|Reviews for Muse|
| RumorUnderOath chapter 3 . 5/16/2007
WOW! very very nice! the discriptive words are enchanting! i feel shamed at my own writing! very nice i CANT WAIT to read more!
| XO'MagickMoon'OX chapter 3 . 2/25/2007
Waii! OMG that was so adorabible! xDD *insert fangirl squeal* Okay, okay... enough fangirling. *composes self* Just had to get that out of my system, you know how it is...
I really liked the beginning, the part with, "Sakaurai had not known he had grown used to the house’s musty-sweet smell until he whitewashed the walls. The maids had not known they had grown used to the dirty house..." It was like a play on the whole, "You don't know what you got til it's gone" adage. Of course, there was more to it than that, but that sort of jumped out at me.
What I mean with there was more to it than that, is that other than the little theme, then you went on about how it was easy to grow used to Gabe...that was great. Just the way it was said and the impression it gave me.
"It was so dangerous to grow used to Gabriel Merethi. One might spend a month with him, or a year, then suddenly wake to find that there were holes in the clothing, bones sticking out from the wrists and a fine layer of dust upon the skin. Like a fairytale; a princess that wakes to find a hundred years passed and cobwebs as her bedroom canopy." That was beautiful imagery, and then comparing him to a fairytale princess! xD
Again, it's amazing- the image that Kuro has built up of Gabe, the imagined poetic romance of his character... It's kind of like, well, it really emphasizes the way that dreams get dashed, the way that humans build something up in their minds, put it on a pedestal, and then when finally faced with the reality- they find that the fantasy is so much better. There are so many themes that can be drawn from this. Reality is never so sweet as the imagination. But, at the same time, fantasy doesn't have the same fullness as the real thing. All right, and now I think I'm just mindlessly rambling and it's time to move on! (I could really ramble forever...)
I really liked Kuro and Gabriel's interaction! That was so great. This whole part, from:
"Sakaurai stepped inside cautiously. He had secretly wondered what Merethi’s room was like; it was his great workshop, after all. It was where he stayed up till dawn writing his poems."
"No, not austerely. That would have implied that Merethi had willed himself to a monk’s existence. No, this room…it had nothing. It felt nothing. Merethi had not taken the simplest effort to live."
It was just as I was saying above- dashed dreams, drowned hopes, et cetera, et cetera. And the emotion! Kuro's fear, when he realized that Gabe was like a doll, something synthetic... that was wonderfully phrased. Like, "Sakaurai had once thought it resembled an archaic statue from a museum; now he found that the likeness was too much. He half-expected to find a century’s old fissure near Merethi’s eyebrow. He half-expected to find dust on his nose..." and "Any prince who came to kiss Merethi awake would bruise his lips on a cold mouth of marble and gouge out his eyes upon eyelashes of needles and pins..." and "...blinking its brass eyes and chewing its synthetic lip in a perfect imitation, but Sakaurai knew of the gears and cogwheels spinning beneath its skin..."
It was all amazing.
And then Kuro brings him back to life! It's like lovely foreshadowing... Kuro will be the one to resurrect our poor fallen angel. And it will escalate from there- it has to! They're made for each other!
"But it was not a doll. It was Gabriel Merethi, as lovely as day. His hair was still ragged, but it had bright bits of light entangled in it. His skin looked dusty, but pleasingly soft to the touch. His eyes had a brilliance to them. His mouth was like a scrap of pink satin."
Your writing has such flow, from Kuro first envisioning Gabe's workshop, to finding it nothing as he'd imagined, to his fear of seeing Gabe like a doll, a simulacrum (hey! new word! yuss!), to the way he pulled back the curtains and Gabe came alive again- to them climbing out on the roof! There is such realness and life in your work. Lo me encanta! (I can even express my awe in another language! xD)
And..oh, I found a correlation to the manga. :D
"...the buildings bear down on me as if they mean to snatch away my wings."
