|Reviews for Keitaro Almighty|
| New Universe Returns chapter 1 . 5/13
Is there any chance you might continue this?
| Mystic 6 tailed Naruto chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
(laughs) Keitaro with god's power! Awesome!
| tomdj1701 chapter 1 . 1/23/2007
| Overdrive1 chapter 1 . 8/28/2006
It's the story I've been waiting for... besides a fanfiction using some Taladegga Nights, Elements... Finally Keitaro gets at least a few things to go his way. I wonder how things will turn out in later chapters, but anyway I hope you can update soon.
I tend to picture GOD as a divine being, no gender, but will kick anyones -, if necessary... like what God does in the bible, just with a little Heaven to Earth support.
| fatyao chapter 1 . 8/27/2006
Good idea and all. It's pretty funny in some parts.
But like some people, your writing style is way too simple. They all sound like robots or something. You should make it more...well real...
You also need to improve your descriptions. They're too plain and boring and short. It seems like you're just rushing
You don't have to have 100 percent perfect textbook grammar. That just makes it emotionless.
Also try to keep in character. Most of the stuff that the characters say are very very very very OOC. Also try to make the dialogue in a way that most normal people speak in. like use '. They're instead of they are. or I'll instead I will.
I can tell you don't like Naru by the way you write. I just like to say she isn't even near what you depict, but hey, it's your fic.
You still have a good idea and all, so good luck.
| The Time Traveler chapter 1 . 8/21/2006
(sigh) Looks like someone beat me to making a "Keitaro Almighty" fanfic. I had different prospect in mind but this one is not too bad either.
Guess I can't work on it anymore, oh well, win some lose some. Anyway, good luck on this one.
| A.H.Faleaux chapter 1 . 8/18/2006
good concept but you gotta be a little more descriptive and seperate those times when their talking and when their not.
| DancingBrain chapter 1 . 8/18/2006
Well, the premise is interesting, and some of the jokes are pretty good.
Your writing style, however, need work.
A hell of a lot of it.
For starters, you forgot to put quotation marks whenever someone speaks.
Next, there's the dialogues. They are not very natural, at all. Think about it.
Would anyone in Love Hina speak like that?
Hell, would you speak like that?
A lot of them are better when left as thoughts, or humorous monologues.
The way you write them makes it seem like a lot of the characters are just rambling and gives me the impression that this thing is really, really rushed.
That ain't good.
On a more positive note, like I said before, the premise is interesting, and some of the jokes are truly funny.
Think of it as you having a piece of pure gold in your hands that is being shaped into a toilet seat. You need to change that toilet seat into a throne, buddy.
Well, I'll be around. Contact me if you need help refining this thing. I'd be happy to proofread.
| kDanthe chapter 1 . 8/17/2006
Sounds good... I'd like to hear more..
| NefCanuck chapter 1 . 8/16/2006
Okay interesting premise, but just as an aside, even Naru the psycho would eventually get a clue if she kept getting creamed every time she attacked Keitaro (at least I hope so)
| Wizard Of Amor chapter 1 . 8/16/2006
Very fresh. i have not read a story where Kietaro has the power. from now on everyone must do his bidding. maybe even change all the girls to be his dream girl. can't wait.
| Nysk chapter 1 . 8/15/2006
Intersting start.. and it should be obvious that he knows what this power is now.
I look forward to the zaniness
| theclerk2 chapter 1 . 8/15/2006
I like this story, though you should try and make Keitaro do really crazy stuff like in the movie, that would be awsome.
| Elite Hunter 02 chapter 1 . 8/15/2006
Definitely continue this fic. You don't see ones like this very often. Keep it up!
| meirus chapter 1 . 8/15/2006
Good idea and all, but you need to work on the way the characters talk. for example,
“Damn it Su! I am not deaf but you keep this up I will go deaf.”
that could be changed to something simple like "Damn it Su!If you keep this up, i'm gonna go deaf!" the "I am not deaf" part was't necessary at all, see?
All in all, you have the ability to do great if you fix that one flaw.