Reviews for Five Animals Play
Black Ace 0 chapter 1 . 12/25/2009
WritingRin chapter 6 . 7/1/2009
*sighs* I don't... really know what to think of this. It's left me in kind of a weird mood. In the beginning, I was surprised and slightly happy to see Naruto out and about! And could even forgive him for acting like a crazy jerk. But I got really uncomfortable when he and Tomoki started having a fight. :( That was so frustrating! xD But I like how they fixed it. And I guess I actually DO like the note that this ended on. But it still doesn't feel like they're back to being as close as before, and I guess that's why I'm not as happy as I could be xP Oh well. Yay, Naruto's free! xD
WritingRin chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
Oh my god. It's so rare that I find a story like this! And I have such a love-hate relationship with them. On the one hand, I HATE it when villains are so PESKY and refuse to STAY DEAD. You can never make any progress! :/ But on the other hand... I have to love that it's not easy, that it seems impossible, that things are just going SO HORRIBLY, and that there's no guarantees. I BELIEVE in my heart of hearts that he'll succeed in the end, but I really haven't got a CLUE how! Maybe he'll get a little help from the few people he's connected with so far Wen and those two women. Or maybe the people will jump in and be like "WTH! You freaks just came back from the dead! And don't EAT him!" All possiblities. But I really just don't KNOW anything. I like not *knowing* :) And in the first story he defeated Xaiomei so easily, so it's nice that he's being challenged.

I liked this chapter a lot. I enjoyed his civil conversation with Lin. And was wide-eyed but still enjoying it when Lin went kind of crazy. xD I'm sad that his attempt to pull off the bell didn't work, but intrigued by what Lin said about it being rooted to the earth. And I'm really tired now, so I think I'll call it a night. But I loved this story and I'll be back for more soon!
WritingRin chapter 4 . 6/30/2009
[but there was no need for any of that. There was no danger here, and in fact, his futile struggle against that arm’s grip felt like the most appropriate and natural thing in the world! “Ow!” he cried instead, “Quit it!” and the arm released.]

Aw! I love your description! It has such FEELING!

[The needles of the star-thistle grew long and brittle, yet passed effortlessly though skin and clothing...

Faces went deadly serious. This was clearly a matter for an adult, but it was always hard to call times like these to an end.]

Woah. O_O'

[“Hurry up,” Tadao urged impatiently, at which Tomoki readily complied. “We’ll really be in trouble if we’re late again; believe it!”

“What?” Tomoki’s expression blanked as he stumbled. “What did you say?”]

Lol! It jolted me too!

[Tadao gave him a brief, skeptical glance then smiled and hugged him closer. “Me too, Tom-tom,” he answered, “me too.”]

Aww T_T this is so sad!

O, boy. That was cool! I love those types of scenes-when it's a memory, but you're armed with your current knowledge. So that's it's more like a dream-y illusion. Those are fun. And you wrote it so well!

Creepy! That scene where he was 'dead' and Naruto cursed him! Creepy! *shudder* but cool too!

Wahaha! "All three, without a doubt!"

[“Yes, but that’s beside the point,” he explained and looked at her, for the first time with both eyes. “They’re mine and I want them back!”]

lol! His swords were the first thing I thought of when they said he'd been pickpocketed! (Which is not the word I'm looking for. There's a term for when you take stuff from the dead...)

[The boy leaned close to his ear and whispered intensely, “Like you’ll be in one if you don’t give me my stuff back.”]

*WHOOPS AND HOLLARS* MIGHTY FINE! I love this boy! *looks around and announces it to everyone* I LOVE THIS BOY. He is awesome! *slaps knee*

Yay! Wen is another awesome character! You have awesome characters, really really great ones! You do awesome jobs with DIALOGUE and I love your description! I'm not sure what your weakness is yet. All I have so far is praise xD
WritingRin chapter 3 . 6/30/2009
Classic. What a classic Japanese story! Demons disguising themselves and taking over a monastery. I'm flashing back to Inuyasha here :) Which isn't a bad thing! xD

And Tomoki defeated them only to have them come back! And the STUPID HUMANS showcased their STUPIDNESS. xD "He's a sorcerer he changed our beloved leaders! Don't worry! He'll die soon" WTH! *shakes them*

Just wait, Naruto, he's coming back for you soon!
WritingRin chapter 2 . 6/30/2009
[Tomoki just nodded. He couldn’t spare the energy to look, but felt Naruto’s cool, supportive hand come to rest on his shoulder.

“So what do you say?” asked the newcomer. “Do you want my help now?”]