"Do you really have wings, sir?"
(It warmed him. If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine that he was-)
“-Flying again,” (he whispered sadly. Tears pricked at his eyes but the breeze’s gentle fingers dried them before they spilled down his cheeks.)
Gabriel! The fallen Eraser! Fallen angel... it's all so fitting. He really is like a fallen angel in this story, just as he was in the manga... again, your ability to capture the characters so well astounds me. And it's like, how... well, Kuro was Gabe's mindbreaker in the manga, right? Granted that my information is correct, it's the same thing! He rescued Gabe as a fallen Eraser, took him in and whatnot, just as here, Kuro is giving Gabe- the broken poet- back his wings. It's all brilliant.
And this part, too, was so beautiful and romantic in a way,
"...Those gold eyes would see bits of words making up his fluttering strands of dark hair. He would touch a verse outlining the contours of Sakaurai’s cheekbone and brow- rhymes in the curve of his soft eyelashes; he would taste a sonnet in the cupid’s bow of his lip..."
Their chemistry is coming alive! I see it! I sess it! :DD And the part with Gabe watching Kuro sleep...that was so cute. I cannot wait to see this story continue. Keep going! You have me enchanted, enthralled- totally hooked! (Man, I had a bit alliteration going there for a minute, and it died...TT)
And, P.S., what was that beta-ing you mentioned, hm?
| Guest chapter 2 . 2/25/2007
Oh! There was another line from the last chapter that I loved and was meaning to cite:
"Looking at him, Sakaurai began to believe the old adage that a virtuoso’s gift fed on its host’s soul."
Perfect, gorgeous. It's so very true; it probably applies to every virtuoso to some extent. :)
And as for this chapter! Oh, it was great. We got more background on Kuro this time- he's proving to be equally as interesting. He plays the violin! OH, he gets major points for that. *hugs violin* Ah, wait, there was one little typo I noticed, and feel the need to point out:
"They told him about the long hours Merethi spent shut up in his room working on is poetry." shouldn't that (is) be (his)?
But aside from that, this chapter was flawless, as your writing tends to be. The opening, describing Gabe's house- that was genius. I got such a vivid image of the house, how worn it is, but how it has the potential to be so beautiful. And there were little snatches of insight into more of Gabe's character, with the comments on how he was so thin, how he spends all of his time in his room. Really, what happened to the guy? It has to be more than just his gift feeding on his soul, yeah? Or maybe that's just it, though we are void of the details at this point in time. Hmhmhm...
And I liked the next part, with Kuro in his home-away-from-home tavern place. Such a nice place. And here we learn more about Kuro, and his dearth of money. The struggling artist type, eh? Or maybe he's not really struggling, but he can't afford shoes! I think that made it cuter at the end, where he spent all of his money on fixing up Gabe's house. xD But, anyway... *hands Kuro shoes* There! No more tattered footwear! :DD
...Okay, so it's not that simple. Wishful thinking. xD Ah, another thing I love about your writing is how you manage to worm in all of these little things, like things about the vice-mayor, and the guy who's always with a different woman, and the same goes for the beginning, when you were describing Gabe's home and worked in those nuances about his character- it's all genius, and it like...adds life to the story. It makes it feel so real. Which is another thing, as I said, that I really love about your writing.
And the end of the chapter! Where he fixed up Gabe's home! That was so great... oh, and you had me in such suspense, when Gabe came down and was observing Kuro's makeover. How will he react, what will he do, will he be happy, angry, impassive? I really had no idea, of course, I had hopes, but I didn't know what was going to happen. And then, aw, his reaction was so cute... "'Oh my,' Merethi said at last, his eyes glowing. 'Oh my.'" o Good job, Kuro!
