|Reviews for Things I hate about Steven Kloves|
| Er-my-nee Weasley chapter 1 . 11/26/2011
Lol, i agree with everything except about Hermione being Stupid. She. Is. Not.
| Naddles chapter 1 . 7/3/2011
I hate him too. He sucks dog's balls.
| nonokeiko chapter 1 . 8/7/2010
I thought Ron's crutch at the end of the movie combined with his accent to turn him into a charming cockney pickpocket.
| alpaca-army-general chapter 1 . 7/24/2010
I totally agree with everyone you mentioned! What really pissed me off about this movie was that Hermione stole Ron's line when they confronted Sirius! NOT COOL. That was one of my favorite Ron quotes! D: I like Hermione, but Steven Kloves made me hate the movie version of her.
So completely agree. :)
| campanula1979 chapter 1 . 6/20/2010
Hahaha I just saw that movie once in full - in the theater. It was terrible! And I don't get Steve Kloves obsession with Hermione either. J.K. Rowling made her awesome even with her flaws. The movie one is just annoying; someone I wouldn't consider being friends with.
I do have to put some of the blame on Alfonso Cuaron, the director. While I think it was awesome that he added more diversity at Hogwarts, he added stuff from what I assume to be from his own culture, and they just didn't make any sense or add relevance to the story. It was just plain unnecessary. "Children of Men" and "Pan's Labyrinth" (the latter he produced, and the latest works of his that I saw) were amazing; POA was just messy.
Still, he did one movie, and Steve Kloves wrote all of them, so I feel I can safely say that he is the reason why the movies are mediocre AT BEST.
| disregard chapter 1 . 3/16/2010
i read the book then watched the movie...and it had been painfully obvious that Ron was being overshadowed by the wonderful/brightest girl of her age/ smartest/wisest and now apparently coolest witch of all times, Hermione Granger...it's not that i dislike her, per se...it's just that the third book had already given her enough credit; she got to do the "time turning" adventure with Harry when Ron didn't, for example. She was there to set Sirius free with Harry and Ron wasn't...Enough credit to overshadow the fact that she had been petrified for most of the previous year. But apparently, that wasn't enough. Ron has to look like an idiot...But what i can't believe is the fact that they gave her the "If u wanna kill him, u'll hav to kill us first" line, when facing still-guilty-Sirius. That was one of my favorite lines in the whole book, showed just how brave and loyal Ron was...When i saw it on the movie, i had a moment of self doubt, wondering if i just got it mixed up, if it wasn't Hermione who actually said it in the book...But no, they STOLE it!
ok, sorry for the long rambling-thingy, but it's just that I TOTALLY agree with uu!
and i really like this one, i think it's hilarious, especially the werewolves part, i bet it's C too.
"Too poor to get two clutches" made me laugh SO hard!
love it, goes straight to my favs;;
| Hermowninny chapter 1 . 11/3/2009
Is that really what my hair looks like from the back? Worst line in the movie.
Very hilarious! And I agree. I have no issues with cutting unecessary things out, but when you cut out important things for random, not funny jokes it is an issue.
You should do these for all the movies because I love your sense of humor here so much!
| Abraxan chapter 1 . 3/18/2009
Well that was a hoot! I, too, get VERY annoyed about "super-Hermione" and about Ron being turned into an afterthought, and his and Harry's lines being given to Hermione. And what's with her hair? The Yule Ball was anticlimactic because her hair has looked fine since PoA and she's never had the buck teeth Hermione did in the books. How about a similar rant about the other films to date? I know adaptations have to leave things out, but you're right, the bird in the Whomping Willow took up valuable screen time that could've been better used. And while it was FUNNY for Harry to be grabbed by his shirt and then dragged around the tree by Hermione, it was so unlikely - especially for her to drop him perfectly in the hole, and then fall in there herself - it was distracting. Molly running after the train with Scabbers was another slap at poor Ron, who really seems to love that scruffy old rat. Your comment about him being too poor to have two crutches had me LOL. Well done!
