|Reviews for Whitewater|
| undoingtech chapter 18 . 9/1/2013
If Wishes Were Fishes We'd Walk On The Sea: That was cute. I think that if you had put a different continuity on it, the story could have been sad, hopeful, remorseful, whatever. I wish you had shown what Raven and Cyborg's wishes were. This story is just so open-ended. You could write this one ten times in ten different ways!
Happy Robin's Day!: Doing Robin's Day on Father's Day does not make sense. There is a great difference between a leader, a father, and a friend, and I could write so much about that that I am not going to write anything about it at all.
I like the idea of the titans making a special day for Robin. That is nice.
NITPICK Why did they have to be in his room? Even worse, without him knowing! This is the kind of event that would scar Robin for life!
Bible Belt: This presents an interesting point that is mostly absent from the TV series: religion and acceptance. Once again, I do wish that the story was longer, had a plot, and showed more in depth how the titans are affected by somewhat hostile or un-accepting surroundings. Emphasize the "somewhat" part of that. Still, this was a very nice short story.
Not-So-Subtle Love Songs: I actually feel conflicted about this one. I do not know much about partying, despite being in college. However, I do not know how Raven and BB could throw a party with one two people. And NO! Romance hardly works with these two characters! It takes a whole lot of work to make romance work here. I digress. Anyway, I like that despite them being bored and getting on each other's nerves probably, they still have that understanding and care for each other. You always show it in the simplest ways, and it always works!
NITPICK: I cannot imagine BB singing. Ever.
| undoingtech chapter 17 . 9/1/2013
Save Them All: Holy Crap! That was harsh. And painfully realistic. And so, soo sad. I feel bad just for reading that. Simple and emotional. Well done.
Your writing style is ever wonderful.
Kunguru: This is so damn well put together. Your stories almost always are, but this one makes me happy from sheer quality.
I hate it when guys get all emotional and braggy about their cars. That said, I do not mind this at all. This fits well with the characters and the overall story of the TV series.
I also find it soooo difficult to read romances, especially with Teen Titans. I liked the implication at the end, though. :)
| undoingtech chapter 16 . 9/1/2013
Unthinking: Yes, I agree that some comments can really get to people. I also liked how you showed this a bit with a few different characters. However, I think you showed this the best in One Which Makes The Heart Run Over.
Generation Gap: I am not sure if the title fits for this one or not. I understand how Robin feels about his team knowing war. I do not understand the generation gap thing. The story was too vague for me to get a solid message out of it.
Blue Suede Shoes: Fun times. :) Your mother is gutsy.
Safety in Numbers: Damn. This ties really well into your long story. I am in college now, in a not-so-good neighborhood. I must say that there is definitely safety in numbers. This short story shows that very well, as well as showing how much the titans care for each other. I really liked this one. Well done.
| undoingtech chapter 15 . 9/1/2013
Spring Cleaning Time: I know you like Peter Pan. I would just like to ask for content other than you liking Peter Pan.
Keep Your Promises: Yes! Continuity of ideas! Hooray! The dialogue was simple yet effective. I, once again, am having a hard time describing how much I like this story. I can, however, describe why I like it, if I may go off on a tangent.
Avatar the Last Airbender had so many characters that made second appearances. The fact that I could recognize minor characters from previous episodes was amazing, partially because I never saw that happen in any other cartoon. That is what you have done. You have connected your short stories together, and it is the connection that makes me happy and excited. One thousand smiley faces! :)
Children's Logic: THAT WAS HILARIOUS! And just like Keep Your Promises, it referred to a previous story, and you know how happy that makes me! A MILLION SMILEY FACES! :)
Hook: THAT WAS HILARIOUS! AGAIN! You really know humor. I am not sure why you even wrote them as separate stories. Oh well. This is something that would justify Robin making the other titans sleep outside. Not caroling. :)
The Peter Pan Rant: I know you love Peter Pan. This story did not do much for me because of my lack of interest. It was a rant. That is ok. Nice ending, maybe? I am not sure.
Raven Crusoe: This one does not do much for me, but I appreciate the continuity! :)
Have At Thee!: Again, I appreciate the continuity with The Peter Pan Rant as well as Keep Your Promises. :)
Clap Your Hands: Well done. You know how to write comedy, and you know it. You do not need me to tell you. :)
| undoingtech chapter 14 . 8/31/2013
Sanity is a Relative Thing: This is good stuff. This is the kind of stuff that I wish had been integrated well into a long story. This could be the content for a story: uncertainty. Even more, overcoming the uncertainty. And it would work for any combination of characters! You understand the characters so well and you put them in a short story! WWWHHHHYYY?!
You frustrate me. I have read One Which Makes The Heart Run Over. I may have reviewed it, but I do not remember. I think you have the potential to write an absolutely fantastic story for Teen Titans, other than One Which Makes The Heart Run Over. That one was dominated by BB and Raven, and it had too much mind-jumping for me. But I still believe in you.