Ah I can't wait to see what happens... how will their relationship unfold? And, argh, what happened to poor Gabe? All in good time...all in good time...
| XO'MagickMoon'OX chapter 1 . 2/25/2007
Okay! Okay! I'm reading "Muse" now, and as per usual, you have me completely enthralled. I missed reading your writing. :D And you have stolen my heart with Gabriel... oh my god, he's so gorgeous. Just the way you describe him, andandand...all right, I'll return to Gabriel after I a few words from our sponsors.
First let me say that one of the reasons I am so in love with your writing is the DEPTH you bring to the JO characters. I've said this before, but I will say it again. Argh, the JO chars had such potential in the mangas...they were so pretty and so interesting, but sadly, their characters were made very shallow. I mean, they were never delved into as much as they could have been- I'm sure you get what I'm talking about. Stupid short mangas... it was a good series, but nonetheless.
And YOU! Ah-h-h-h you bring such depth to their characters, and more! I feel like I get to know them all better through your writing than I ever did through reading the mangas- I mean, even in an AU you manage to capture their original personas perfectly. And that takes real talent, my friend. Which of course, you have in copious amounts.
Okay, so, speaking of you and your way with characters, let me rant about Gabriel now. :DD GABRIEL! Ah-h-h-h-h-h I LURVE HIM! Even past the scope of JO, he is my favorite archangel, my favorite in anything that he's used in. Like, we were watching "Constantine" the other night, and Gabriel was there...and he/she/it was SO my favorite character. Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel. And now, here, you've managed to bring him to life again, in the most wonderful of ways. He may not be an archangel or anything, but he is that selfsame Gabriel, he has the same transcendental spirit, the same beautiful mystery.
And the paragraph where he was introduced...you took my breath away yet again. One of these days you're going to kill me! Uahahah, okay, not really- but good Lord.
"Gabriel Merethi’s black woollen jacket hung on his frame too loosely. He was pale-eyed and hollow-cheeked. Pale-cheeked and hollow-eyed. His long pale untrimmed hair fell past his waist like a woman’s. Sakaurai half-expected to find things caught up in it: feathers and leaves- flower petals. Thorns. Mice with tiny noses and soft velvety ears. Bejewelled little spiders weaving translucent nets to bind back his hair. Merethi’s face was seemed to be modelled after the archaic statues that only existed in museums now- the high cheekbones, the elegantly sloping nose, the full lips. Still, there was something uncertain and tentative about his expression, as if he were a trapped bird."
*implodes* That made me melt, the part about the flower petals, the mice, the spiders- I mean, from that brilliant description, you get more that just what Gabriel looks like- you get an idea of his character, his writing. I mean, 'cause Kuro built his image of Gabriel based on his poetry, and when he looks at Gabriel finally and expects to see all of these things, you understand what sort of poetry Gabriel writes, even without ever really reading it.
And on that note, I thought it was very cute but interesting, how Gabriel is so unsure and tentative and seemingly fragile. What happened to make him like this? one has to wonder. And now, you've got me hooked...and I can't wait to see what happens between him and Kuro. Hahah...I loved this part:
"'What is it you wished to speak with me about?' Merethi asked finally in a soft voice like a musicbox tune.
/A melody like that could lull anyone to sweet dreams./ 'I…' Gone were the dramatic words. 'I…' Gone were the bright flowery syllables of praise. 'I wish to seek employment here.' The words startled him."
Yeah, startled me too! Hahaha, it was just so...random, but fit so nicely. I liked his floundering, too, and the description of Gabriel's voice- that was beautiful.
OH! And all of the description of Gabriel's house, that was wonderful too. I love the irony of it all, how Kuro had this image of a magickal guy in his head, based on Gabe's poems and whatnot, and when he finally meets Gabriel- the house is cold and lifeless, Gabriel looks beautiful, but at the same time, like, drawn, tired- and trapped, trapped as you said, in his own home.
This story is just so great. So far. I have to read more. You have once again enthralled me, pulled me into the worlds you create with the words you weave- I am forever your biggest fan. :DD
| neurofeces chapter 3 . 2/13/2007
It pleases me, obviously.
