|Reviews for Broken Spirit|
| a shadow in the dark chapter 26 . 10/31/2007
| The Queen of Confusion chapter 26 . 10/31/2007
Oh I hope Legolas and Estel will be ok!
Great chapter! Hope to see more soon!
| StrangerToTheWorld chapter 25 . 10/20/2007
YAY! More chapters! This is good. I just now got internet because of an adrenaline rush I got after finishing a really amazing book...AH! I can't hink about it or I'll never get to sleep...
anyway, hannon-le for the new chapter as you promised! Keep it up!
| The Queen of Confusion chapter 25 . 10/10/2007
It's nice to see another side of Elladan. Great chapter! Hope to see more soon!
| StrangerToTheWorld chapter 24 . 10/8/2007
Yay! New chapters!
What happened? You like, stopped updating.
Nayway great chapter as usual. Poor Legolas and Estel. This si going to sound horrible, but it was mildly amusing when Elladan was seeing double. It was sad, but he's not going to die, so it was a tiny bit amusing. Anyway, I hope the new chapters come in more regularly now. Hannon lle, mellon-nin
| The Queen of Confusion chapter 24 . 10/5/2007
Oh dear! Great chapter! I really hope to see more soon!
| Dis Thrainsdotter chapter 24 . 10/5/2007
The Orcs will get a beating when Thranduil and his warriors catch up with them. I hope Legolas and Elladan will be all right.
| a shadow in the dark chapter 23 . 9/14/2007
keep on writing. No matter what others may say it takes courage to post what is in you mind and heart and lay it bare to the world. thanks for all you stories it cheers me up when school seeks to overwelm me. keep it up
| CrazyAboutTheEldar chapter 1 . 9/5/2007
I will never understand why you get so many reviews. Your writing is not very good, the plots are not very well thought out, the characters are always out of character...
I agree with completely with Aislynn here. except about it taking weeks to get from the halls to Dol Guldur. It is approx 350 miles, or over 100 leagues. Mirkwood is 200 miles across, 400 miles long. Yet it would still take quite a bit of time to travel that far on foot, since it is doubtful horses would go that far south.
You really need to learn the language you are writing in, or you need to find better betas. Every story you write is horrible when it comes to English Grammar. And also doesn't fit in Tolkien's world at all. And someone needs to tell you that.
Edro i phairf a hain isto!
Ego! Edlethio o ndôr nîn!
Nallon an aphaded nín!
| Ninui-Ithil chapter 1 . 9/4/2007
hey, just wondering what MPA stands for... and what exactly it is... and how you nominate... and how you vote... lol
sorry to bug you, but as you are nominated for one i thought you an ideal candidate to ask...
| Aislynn Crowdaughter chapter 1 . 8/30/2007
Hi, Sivan. I finally broke down and read a chapter of your story, again, and I thought I take the opportunity to give you some concrit, for once. Here we go.
May I ask you one thing? Do you have *any* idea of the world you write in?
Let me quote some of your fic back to you.
"Iôn," Thranduil turned to his son, as he caught his attention he added, "Elrond's sons, will be here soon, so I ask you only this, and I will say to you only once… do not, and I repeat do not go to Dol Guldur. If you do, I will not be responsible for my actions, do you understand, iôn?"
Um, you *are* aware that Dol-Guldur is the residence of the Necromancer, aka Sauron, the abhorrable, in the far south of Mirkwood, and the reason why all Mirkwood is a dark, threatening place, infested by Orcs and giant spiders,
deadly to walk in, and the other name of this wood is "Taur-Nu-Fuin" (Forest of fear)? It is not just a bad neighborhood or a haunted house. The place is deadly, and tainted, and going there would just mean that Legolas got caught by the Necromancer and used against Thranduil as a pawn. So there is no reason why Legolas would even *want* to go there. Not to mention that to travel to Dol-Guldur from the halls of Thranduil in northern Mirklwood would take many weeks; it is far more that a few hundred leagues away, and as far as I know, there was no train-travel or automobiles or travel by planes in Middle Earth to cut the distance short. Nor was there any kind of beaming or other instant transportation. If you claim to write in Middle Earth, at least please be aware of the geography. There are sites like the Encyclopedia of Arda out there that can give you a decent map.
"Peredhil's come; Legolas recognized them by their giggles, as joy seemed at everywhere they were too."
You *are* aware that Thranduil's palace is not a suburban house somewhere, but set in a deep wood a, and that he lives in a *cave*? If somebody - any strangers - came to visit, that would cause far more commotions than some giggles, because they first had to convibnce the guards to open the gates for them, somebody would announce them, servant elves would hurry to prepare their guest quarters, and so on. Your chapter reads as if they were just arriving at the garden door after a pleasant walk. I wonder which universe you think you are writing in, because it certainly has nothing to do with the Middle Earth Tolkien wrote. If you are in doubt, either check the Encyclopedia of Arda for your background information, or read the books. If you wish to write about Thranduil, I would suggest you start with the "Hobbit". Then you might get an idea what - and who - you are writing about. At the moment, I fear I cannot see any evidence that you do.
While in Dol Guldur…
"What time is it?" Estel asked as he noticed the quiet that covered the area.
"The time, my little brother, is known as time for you to sleep." Elladan hinted to Estel.
See my remarks about Dol-Guldur above. One is really curious how the two sons of Elrond, Estel, and Legolas himself manage to ignore all the dark creatures around, like Orcs and Nazgul, and how they in turn manage to escape said dark creatures notice. We are not talking of an deserted hill somewhere in a park in the Neighborghood, here. We are talking about a place that had been home to Sauron, the dark enemy of Middle Earth, for nearly two thousand years and is probably as corrupted as Mordor itself (and no, Mordor is not the bad neighborhood around the corner, either).
Please do your readers the favor and try to get a knowledge of the universe you set your fanfic is. And no, it is not enough to label the story "AU". You still need to show you have a knowledge of the original universe you write your AU to (Tolkien's world, that is), and show exactly *which* things are different in your version.
Simply taking the names of Tolkien's characters and places and plastering them on some characters of your own that are set into a world that has nothing recognizable to do with Tolkien's universe anymore does not do the trick. So far, your display of ignorance of even the least real understanding of the world your story is supposed to take place in is simply annoying.
Okay, I stop ranting now. But I had to say this, at least one time.
| The Queen of Confusion chapter 23 . 8/27/2007
Great chapter! Hope to see more soon!
| StrangerToTheWorld chapter 23 . 8/25/2007
creepy birds! I love birds but they can be really creepy when they want to.
Poor Estel, I hope he is alright.
A good chapter, another one with a little less angst, but we need a break after the first several chapters.
Update again soon, mellon-nin.
| The Queen of Confusion chapter 22 . 8/24/2007
Great chapter! Hope to see more soon!
| ArodieltheElfofRohan chapter 22 . 8/20/2007
Someone needs to save Estel, and quick! Update soon, mellon nin. :) Arodiel