|Reviews for Indecent Attraction|
| James Birdsong chapter 1 . 8/10/2012
| Churnok chapter 1 . 1/5/2009
You indicate that you want time to pass between the time Ila decides to get a drink and her knocking on the lid of the garbage bin to let the moronic magician know it was safe to come out, but you forgot to say how much time, if any, actually passed. Also, how does she know which one he is hiding in? Is it one he usually hides in? Was it in view of the park so that she saw him hide in it?
A bit more detail about the characters and the surrounding environment would also be helpful. Pretend that your readers have little to no previous experience with the series and are depending on you to tell them who these characters are and what they look like.
An amusing story, it just needs to be fleashed out a bit more.
| Who knows chapter 1 . 1/18/2007
I can't stop laughing...
That was so awesome!
| Sarah8 chapter 1 . 8/24/2006
Awe very cute little story. I liked it.