with all of my readers. Anyways sorry for the double post down there. My fault. In any case Chapter 2 is now up! Enjoy! O Chapter 3 is on it's way.
lil-sakura423 chapter 2 . 8/14/2006
Thank you so much for the reviews and reading my story! I am trying my hardest to get Chapter 2 posted as soon as possible but with the lack of internet in my home right now it is kind of a problem. But don't worry for I will use the library and study hall (that is when school starts up) But hopefully I will have internet at home by then. Cause I still have summer reading to do! _ Look out for the next Chapter! LOVE YOU ALL!

Jazzy aka Sakura
lil-sakura423 chapter 1 . 8/14/2006
Thank you so much for the reviews and reading my story! I am trying my hardest to get Chapter 2 posted as soon as possible but with the lack of internet in my home right now it is kind of a problem. But don't worry for I will use the library and study hall (that is when school starts up) But hopefully I will have internet at home by then. Cause I still have summer reading to do! _ Look out for the next Chapter! LOVE YOU ALL!

Jazzy aka Sakura
wchan39 chapter 2 . 8/14/2006
Wow...this is probably the best (and maybe the most original so far) Ai Yori Aoshi fic i ever read...we definitely need more of them around.

Don't let the lack of reviews bother you, just keep up the good work and they will eventually come to you.

wchan39