Reviews for Back In Time
JustADamFrenchFry chapter 4 . 2/16/2016
Oh my gosh! Are you forgetting that Naruto didn't even start noticing Hinata, like, at all, until AFTER The Valley of The End? Also, he's hardly 13 years old in the Valley of the End and so he wouldn't even THINK of this?! Were you just feeling hormonal when you were writing this chapter? Like, I would only accept this if he had been older before being sent back in time, like 15 or older. And if the Kyuubi had constantly been triggering Naruto's hormonal glands near his genitals. Just, jeez. This wasn't going all that badly, but the lemon completely ruined it. If you like lemons so much, you should learn when and when not to put them into the plot.

Other than the lemon, this wasn't THAT bad, though it could've been better. You don't seem to grasp his situation, and just feel like adding romance to the canon of Naruto. There is hardly a change in plot other than his thoughts, and his lack of self control(though that SHOULD'VE been just a TAD better due to his fight with Sasuke in Valley of the End, so he should be able to control himself from lashing out so harshly at the girls, or participating in ANY type of romantic acts. He didn't like Hinata during Valley of the End, and he shouldn't like her now, though I can see him being a bit more observant of his classmates now that he has time traveled. Time travel, even to Naruto, is something very crucial and important, and should be thought out, even NARUTO would believe that and try to do something other than replay what he's already done, but making it worse by showing off and then losing control of his 12 YEAR OLD hormones that should hardly exist! I can see him using his jutsu in front of others without thinking, but not so drastically. Even during the Valley of the End, he had a goal, and saw to it the way he deemed fit, and he used what he had correctly, even if it resulted in his injury. *Sigh* I'm giving you the criticism you need, I'm not just badmouthing you, okay? Just take these words into consideration. "Think about your plot, research what you feel you need to make it work. Don't be afraid to use your imagination, but keep logic to add sense to the chaos of your minds creation. It's okay to write what you like, but if you want others to read it, be prepared for criticism as well as praise. You could be a very good writer if you thought it through, or read over your work before posting it." ~Kaylan Tramel

Never give up! If Naruto Uzumaki can become Hokage, you can be a good writer, Dattebayo!
Guest chapter 1 . 2/1/2015
Type your review for this chapter here...
eic trebus chapter 1 . 2/1/2015
i found a woamn to be with back in time i was in canfield high school
Guest chapter 4 . 7/17/2013
keep it just naruto and hinata
Guest chapter 3 . 7/17/2013
Guest chapter 3 . 6/28/2012
i don't mind
Adam chapter 4 . 11/13/2011
You Should Deff make it NaruxSakuxHina i love tht pairing plus the lemons for tht pairing are quite popular
bora chapter 4 . 7/12/2011
dont u dare 2 add sakura 2 a couple

naruhinasaku just doesnt work in my mind

if u want a trio try naruhinasasu thts better

cool story by the way

oh and... where is thye next chapter? O.o?

write it soon pls
bora chapter 3 . 7/12/2011
hell yea! cant wait lol sure u got more pros then cons rite?
king of evil6689 chapter 4 . 2/7/2011
have naruto get a harem bloodline
Mizuki chapter 3 . 1/24/2011
of course i want u 2 make a lemon! a really good one 2...and some other shit i wanted 2 say
Mizuki chapter 3 . 1/24/2011
of course i want u 2 make a lemon! a really good one 2...and some other shit i wanted 2 say
Mizuki chapter 4 . 1/24/2011
i loved it but I think u shoud've added more sex action 2 it
Guest chapter 4 . 10/16/2010
i think you should only have naruXhinata because if you put sakura in it it'll be to weird.
Filip chapter 3 . 9/20/2010
englis is litle bad bat I'm working on it
90 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »