|Reviews for Whitewater|
| Guest chapter 5 . 4/8/2014
Fuck i almost cried at that "we are one" part! I love how they see each other as a family!
| Haebris chapter 10 . 4/2/2014
This chapter made me laugh out loud on several occasions; childish behavior is so underrated.
| TrisakAminawn chapter 31 . 12/9/2013
Really? So when people you care about die, you honestly wish you'd never known them? Poof, nothing, pain makes relationship not worth the having? Considering the pro-emotional-bond tenor of a lot of these shorts, that's Calvinist level mindscrew there, friend.
| TrisakAminawn chapter 11 . 12/7/2013
Well, given the whole *idea* of the Doom Patrol was that they were a group of heroes too weird and creepy for anyone else to accept them, Mento having a problem with his ward's claws is a little odd. But not totally out of the question, I guess.
A lot of these are really adorable.
| undoingtech chapter 20 . 9/1/2013
All He Wants: Once again, I feel conflicted about the ending. The story itself is well written and very clever, but I cannot seem to wrap my head around the ending. Hmm... It might have something to do with Raven having a toy at all. The fact that it is BB is fine, and, honestly, I would expect Raven to have a voodoo doll of BB. The fact that it is a toy sort of disturbs me. Why did Raven keep it? Oh well. Nicely done! :)
Vices and Virtues: Thank you for continuing the BB tea something stories. :)
Worried About You: The emotions and tones from this story leap off the page. This might be because I have already read your long story about this, but that does not make this moment any less intense. In fact, it makes this scene even more sad, and in the future, regret worthy.
I am really surprised about how you portray BB's character. Most people would not think of his problems with being animal-ish, I suppose. In fact, in most other fanfiction that I have read, BB is portrayed as pushing his inner (emotional) problems down with all his might and acting like a clown to cover it up. Needless to say, I am sooo glad that you chose to portray him differently. It is refreshing.
I just need to emphasize again how much I like this story. I like this story. There.
I am going to take a break from reading these stories. I like them, but they are so short and so many that they wear out on me. I will read a nice, loooooooong story, then come back.
Thanks for now!
| undoingtech chapter 19 . 9/1/2013
The Great Outdoors, Part I: I get the feeling that you do not like Robin that much. Having Kid Flash and Jinx in charge of their tower is not a good idea for him. Any other titan would have been fine! Other than that, I liked the little story. Same family annoying each other, just with a different setting.
I really hope I see more of this story, especially since it has Part 1 in the title.
Sorry I did not review the other stories. I tend to not review stories that do not get a reaction out of me. I am mildly indifferent to the other stories in this chapter.
| undoingtech chapter 18 . 9/1/2013
If Wishes Were Fishes We'd Walk On The Sea: That was cute. I think that if you had put a different continuity on it, the story could have been sad, hopeful, remorseful, whatever. I wish you had shown what Raven and Cyborg's wishes were. This story is just so open-ended. You could write this one ten times in ten different ways!
Happy Robin's Day!: Doing Robin's Day on Father's Day does not make sense. There is a great difference between a leader, a father, and a friend, and I could write so much about that that I am not going to write anything about it at all.
I like the idea of the titans making a special day for Robin. That is nice.
NITPICK Why did they have to be in his room? Even worse, without him knowing! This is the kind of event that would scar Robin for life!
Bible Belt: This presents an interesting point that is mostly absent from the TV series: religion and acceptance. Once again, I do wish that the story was longer, had a plot, and showed more in depth how the titans are affected by somewhat hostile or un-accepting surroundings. Emphasize the "somewhat" part of that. Still, this was a very nice short story.
Not-So-Subtle Love Songs: I actually feel conflicted about this one. I do not know much about partying, despite being in college. However, I do not know how Raven and BB could throw a party with one two people. And NO! Romance hardly works with these two characters! It takes a whole lot of work to make romance work here. I digress. Anyway, I like that despite them being bored and getting on each other's nerves probably, they still have that understanding and care for each other. You always show it in the simplest ways, and it always works!
NITPICK: I cannot imagine BB singing. Ever.
| undoingtech chapter 17 . 9/1/2013
Save Them All: Holy Crap! That was harsh. And painfully realistic. And so, soo sad. I feel bad just for reading that. Simple and emotional. Well done.
Your writing style is ever wonderful.
Kunguru: This is so damn well put together. Your stories almost always are, but this one makes me happy from sheer quality.
I hate it when guys get all emotional and braggy about their cars. That said, I do not mind this at all. This fits well with the characters and the overall story of the TV series.
I also find it soooo difficult to read romances, especially with Teen Titans. I liked the implication at the end, though. :)
| undoingtech chapter 16 . 9/1/2013
Unthinking: Yes, I agree that some comments can really get to people. I also liked how you showed this a bit with a few different characters. However, I think you showed this the best in One Which Makes The Heart Run Over.
Generation Gap: I am not sure if the title fits for this one or not. I understand how Robin feels about his team knowing war. I do not understand the generation gap thing. The story was too vague for me to get a solid message out of it.
Blue Suede Shoes: Fun times. :) Your mother is gutsy.
Safety in Numbers: Damn. This ties really well into your long story. I am in college now, in a not-so-good neighborhood. I must say that there is definitely safety in numbers. This short story shows that very well, as well as showing how much the titans care for each other. I really liked this one. Well done.
| undoingtech chapter 15 . 9/1/2013
Spring Cleaning Time: I know you like Peter Pan. I would just like to ask for content other than you liking Peter Pan.