| kareem33 chapter 1 . 9/22/2008
i'd love to see what you thought about movies 4&5 :)
| Your Valensi chapter 1 . 7/11/2008
i completely agree with you.
ok, so maybe i dont really hate this steven kloves bloke or whatever, but the movies do tend to suck.
ron should be funny and sarcastic, but.. he's not.
and you're right, i hate how they include these dumb extra scenes, but they cut out the most important stuff! especially that double double toil and trouble choir crap in the beginning...
im pretty sure that wasnt in the book.
or maybe it was. whatever, the point is, you're completely right.
i think a hate letter should be written. and mailed.
| LittleMountainofLight chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
Sorry... sorry. I know you said no angry reviews and all, but it was my favorite HP movie up to date.
I mean, it is a movie, after all. A lot of things change from the book to the script. They have to cut it out for time and all. (Thank god they're not for DH, though).
I know what you mean about Ron, but Hermione wasn't seen a lot from before. I mean, she gets petrified in the second one, so I think it was her turn. She was awesome in it, too. (They all were).
Again, sorry for the long review thing.
| mj-hedwig13 chapter 1 . 5/28/2008
i totally agree with u! this is so true i love this! i could not sto laughing! u should write another one! this covered the problems with prisinor of azkaban perfectly! i too really hate what they have done to hermione in the movies, and they make ron seem like the bumbling idiot whos just tagging along with harry and hermione cuz he has no place left to go or something...idk, but it really annoys me!
| Kashlryyk chapter 1 . 5/20/2008
Emma Watson said in an interview about the third movie, that it is about girl power! So making a movie about girl power means ruining the credibility of characters and turning the female character into a Mary Sue? I think for 12 years old kids, that might be girl power, but for older people that is just stupid. Is the book about girl power?
You missed a few things:
1) Kloves, please explain to me how a 14 year old bookworm girl, without physical education for at least 3 years, (Is there PE outside Quidditch?) manage to throw a stone hard enough through a small window to smash a small pot?
2) Hermiones reaction to her boggart. This is a very important scene to characterize no only her, but the complete trio, and apparently they didnt want to destroy her girl power image.
Why did he turn a Harry Potter movie into political propagation?
Leaving out stuff is ok, but completly rewriting characters is not. Sadly the Harry Potter will go into movie history as a perfect example of "How not to convert a book".
| helpmydeath chapter 1 . 5/9/2008
I can't believe I haven't read this until now! This was hilarious! The thing about werewolf-fighting ninjas just cracked me up (earning me several weird looks from my sister, who was in the room at the time)And I COMPLETELY agree with you about everything, I mean, how stupid was Herminoe in the movies? She was so annoying! I love Emma Watson and Hermione too, but still...
Great job with this hun, it's hilarious and totally true.
| dieselwriter chapter 1 . 1/23/2008
Oh my gravy Hannah, I don't think I've ever actually read this before, but great gravy if it isn't the funniest thing I've ever read! Hahahaha..."I know Ron's poor and all, but he couldn't afford two crutches when he broke his leg?" XD Oh goodness, can't breathe!
As for the multiple choice quiz...hmm... I pick B. Definitely B. Cause if Hermione can talk him down out of a werewolf frenzy (when Sirius could not, no less :P), then he can certainly learn to talk in his werewolf form.
And of course Dementors can fly. Didn't you ever wonder why their robes billow out so much? It's cause they're hiding jet packs under them. Duh.
You should write parody more often, Hannah. This was effing hilarious. And it's all true; that's what makes it awesome. Maybe we can make another list after the 6th movie...
Although, all things considered, maybe we should write it in story form. You know, the book characters making fun of the movie as they watch it. Funny stuff!
P.S.-"I wonder how much she can bench-press!" HAHAHAHAHA, oh gravy, I just died! XD