Aw. Yay! I like Naruto's personality right there! I'm not sure it seems exactly like him. It's kind of... mature. xD But I like it!

[“Ha!” Naruto pealed victoriously. “I knew you’d come around! Now, stand back and be amazed!” His fingers came together to make the hand signs as he cried: “Shadow clone jutsu!”]

Wahaha! But that, of course, is VERY Naruto like. Even without the Kage Bushins. xD

[Though he’d seen this jutsu before it never failed to amaze, especially now when its usefulness was so obvious.]

lol! Yup, no joke!

[“Ok…here’s what you need to do…and I mean slowly and carefully…”]

Yeah, THAT must've been fun, teaching them that!

And I didn't comment on Hinata but I loved that scene! I like that she came along and I enjoyed her interaction with Tomoki, even if it WAS centered around Naruto. And I thought it was kind of nice that he was thinking to himself that she was pretty. _

Also, I like that you put in this flashback right here. It was a good time for it since you set it up in the previous chapter when he was talking to Iruka. And I really like that you gave the flashback at all for what happened right after the first story! :)

[From his albeit limited experience ‘Hi, I’m a heavily-armed ninja!’ was not something that everyone responded well to, so he decided to keep his vocation concealed for now.]

Yay for low-profiles!

[With barely a break in his stride, Tomoki stole a shovel from the side of one of the wagons, put it over his shoulder, then walked through the gates unimpeded.]

Heh heh! He's really in mission mode!

[Even those who did see him would be hard pressed to recall what he looked like if asked afterwards.]

The way a ninja SHOULD be. -_-' *thumbs up*

[Tomoki smiled bashfully. “Seriously, Madam Pakri, if you’re ever put in charge here, you certainly look the part.”

“M,” she considered, and a corner of her lips turned up. “Yes, that’s some better.”]

That was cute. _ I like them together!

[A chill fell over him just then as he felt a malevolent energy with an even more malevolent intention hover close to the edges of his senses.]

Creepy! WTH is going on? Where IS Naruto? *back to worrying, just like that!*

[“…a few who others called spiritual, but none I thought were. So you’re doing just fine, as far as I can tell.”

His remark brought the Abbot up short. “Thank you, Tomoki,” he replied in mild amazement. “That means a great deal to me.”]

That's nice _

[Lin studied his evasive expression. “Your belief must be highly priced indeed if no religion is worthy of it,” he ventured teasingly.]

Eh! That's cleverly put! I like that! xD

[You seized them yourself and put and end to her, how marvelous!” he exulted dramatically, with his arms opening wide.]

Oh that is to creepy. He's sounding way too much like a fanatic. Get out of there Tomoki, you're supposed to look for Naruto anyway! _ '

[“I hate to be the one to tell you news like this,” he began somberly, “but he is afflicted and so, regrettably, has been condemned to incarceration…beneath the great bell.”]

I GASPED! Out loud, in real life! But... I knew it was coming! And instantly, when I read it, my mind shot to everything the abbot had said about how evil affects not just one place, and understood how Naruto was a threat to them as well... So I'm not the LEAST bit surprised.

But, my god, how did they manage it? To break into Konoha and TAKE Naruto like that?

[. “That you’ve trapped my friend under this stupid bell to die of thirst, of hunger, alone in the dark…?” ]

Yay for loving his friend. Gah, I'm so worried about Naruto! *pulls hair*

ek. Tomoki is NOT handling this well!

[“Little fellow,” he announced. “You must have given up all hope of living.”]

I have such a morbid feeling right now! But I enjoyed that line for some reason xD

Oh, gosh! This is so bad! D: I have to read on and hope it gets better!
WritingRin chapter 1 . 6/30/2009
Aw, Iruka-sensei. You mean well! *love*

[The genin was about to finish off the remainder when he saw Naruto’s eyes widen slightly then return to their baseline squint. Tomoki grinned, capped the top and tossed it to the yellow-haired ninja who pretended indifference as he took a drink]

I love your description of Naruto's expressions! That wasn't just a methodical 'he did this, did that' description. It showed his personality, a lot. :D

hmm. That "confrontation" between Iruka and Tomoki was interesting! I really like the paradox it showed of how he can be a really BAD teacher in some ways, and a really GOOD one in others. :) But it showed off Tomoki too. And it's just weird to me that he can be good enough to defeat "Xaiomei"(sp?) but not so good in this story. I know part of it is just him being humble, or not wanting to admit that he's as good as he is?