The Red Cars Go Faster: Again, the humor amazes me. It is simple, and it makes me understand how Cyborg feels about the patrols. :)
I do not think I have ever liked to many stories with so little content.
Moving Day: Simple Plan. :) Simple Plan was the first band that I can remember listening to on purpose. Around age 12 or 13. Needless to say, it has affected my taste in music to this day.
NITPICK: Why are they moving? Why were they in an apartment? I do not get it.
I suppose the Spackle thing was supposed to be funny. BB being better than Raven at random tasks does not count as humorous to me. Oh well.
| undoingtech chapter 13 . 8/31/2013
Seagulls: I did not understand at all. The story was very soothing, but I have no idea what Robin did. I think I have forgotten something...
Makeshift: Sad. Cold. Realistic. I suppose their pathetic decoration of a tree was the best that they could do, which just makes it more sad. :(
I am a having a ball reading these stories! I really enjoy your writing! Many of your stories are not that good (in terms of content), but the diversity and creativity makes reading this fun for me.
| undoingtech chapter 12 . 8/31/2013
Dare: That was hilarious. Where were they exactly? Oh well. You definitely know how to write comedy! :)
(By the way, anytime that a story makes me smile, I will put a smiley in the review.)
Caroling: "Blackmail". Simple. Understood. :) Slamming the door in their faces is ok. Making them sleep outside was harsh. NITPICK! A little too harsh. It has to be cold outside! Why did Raven not teleport inside?
I do believe in fairies: "It was ador-infuriating. It was infuriating." :) Nice comedy. I have never watched Peter Pan before. I have watched parts, and I guess it was not interesting enough to hold my interest.
At first, I thought they were going to the north pole to find Santa. Trying to find Peter Pan is much better.
| undoingtech chapter 11 . 8/31/2013
Home for the Holidays: This is ingenious! Going back to the apartment really makes one think about how much they have changed, and the changes show! Particularly with them cuddling. The apartment that you have created is just the perfect setting.
I also liked that you did not define home as a place. I also believe this; I think of home as a state of mind. Your definition seems to be something like that. Very nice. :)
NITPICK: The biggest problem I have with this is that it was confusing in the beginning. It was difficult for me to keep track of who was talking. I had to reread over the part where they were going into the bedroom because I thought BB had said "as well". That just did not fit.
Even though that part was confusing, I was able to figure it out because you write the characters so well. Kudos!
Happy Hallowe'en: This made me smile. Thank you. :)
Christmas Morning: Wow. This is an incredibly well written short story. There is not much of a big picture other than "it is Christmas". All of the little details in this story combine to create a great picture of the titans' Christmas.
I am really surprised that I like this so much. It has no action. There is no character development nor is there much character emphasis. THERE IS NO PLOT! You just made a picture of the titans as a family on Christmas so well, and it makes me so happy! :) :) :)
| undoingtech chapter 10 . 8/31/2013
This is so overdone but still very creative. I wonder if this was created on a bet to see how many you could come up with.
Continuing to make more and more restrictions to BB has lost its humor to me. Still, I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy reading this. Sheer creativity makes me happy. :)
I wish that some of the stories between the restrictions were longer. It would definitely have added some substance to this craziness. I realize that doing so would have made this chapter much longer, but I still wish.
| undoingtech chapter 9 . 8/31/2013
The Catnip Incident: Very humorous and yet serious at the same time. Well done. I think it took a little too long to get to the juicy content. NITPICK I liked it.
Catharsis: I do not know what catharsis means. This is a very well put together short story. Well written, too. It is not ingenious nor is it bad. It simply has a higher quality than many of the other stories do. I suppose that your understanding of the titans really shows here. It has shown in many other stories of yours as well, but this one is so calm, yet intense almost. This one has character interaction. While many other stories of yours showed your understanding of the titans, I am not sure I remember one that had character interaction. Anyway, well done!
Catalyst: Geez Robin is paranoid. The moment he was throwing away his own belongings should have been emphasized a little more in my opinion. Even so, this shows a great transition that never happened on the TV screen. This is yet another moment that I wish had been in the TV series. Awesome! Even more awesome and disturbing at the same time is that Robin felt good after giving in to his paranoia. It is disturbing, but necessary for the transition. Very well written. :)
Promises: Darn your stories that fit so well into the titans universe! Even though this fits well, I do not see it happening, ever. I am not sure why. I can relate to BB because I too take promises very seriously. I do not know what thermals are, so I am not sure whether or not riding them would qualify well as keeping BB 'young'.
I suppose this story should make me feel sad, but it does not. It does make me mildly confused. I just do not understand this story well other than BB's sadness and regret. Actually, I think the emotion that was conveyed the best was determination.
I suppose the reason why I do not see this ever happening in the titans universe is because I do not know what thermals are. BB seems determined to ride the thermals and not grow up, but I do not know what that is or if it works. Sorry about that.
