Reviews for 21: Inception
Darkflame's Pyre chapter 49 . 4/24/2012
Um. Wow, okay. I like the go-back-to-the-beginning thing, but I really don't like Jeff and his thrice-damned stubborness when it comes to John... Have I said how much I adore the guy, despite his abrasiveness? Really well written!
triolet chapter 49 . 1/13/2012
Really interesting stuff. Somewhat baffling in places what with the parallels/alternative world/time changes but coherent. Perhaps a different choice of font instead of italic to differentiate between places to make it easier. A most fascinating version of John. Made Virgil and Scott pale in comparison. A very one-minded father figure too or rather business first. Alan and Gordon were also portrayed much differently to what i've seen before. I did rather like Victoria (not sure about the name or her diction mind) but found Tin Tin and Kyrano a bit too much like devices to move the others further on. Although Tin Tin was part of one of my favourite scenes where John discovers her washing. Enjoyed your use of long term injuries even during training and the mission except when the magic infirmary did seem to fix them very quickly with no recovery time. Very good use of English and scientific explanations/terminology. Perhaps a more emotional connection might have helped to make clear certain scenes. Also good choice of outside agencies to show their viewpoint but not sure about whether it was worth including Penelope in this. In all, a very good and enjoyable story and yet despite the length made me want more. Thanks.
zeilfanaat chapter 49 . 3/25/2007

I think I mentioned ominous before? Still fits the bill perfectly.

Update? Please?
Eternal Density chapter 49 . 3/25/2007
ooh, i think i'm getting it now. thanks for the addendum :D
Ms Hobgoblin chapter 49 . 3/24/2007
No !

Okay, damn, damn, damn!

You have done it again, written another awesome chapter, and now I'm much clearer as to which 'John' is which, and what is going on in both TB5 and Tracy Island...oh boy, you had better get us another one out.

I guess this is TBC...

Hob x

(Cheers wildly, and dances around the room!)
thundever1 chapter 49 . 3/24/2007
great chap, what happened to John? I hope everyone's okay?
Sam1 chapter 49 . 3/24/2007
I have to admit that this update has me totally confused but that doesn't take away from how well-written it was. John's confusion has me worried even though I did chuckle at Scott's thought about the lightning strike.

Can hardly wait to find out what you have in store for them next.
BoomerCat chapter 49 . 3/24/2007
Addendum? ADDENDUM? Seriously, Chris... Just say 'no' and start a new story.
Tikatu chapter 49 . 3/24/2007
Uh oh.

That's all there is to say.
thundever1 chapter 48 . 3/24/2007
Great chap, please let John be alright, great story, you really can't leave it there.
Tikatu chapter 48 . 3/23/2007
This is where you leave us?


Okay, okay, breathe, breathe. She's got to have another story coming. She's got to have another story!

Wonderful description of Scott's climb, the jungle around him, the sounds and smells, then how so suddenly his instincts toward danger kicked in, and he scrambles for John. Even his memory of the survival training, as off-the-cuff as it is helps us understand this character a little more.

The different wristcomm (the stolen one, I'm guessing) left as silent witness that something has happened... wonderful touch.

As for who and where in that last scene, I'd say John, in a damaged TB5, taken from one dimension and plunked into another. Five's doing again, but how and why still to be discovered.

And spring vacation is coming to an end... uh oh.

More, please?
Ms Hobgoblin chapter 48 . 3/23/2007
putting on my serious face...

What have you done? You've gone all creepy on us again!

Sent a shiver down my spine, are you sure that's the last chapter? I for one, could do with a bit more...(please!)

Wow, what a ride you've given us. THANK YOU! ;-)

Loved how you wrote this whole chapter, boy can you write well!

Looking forward to seeing more of your work, so don't keep us waiting too long, or I might have to start hasseling you!

Well done!

Hob x
Ms Hobgoblin chapter 47 . 3/23/2007
LOL, wipes tears from eyes. That was so funny, and cute!

You start the chapter all serious, but through in phrases like " use having your pants on, if your flys unzipped, gentleman." How anyone kept a straight face is beyond me!

Then the meeting progress's to our John, hence the 'flash-back'. Masterfully written, John's perseption that he would be better off with Uncle Pete, rather than his own family. Scott 'flying' around embarrassed him, and he was still so young. Being that clever is not easy for one so young.

But misreading what uncle Pete said about diapers, then going on to explaining 'how' is classic! You wrote it without it being silly, but all very serious. Bless him!

The end was also well put. John is getting his wish and going to NASA. But that 'chip' in his wrist, is that what the 'thing' stole in the last chapter?

Looking forward eagerly to the next part... :-)

Hob x
Sam1 chapter 47 . 3/22/2007
I love John as a little boy. Even better was his conversation with Pete. Imagine what Jeff would have thought had he known that John asked Pete if he wanted a little boy and was offering himself. Pretty good selling points coming from John even if he didn't normally talk to people outside of his family. Horrible to think that others thought of him as "spooky" when he's just very smart and perceptive. Bet Pete was about to bust a gut when he was being told the specifics of getting out of diapers by a boy not quite 3-years-old!

You're doing great with all of this shifting back and forth and keeping characters the way you originally started writing them. Looking forward to the next update especially with that last line. You've got me worried now.
thundever1 chapter 47 . 3/22/2007
Great chap, yay John's going to get to go to NASA, very sweet and cute flashback, also very sad, please update soon.
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