*sigh* I didn't know this one chapter was even out...I feel like i missed something. stupid sickness stealing my days from me to waste as I please...*grumble gumble*
*gabriel pops up* Gabriel: POETRY!
Kuro: *sighs again at the bare room*
*ceiling falls in* Kuro: GYAH!
gabriel: *blink* What?
Kuro: ! *stares in amazement* Who would fit so much crap in the attic?
Gabriel: Oh...i had to have room for the flying lessons. *smile*
Kuro: FLYING LESSONS!
*a bunch of little erasers in tutus trudge in*
Gabriel: *smiles serenely* You ARE being a bit of a disruption...if you don't mind?
NF: Right. Sorry. *drags Kuro from the room*
I like Gabriel's evasiveness about his wings-I take it he IS an eraser in this reality as well. (Well I HOPE I haven't been beat over the head int eh wrong direction, hmm?) How funny.
Gabriel's a depressing old beatnik (with a snazzy beret and sunglasses and a set of bongos!)until Kuro comes along and turns him into a gangsta rap artist! *cackles*
Gabriel: *tries to fly and plummets to the ground by his neck under the weight of his bling*
Gabriel: *weakly* I'm not dead!
You know-any critter with wings would probably fear a fall the most. That would be an uncontrolled descent; highly dangerous, etc... Just a thought. Good of you to put in gabriel's skittishness. I really liked that there.
Mmph. I think I'll go adore my Kuro icon now... *preens*
| Luciver chapter 2 . 1/10/2007
It has been far too long.
I LOVED THIS, as I love all of your writing.
and, random question, do you have a LJ?
| neurofeces chapter 2 . 12/18/2006
Kye! It's up! Oh thank you! Just one more thing for me to adore as I go off for winter break! bless you!
Oh dear...gabriel's rather spaced out isn't he?
Gabriel: *walking along absentmindedly* *bangs into a door* Oh? Oh dear...when did that get put there? *rubs forehead and blinks vaguely*
Kuro: Um...since I installed it this morning...You don't mind, do you?
Gabriel: Hm? Oh...no not at all...a door...how interesting...how wonderfully unique.
Kuro:...er...a lot of people have doors you know.
Gabriel: (dreamily) Oh? Do they? fascinating... A door of my very own...
you know, Gabriel and Kuro are about the same height. I can see some clothes swapping ensuing once Gabriel gets his head out of the clouds long enough to notice the holes in his buddy's shoes.
ah...Can't wait to see how the Gabriel/Kuro occurs, but don't let that make you speed it up! You could write just about anything and I'd read and review. (grin) (when I remembered and hopped off my fangirl squaling cloud)
| Luciver chapter 1 . 9/7/2006
Ah, more from the wonderful world of CF! I'm in love with Gabriel especially because 1- his name is Gabriel, which is what I'm naming my first born, haha. 2- He's a poet. WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE ABOUT POETS?
I'm excited about where this is going (I think) to go.
And don't worry it didn't seem perverted at al to me .
And I'm dying here for the next chapter of CF. Seriously. I'm hooked up to life support and the doctors tell me I don't have much longer.
| neurofeces chapter 1 . 9/7/2006
HA! It's up! yay!
Well, I have to thank you profusely for getting it up with all my stupid begging or such. (I probably made an idiot of myself...) And I have to say since this morning when I received the note, I'd been fileld with wondering ideas of what you might do...
Thsi was by no means one of them...but SO GOOD!
Argh...your descriptions of gabriel are infinitely better than mine. Yargh. (being an eraser does he have a lst name? oh well, he does now...I bet it has some meaning that you've put into it and ISN'T just some random collection of syllables *laughs*)
hmm...you try not to bore us...I wish I were so considerate. *eyes C9 a little apprehensively* *grin*
Lovely job as ever. You'll put me out of a job if you keep this up. Update faster before I get competitive. (subtly manipulative aren't I? hooray psychology!)