Es...esmeralda? xD Hahaha. *Falls over* Sorry, you just have to excuse me while I LAUGH MY HEAD OFF. I like the thought of her having a name that doesn't fit her. But the idea of a Spanish name in a Japanese setting, and *not even* a modern Japanese setting... amuses me. xD I think it's funny!

But anyway, I like her. :3 And Tomoki's teammates! Yay!

[“Who are you calling middle-aged, you old goat!”

Ichi’s eyes widened. “A very well-kept and deceptively youthful, early middle-age, I should have said!” he amended hastily]

Lulz. xD I love that line xD

[One more thing, Ichi,” he said, a little insulted, “I’m no squirrel, so don’t take me for one.”]


[“Well, there is a theory that everyone already knows all there is to know, but it’s blocked out by the five physical senses, the distractions of the body and of the conscious mind.]

Oh that is so against my religious beliefs, man. But I think that is SUCH an awesome theory! Especially for a fantasy story. *gets excited*

A... teleportation jutsu? Cool. I like how that elevates him again, to someone with secrets (or at least secret skills xD) and potential. Well, at least in my mind xD

Kakashi's so cool sometimes. I love that guy. But I think the way Tomoki is handling this situation is a little weird. He should've gone back and told them Naruto dissappeared and convinced them that something was wrong, and given Naruto's TEAM a chance to care about that! And to help find him! It's weird that he's not doing that and setting off on his own...

[“Huh…I really thought -,” Tomoki mumbled breathlessly then, after awhile, shook with laughter. “Yeah, right!” he cried. “I mean….whew, ha-ha!"]

lol! You had me going for a second too! That's a funny joke to stick in! xD Yay for comic relief!

[He shut his eyes solemnly, hung his head, and almost immediately fell asleep amidst the votives there at the Buddha’s feet.]

Hm! That's a cool visual image to picture! :)
top chapter 6 . 5/23/2007
Your description of the setting is simply beautiful.
Falsewipe chapter 6 . 5/11/2007
so original, nice work. too bad i wasn't able to find this fic earlier. By the way, you complain that you get few review in house of reptile because i don't see you encouraging readers to make a review. thats all. I've read all your fics (except broken tool, i'm not a fan of haku, sorry)and they are all original. gud work!
haricot vert chapter 6 . 12/27/2006
Umm yeah so I was supposed to go home after doing some catch-up work at work, but I got caught up in the story and then it was about an hour or 2 later when I finished, and now thanks to you I have to walk to my car in the dark. How does that make you feel, eh?

At any rate, again, well done. The only downside was that sometimes I wasn't sure who was speaking, but that only happened rarely. Otherwise, I was sucked in by the detail and the dialogue. That bit of humor towards the end was delightful.
baldragnarok16 chapter 6 . 10/1/2006
Bravo, bravo. Another awesome chapter. I did not expect Lin to save Tomoki AND Naruto, or for Tomoki to begin to hate Naruto. I loved the final fight scenes and Tomoki's last conversation with Lin. I can't help but wonder if this is the penultimate chapter...but no matter what is its awesome.

As for the title, I'm going to guess that it refers to the three antagonists and the two main protagonists. Lin is a heron, Inukaya is a leopard, Hsien a boar, and Naruto a fox. But what of Tomoki? Is he the representation of humanity?

And I got "The Devil in Manuscript" from my local library, but due to football games, homework, street fairs, and other "fun" stuff I haven't been able to read it yet.

Again, great job Joe.

baldragnarok16 chapter 5 . 9/24/2006
I like how you were able to switch the mood between Lin and Tomoki so quickly. Also, you actually used science in your story! Not alot of people think to do that. I would love to say more, but I've got to get some sleep.

You must be a very interesting person to hold a convrsation with.

baldragnarok16 chapter 4 . 9/18/2006
You wrote some very risky stuff this chapter...both complete line breaks and dreams without indicating it before hand...not alot of people can do that. Congratulations, you just did. I still can't believe that your work is so underapprecaited, and I highly respect you for continuing to write this story despite the lack of response. I can't wait until your next chapter.

baldragnarok16 chapter 3 . 9/11/2006
Five animals makes sense now. You managed a great plot twist that was unexpected...kudos to you. And Lin reminds me somewhat of Reyson from Fire Emblem. Keep up the good work!
baldragnarok16 chapter 2 . 9/7/2006
I didn't expect this...great job on this chapter by the way. It took me about half an hour to actually read the thing! Hmm...I haven't actually seen this done yet; pat yourself on the back for creating a unique plotline (Unlike the cookie-cutter ones that somehow get hundreds, sometimes thousands of reviews).
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