|Reviews for Windu: A Tale of Two Victors|
| Das Kasebrot chapter 1 . 4/14/2007
very nice. Loved your style and form. Keep up the good work! And may God bless you greatly!
| Elemarth chapter 1 . 1/6/2007
You are good at writing fights. TEACH ME! I can't do that to save my life!
Break up your paragraphs into smaller ones. Especially when people are talking, start a new paragraph.
Have someone read over a hard copy of your story and edit for grammer - some words sound alike and have different meanings, and the computer won't call them mispellings, ("threw" for "through", etc.) so you need a human to edit it.
| skywalker05 chapter 1 . 8/11/2006
Very interesting. Your dialogue and prose itself are quite good, as is the plot of it all-but your grammar and spelling are killing it! (Maybe I have to forgive; you do go to tech. HEE.) Look; in the first sentance, "The force: too all force sensitves it appears differently threw there mind set." You ought to capitalize 'Force' like it is in the books. "too" with two o's signifies 'also'-you want 'to'. A recurring problem that made this hard to read was your switching of words that sound the same but spelled differently mean different things (and I can't remember what that's actually called, proving the equal incompetance of BHS, or maybe just my/our attention span ); such as "threw there " instead of 'through their'. Your fight choreography IS very good, very gritty and almost more intense than the Jedi of the movies are wont to be. This whole thing fits realistically in with how Mace surely must have been and what he would have experienced. Just go through and edit for grammar.