|Reviews for Hero High|
| FangOfDrknss chapter 16 . 8/8/2010
I would have chosen to stay at that awesome school,I mean come on you get paid for doing homework,there's a store that has almost everything in the universe and you can go alien for training and be in the top whatever.
| FangOfDrknss chapter 15 . 8/8/2010
Man its the original series all over again...
| FangOfDrknss chapter 11 . 8/8/2010
Man this school is awesome! wish I went there.I would totally enjoy the training and studying classes they have.
| FangOfDrknss chapter 10 . 8/8/2010
What did Kevin mean it was Ben's fault? it's his fault he didn't study like Ben.
| FangOfDrknss chapter 9 . 8/8/2010
Is Kevin going to be evil again? that would be bad considering he has the Omnitrix now.
| Lord Blood chapter 17 . 4/5/2010
this is an american cartoon. not a god damn anime. ben is supposed to get an erection. not a bloody nose. you must watch way too much anime.
this is my first 1st ben 10 story that i've ever read. and when i read stories to a new category, i'm really lax about standards. other wise, i'd flame you on your terrible grammar, spelling, and English in general. but i won't, cuz you've written a decent story, plotwise.
| Kern24 chapter 17 . 3/30/2010
This has been one of the best stories i have ever read and its stories like this that make me wish that the people who write these shows would turn to the internet for ideas because although I am extreamly excited about the new ben 10 ultimet alian series I would much rather see your vision comming to cartoonetwork well I guess that its better here online where you can put in whatever you like anyways I am so happy your making a sequle! And I offically love ren she is one of the best characters here I cant wait to see what other original characters you come up with well youve probably stopped reading or dont care by this point so im gonna stop by just saying keep it up
| NoxWillow chapter 9 . 12/22/2009
Wow, your writing has definately improved as the story has moved along, a few minor corrections could be made but other wise it's coming along great!
| NoxWillow chapter 3 . 12/21/2009
I feel like I'm doing more reviewing then reading haha
anyways more "help"
You wrote "Why was she looking at this? Gwen wondered, but then just collapsed on her bed."
The problem? "but then just collapsed on her bed"
it doesn't flow and the "just" sounds out of place. Watch out for sentences like that because they can totaly ruin a good story!
| NoxWillow chapter 2 . 12/21/2009
Okay more "help"
You wrote, “This is going to be weird,” she said to herself, knowing this was going to be worlds away from any summer school she had ever attended before, with no pun intended."
Pun? what pun? there is no pun in that sentence! you need to watch out for things like that.
Also you keep using commas in the wrong places like when you wrote “My name is, Ben Tennyson,” There sould be no comma between "my name is" and "Ben". Commas are used to separate the elements in a sentence or to indicate a significant pause. Like "He dropped the keys, picked them up and said good bye." Thats how you would properly use a comma.
Hope this helped! Sorry i'm a picky reader but if you're going to write, do it properly!
| NoxWillow chapter 1 . 12/21/2009
Your story line is fantastic but the writing not so much.
It's fast with little description and the characters reactions are not appropriate. If a mysterious watch that came from a meterorite attached itself to your wrist, one would usually panic or be at least weary. try to develope your characters mnore and add more description with flow to your story and it would be great.
Hope this helped!
| hanna chapter 17 . 11/26/2009
I made a pic of Ren, I thought her cute x)
here's the link if you're interested in seeing it :)
i973 .photobucket albums/ae215/hannaxisde/ren .jpg
just remove the spaces n.n''
| LilNeko chapter 8 . 11/1/2009
What is the "thing".
I like it so far. n_n
| LilNeko chapter 7 . 11/1/2009
aww.. poor ren. I don't like Myu shes too evil.
| LilNako chapter 6 . 11/1/2009
Love triangle. peepers, what else could u ask for. lol