Keep Your Promises: Yes! Continuity of ideas! Hooray! The dialogue was simple yet effective. I, once again, am having a hard time describing how much I like this story. I can, however, describe why I like it, if I may go off on a tangent.
Avatar the Last Airbender had so many characters that made second appearances. The fact that I could recognize minor characters from previous episodes was amazing, partially because I never saw that happen in any other cartoon. That is what you have done. You have connected your short stories together, and it is the connection that makes me happy and excited. One thousand smiley faces! :)
Children's Logic: THAT WAS HILARIOUS! And just like Keep Your Promises, it referred to a previous story, and you know how happy that makes me! A MILLION SMILEY FACES! :)
Hook: THAT WAS HILARIOUS! AGAIN! You really know humor. I am not sure why you even wrote them as separate stories. Oh well. This is something that would justify Robin making the other titans sleep outside. Not caroling. :)
The Peter Pan Rant: I know you love Peter Pan. This story did not do much for me because of my lack of interest. It was a rant. That is ok. Nice ending, maybe? I am not sure.
Raven Crusoe: This one does not do much for me, but I appreciate the continuity! :)
Have At Thee!: Again, I appreciate the continuity with The Peter Pan Rant as well as Keep Your Promises. :)
Clap Your Hands: Well done. You know how to write comedy, and you know it. You do not need me to tell you. :)
| undoingtech chapter 14 . 8/31/2013
Sanity is a Relative Thing: This is good stuff. This is the kind of stuff that I wish had been integrated well into a long story. This could be the content for a story: uncertainty. Even more, overcoming the uncertainty. And it would work for any combination of characters! You understand the characters so well and you put them in a short story! WWWHHHHYYY?!
You frustrate me. I have read One Which Makes The Heart Run Over. I may have reviewed it, but I do not remember. I think you have the potential to write an absolutely fantastic story for Teen Titans, other than One Which Makes The Heart Run Over. That one was dominated by BB and Raven, and it had too much mind-jumping for me. But I still believe in you.
The Red Cars Go Faster: Again, the humor amazes me. It is simple, and it makes me understand how Cyborg feels about the patrols. :)
I do not think I have ever liked to many stories with so little content.
Moving Day: Simple Plan. :) Simple Plan was the first band that I can remember listening to on purpose. Around age 12 or 13. Needless to say, it has affected my taste in music to this day.
NITPICK: Why are they moving? Why were they in an apartment? I do not get it.
I suppose the Spackle thing was supposed to be funny. BB being better than Raven at random tasks does not count as humorous to me. Oh well.
| undoingtech chapter 13 . 8/31/2013
Seagulls: I did not understand at all. The story was very soothing, but I have no idea what Robin did. I think I have forgotten something...
Makeshift: Sad. Cold. Realistic. I suppose their pathetic decoration of a tree was the best that they could do, which just makes it more sad. :(
I am a having a ball reading these stories! I really enjoy your writing! Many of your stories are not that good (in terms of content), but the diversity and creativity makes reading this fun for me.
| undoingtech chapter 12 . 8/31/2013
Dare: That was hilarious. Where were they exactly? Oh well. You definitely know how to write comedy! :)
(By the way, anytime that a story makes me smile, I will put a smiley in the review.)
Caroling: "Blackmail". Simple. Understood. :) Slamming the door in their faces is ok. Making them sleep outside was harsh. NITPICK! A little too harsh. It has to be cold outside! Why did Raven not teleport inside?
I do believe in fairies: "It was ador-infuriating. It was infuriating." :) Nice comedy. I have never watched Peter Pan before. I have watched parts, and I guess it was not interesting enough to hold my interest.
At first, I thought they were going to the north pole to find Santa. Trying to find Peter Pan is much better.
| undoingtech chapter 11 . 8/31/2013
Home for the Holidays: This is ingenious! Going back to the apartment really makes one think about how much they have changed, and the changes show! Particularly with them cuddling. The apartment that you have created is just the perfect setting.
I also liked that you did not define home as a place. I also believe this; I think of home as a state of mind. Your definition seems to be something like that. Very nice. :)
NITPICK: The biggest problem I have with this is that it was confusing in the beginning. It was difficult for me to keep track of who was talking. I had to reread over the part where they were going into the bedroom because I thought BB had said "as well". That just did not fit.
Even though that part was confusing, I was able to figure it out because you write the characters so well. Kudos!
Happy Hallowe'en: This made me smile. Thank you. :)
Christmas Morning: Wow. This is an incredibly well written short story. There is not much of a big picture other than "it is Christmas". All of the little details in this story combine to create a great picture of the titans' Christmas.
I am really surprised that I like this so much. It has no action. There is no character development nor is there much character emphasis. THERE IS NO PLOT! You just made a picture of the titans as a family on Christmas so well, and it makes me so happy! :) :) :)
| undoingtech chapter 10 . 8/31/2013
This is so overdone but still very creative. I wonder if this was created on a bet to see how many you could come up with.
Continuing to make more and more restrictions to BB has lost its humor to me. Still, I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy reading this. Sheer creativity makes me happy. :)
I wish that some of the stories between the restrictions were longer. It would definitely have added some substance to this craziness. I realize that doing so would have made this chapter much longer, but I still wish.