Reviews for Control
cookies5529 chapter 1 . 7/6/2012
But...but what happens? Gah! Don't just end it. Nooo!
Yoko-li chapter 6 . 12/27/2009
Hello, I would like to start off by saying that I enjoyed what you have written so far. I know that it is nice to heat that people are reading your stories, so I decided to leave a comment! I would also like to give you a bit of negative feed back. I am not to big of a grammar junkie (meaning that everything must be perfect) but I would like to mention a few pet peeves that I notices throughout your story. You tend to use some vague pronouns, which make the story a little confusing (ex. Kneeling down beside him, he started to rub soothing circles on his back. He had started to calm down after a few long minutes when he suddenly tensed and turned to face him, eyes wild in panic. Standing as fast as he could, he tried to push Doumeki out of his way to the door.) I understood what you where trying to say, but it interrupted the flow of your story with your vague pronoun use. (I hope that made sense... if I’m confusing you I’m sorry...) Also you have some weird typos. (Ex. “You mean obviously I don't /I feel the same?”) You made that same typo like three times in this story. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but it was there... That was all I saw though... and I’m not doing this to be mean; I’m hoping that this will be constructive criticism to help you grow. I also hope that this does not make you upset, because that is not my intention at all. I understand that you had not beta and that it was probably like 4 in the morning when you wrote your stories... I was just hoping to help you out, so please take this as a helpful peer edit or something. I would like to end this on a better note, and tell you things that I enjoyed about this story. I have only read up to volume 4 or 5 in Hollic so I probably should have been very confused, but I was not. Even though you mentioned things from other volumes, the fact that I was not there yet did not matter. You did not center your ideas on the spoilers, they where more like things to keep the story going, and not having read that far (yet) I was still able to enjoy your story. Also I like the length of your chapters. I am not a fan of long chapters because I get lost in words, and feel like I'm drowning, so don’t think that your chapters need to be any longer. And I like your overall story. I totally think that Watanuki and Doumeki are gay for each other, just like Fai and Kurogane! (I'm a big CLAMP fan and I have every volume of Tsubasa, and will own all of Hollic by November 2010!)

Um if you have any questions or want to contact me about anything I have said here you can message me, I did not log in because I did not feel like it (and I didn’t think I was going to rant like this.) But my username is yokocho. The best way to contact me though would be e-mail, because I am not on fanfic much, so try .

I hope I have not inconvenienced you by my long message, and I hope to read the end of your fic soon! Have a wonderful life!

Yokocho
Inuyasha.SIT chapter 6 . 8/15/2008
I just found this story, so I have not had to wait for anything, but I'm sure your original readers are dying for chapter 7, seeing as it has been much, much more than three weeks. Please continue this! It really is good.
Arrow.Aero.Air chapter 6 . 7/22/2008
great story! it has a wonderful plot! Hope to see more, thats why im story alerting it, dont let me down now!
GoldenSnowfire chapter 6 . 5/31/2008
aw, so sad! you must update!
pockylover123 chapter 6 . 12/29/2007
please post the next chapter! this is one of my favorite xholic fanfics and i NEED to know what's gonna happen
TheLadyPendragon chapter 6 . 11/18/2007
come on, its been over a year! update soon!1 ;p
Valirco chapter 6 . 10/28/2007
WHHE!
Library Drone SAR chapter 6 . 10/20/2007
It's a really good story. Have you abandoned it? That would be a shame.
Zafiro Okami chapter 6 . 8/18/2007
. I wish you would continue.
Mikky-mail chapter 6 . 3/25/2007
OmG... This story is so beautiful! i love this pairing!
SoraSakura chapter 6 . 1/5/2007
Aws, poor watanuki. ._.
JazzyKnickers chapter 6 . 11/9/2006
teh Os! Watanuki's all freaked out. Poor boy. Doumeki's there to huggle the pains away though.

Luffing muchly!
liar-just-a-liar chapter 6 . 10/26/2006
Wah , I really , really like this story hope that they'll be happy
RinsDarkMagician chapter 6 . 10/20/2006
aw. poor watanuki and doumeki. he just doesnt want doumeki to get hurt. poor thing. its so sweet. i love it. you should update as soon as possible. that would be great. and dont worry about the chapter length. i write stories with short chapters too. its easier to read of everything isnt bunched up in a long freakin' takes forever and a day to read chapter. your chapters are perfect and so is this story. update when you can. i love it.
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