|Reviews for Barely Breathing|
| amyh52 chapter 8 . 1/29/2014
Such a touching story.
| dolelle chapter 8 . 9/29/2012
This was okay overall. The thing that let it down was the pacing.
At the beginning it was great. It was well-paced and mysterious, and very intriguing and well-written. However from the middle onwards things just felt rushed, which made the following events feel overdramatic and unsuspenseful. The romance was also badly paced, it felt like Derek realised he was in love after no build up whatsoever and their was no conflict between them about their feelings, which was pretty disappointing. I think this actually would've worked better as just a sibling fic, where their feelings were purely platonic for another - and Derek was just jumping in to save the day because he cares about her, not because he's in love. The romance just felt unnecessary and very unrealistic from Casey's side, considering what she was going through. Also it was a bit unrealistic in terms of the rape and the subsequent fallout and trauma of such an event - I don't feel Casey reacted as a victim would, but that's just my opinion.
I think if events had been dragged out longer, and given a greater build up, it would've been a fantastic story. The conflict with Daniel and then the reunion with the family at the hospital definitely needed more detail and "tension". Also if you'd spent time on the aftermath and possibly had Casey and Derek's relationship strengthen further through this, I think it would've made this fic more enjoyable and realistic.
Having said all this though, in terms of style and grammar/spelling this fic is very well done, so I commend you on that. You certainly show great potential in this story. I know this was written ages ago, and no doubt you've improved greatly since, but I thought I'd throw my two cents in anyway.
| Linwe-Amari chapter 8 . 7/6/2011
Quite lovely. :)
| A Smiling Cat chapter 8 . 3/18/2010
I don't know if you still have the same address ... But I wanted to tell you I found your story awsome !
You did a great job with Casey and Derek ... I love the protecting side of Derek towards Casey !
| anneryn7 chapter 8 . 2/15/2010
daniel is such an .sshole! BUT this fic is pretty much amazing!
| EscapeSomeday chapter 8 . 2/8/2010
That was really sad for Casey... But awesome story tho! The ending was epic! Loved it... Except for the bastard of course... He made me so mad... Hahah got a little carried away... :D all in all, it was perfect!
| Dark-Supernatural-Angel chapter 8 . 1/13/2010
OMG OMG OMG! I love how you ended it D
I love how Derek told Nora off (if you can call it that)!
I love how protective Derek got over Casey.
Purely loved it!
I'm not usually big on the tragic stuff but this was really well written and definitely unexpected (in my case at least)
| Dark-Supernatural-Angel chapter 7 . 1/13/2010
I love this chapter (even under the terrible circumstances).
Very well written, well done!
| Dark-Supernatural-Angel chapter 6 . 1/13/2010
I hate Nora now for sure!
Poor Derek and Casey O
So scared with this chapter's ending.
| Dark-Supernatural-Angel chapter 5 . 1/13/2010
Poor Casey & Lizzie.
Way to go Derek for the ending D He does care!
I don't get why Casey was crying over the wedding, or was it the fact that she had to go?
| Dark-Supernatural-Angel chapter 4 . 1/13/2010
Poor Casey but I'm dying to find out why she's so set against the wedding.
Great chapter D
| Dark-Supernatural-Angel chapter 2 . 1/13/2010
Poor Casey but those MacDonalds' are being mysterious and I bet it's just killing Derek.
Very cool D
| Dark-Supernatural-Angel chapter 1 . 1/13/2010
I too would like to know.
Very interesting story so far D
| missbellaswan chapter 8 . 1/4/2010
I really enjoyed this read :)
| Azhmyr Athena Le-Fay chapter 8 . 12/14/2009
love it very much