Sorry my review became a little... hectic at the end. When I am confused by something, it is soooo much harder to review. Nonetheless, I shall read more!
| undoingtech chapter 8 . 8/31/2013
Beacon: Sad. Just sad.
Death and Endings: These convinced me that BB has a problem. Also, I do not think that Cyborg would randomly bring death up; there must have been a cause.
Ghost: Also sad. And ironic. The poor guy destined to be a superhero was stealing.
Holiday: Yay! Something other than the catnip came back! I really liked Holiday, but I am unsure why. It seems realistic. No action, not much dialogue. Not much of anything really. I suppose it must be because of Refuge. Perhaps I like it because it shows that Raven genuinely cares about BB's well-being in a way that the TV show did not. That must be it. Good job!
Kindness: This is also a sad one to me. It is logical that Raven would seek a place in which she does not feel creepy. While it is sad that Raven - er... Raven's behavior rather - is generally not accepted by many people. Ironically, this story made me happy because there is a place Raven can go where she feels normal. It is strange that she does not feel normal in the tower with other superheros.
Secrets: I REALLY like this one. I am not even sure that it makes sense in terms of Robin's character. I know many people label Raven as the most mysterious character, but I think it is Robin. Actually, now that I think of The Apprentice, this does make sense. "It was a thrill, wasn't it? ... You're going to keep stealing, Robin, and you're going to keep getting that thrill." It all makes sense now, but that does not make it less disturbing.
Wild: A nice addition.
I apologize for not reviewing all of them. Some of them are just too short for me to review, and some of them, I do not want to review simply because there are soooo many.
Many of these stories make me incredibly happy just because they fit well within the Teen Titans universe. I am frustrated because I cannot make very good reviews of stories/moments/raw information that are so short. I am so used to reviewing longer stories that usually have action and/or character emphasis and a select few times character development.
While some of the content in these shorts falls flat, the writing is wonderful. Your writing style, other than short, works for me. :)
| undoingtech chapter 7 . 8/31/2013
Speechless: That was a rather interesting detail to add. If this ever came up in the TV series, I did not notice it. Actually, I am not sure that I can think of a time when BB completely stopped talking because he was at a loss for words. There were times when he would not finish his thoughts, such as in Nevermore. Oh well. 'Tis a very nice detail. :)
War Games: I would not consider this a 'classic' BB and Raven moment, but it definitely is a moment for them. Having these characters think about the possibility of death is ... uh, well I am not sure. I suppose it is dark, but that is obvious. Unfortunately, there is not much emotion shown here other than a hug, and Raven's thoughts are not enough to show how this possibility of death affects or would affect her or BB. So instead of some deeply emotional conversation, I found this story to be a little bland. Darns. It is still a good topic, and I do not think it came up in the TV show. I guess that is why it is here!
| undoingtech chapter 6 . 8/31/2013
Herbal Tea: Very humorous indeed! There is not much that I can say about this one. Why did Raven have that kind of tea? Oh well. The characters are written well, as always. :)
The Beast Boy List: Sheer creativity. I love it. I actually feel for BB in this one; Raven and the other titans are kind of shooting him down. I actually believe that you could come up with 237 things to put on the list!
Homesick: This one is not very interesting to me. The ending was good. Did you really have to draw out the Rob/Star that much? Geez, implications much! Still, I have to admit that the drawn-out Rob/Star implication was funny as hell.
| undoingtech chapter 5 . 8/31/2013
We Are One: Well that was uh... different. And yes, it was cheesy, but have to admit that the song and the titans match well. Raven's line was dark yet inquisitive. Loved it.
Wish Granted: Who was BB talking to? Starfire? Terra? I really liked the wished, but I liked the comebacks for the wished even more! Clever, clever, clever.
Waking Life: I suppose it makes sense, a little. Hell, this is fanfiction. I do not know if this matches the Teen Titans universe and characters, so I will just assume that it does. I have no major problem with this one.
I really enjoy your writing. It is actually quite refreshing to read short stories since I have been reading very long ones lately. The biggest problem that I have with short stories is that they can usually only show character, rather than develop it. The other problem that I can think of currently is that these stories do not really connect to each other, other than they all have the teen titans in them. Oh well. Every medium has restrictions.
| undoingtech chapter 4 . 8/31/2013
009, 012, and 014 are unrealistic to me. They are all nice stories, but those three kind of don't work for me.
No typos! You have no idea how happy that makes me. :)
I think 007 and 011 were the most interesting to me. It really amazes me how much information is conveyed through these short moments. They really get the message to sick in.
007: Well done. Soooo well done. I like how you showed the similarities and the differences between the titans simply by examining their hands. I really like it, but I am unsure why. I cannot explain in any other way why this is good to me. Oh well.
011: I can totally see that happening. I actually wish that scene was in the Teen Titans TV series. The only problem I have with it is you did not explain how Raven knew Terra remembered. How does Raven know? Oh well. Even without that explanation, I would still like to have that scene in Teen Titans.