|Reviews for The Road|
| Admirer chapter 1 . 12/22/2012
Thank you. thank you so much for writing this heart-wrenching piece. the interaction between these two is what makes my world light up, as of the moment. And you've just made the light brighter.
| Yuna141 chapter 1 . 6/15/2008
YES! I finally found a story that deals with this last conversation! This one's old, but I'm sure glad I found it :P
I'm really surprised that I see so few references to this final conversation between Ed and Roy. Like you, I thought it was one of the most powerful scenes, too, yet no one seems to pick up on it.
I really, REALLY liked this line:
"They paid for nothing, for no damn reason at all, and – look, Mom! – got nothing of it."
So intensely ironic and bittersweet.
I really think you should go back and revise this - not in a this-needs-revising sort of way but in a make-something-that's-already-really-darn-good-into-something-fantastic sort of way.
Couple things I would change:
I would really like to see a description of the setting sun somewhere in there; it's such an apt (and subtle) metaphor for the ending of childhood and innocence, and really helps characterize the scene. It also colors the scene, so instead of just black and white text you see oranges and yellows and reds.
“Even if our eyes are closed, there’s a whole world out there. One that lives outside ourselves and our dreams.”
This is one of the most important lines, would you agree? I think it should be set off apart from any text or description - the text you have after it seems more like analysis you would see in an essay for English class, which detracts from the impact of that line. I would try to work in that text beforehand, and then finish that quote with a break, making that ending bit a separate section.
For the last couple sentences, I would add some punctuation and spacing:
"Maybe it was the right thing to do, in some twisted way. It sure didn’t feel like it.
I want to become Fuhrer.
I want to bring my brother’s body back.
That was what they really wanted.
That last short "cue sidestep" was a little bit jarring without a setup of other short sentences - it brings attention to itself when it really shouldn't. I also added some spaces between the lines so each individual sentence is more emphasized.
Again, these are just things I would change, but it's your story, so do what you like.
Oh man, I love this so much and I have a lot more to say, but I don't want to seem too revisionist, and I don't want to nitpick over something that's so old and that you probably don't care a whole lot about.
Anyway, thanks for brightening my day.
| smokingace chapter 1 . 10/19/2007
OMG. i loved this. i seriously loved it. the way you wrote it, the behind-the-scenes...or behind-the-words, rather... i'm just gaping. it was so gutwrenching! i don't know if that's a normal emotion that should come with this fic...but, wow...
and it's like...the only reprieve you get is when you finish it, because you know that they're going to meet again in the movie...
*facepalm* i really admire this.
apart from that...in response to your pm to me about hohenheim and ed not being able to hate him in clover post... that's the thing. i was thinking about how ed would REALLY feel toward him, and after all the inner turmoil and hurt and regrets and experiences, i think ed would have felt thankful...thankful enough to forgive hohopapa to some degree. XD even if he never wanted his father to sacrifice himself, he still is just so very happy to have al now. . and ed just had to finally grow up and become more accepting. haha. well, sorta.
| Griselda Banks chapter 1 . 2/12/2007
If the scene in the anime was powerful, you've only made it more so with this fic. I think you've captured the course of Ed's thoughts; the things he says flow logically from his thoughts. And it made me realize just how much of a hero he is; he gave up his greatest dreams and desires to save the human race! Still, that makes me like the ending to the anime even less. He gave up so much, but he still couldn't be left at peace with his brother. No, of course not; the story had to drag on through a movie that failed to bring everything to a satisfactory close *gusty sigh*
Anyway, I really like how you've done this fic. It makes me want to watch this scene over again, but sadly I don't have the DVD. Oh well. Keep writing _
| Windy Day chapter 1 . 8/21/2006
Really good take on the last meeting of Roy and Ed in the anime. Keep writing.
| Bay City Kitty chapter 1 . 8/20/2006
This is a really beautifully written story. And the philosophies! It's an incredible piece of writing and I think you ought to carry on, because there is clear talent in your style and your storytelling.
| Danielle Anderson chapter 1 . 8/18/2006
I haven't watched the last episodes yet but I like the way you brought out their emotions. Yes, this scene does seem to be very powerful indeed in the anime. I was wondering if these are the exact dialogues. If they are, may I use them for a fic that I am writing, please?
| Sera and Tails chapter 1 . 8/17/2006
"...childhood passing away like a dying mother" That bit stood out to me.
I really enjoyed this one shot and I agree, this scene was one of the most powerful of the series. I had always enjoyed Ed's "the desire for that power lurks somewhere in all of us" speech, especially when Vic does the voice. Its one of those moments you never forget.
You've written this piece in a very mature and poignant way and I'm glad I took the chance to read it. The only concrit I have for you: In my opinion, the last sentence seemed a little redundant. ("That was the last meeting...") Without it, it would've been perfect.
Tails, of Sera and Tails
| ShadedRogue chapter 1 . 8/16/2006
Quite beautiful, I really enjoyed it.
| SpaceRoses chapter 1 . 8/15/2006
Really good adaption of on of the most powerful scenes in the whole anime. That was the scene were I became convinced that Ed and Roy reached some level of understading with each other and that Roy stopped treating Ed like he was a small boy. Great job on this and you really brought the emontions out! Great job!