Reviews for Lucky
Guest chapter 1 . 8/28/2014
So mustang and Alphonse are dead? Well that was emoptionally scarring but beatuiful at the same time :/
ValiantArcher chapter 1 . 5/24/2012
So sad! And, yet, it's such an intriguing "What If". Poor Havoc having to hold them all together, and it's heartbreaking to see how broken Ed and Riza are. Nicely done. :)
TillyMe chapter 1 . 6/26/2011
Sad. Sad but good.

:)
luckylisha58 chapter 1 . 8/6/2009
*crying* aah this was so sad *sob sob* i loved it though. it was very well written.
Koneko Hoshi chapter 1 . 7/17/2009
Very touching. I love the characterization. I especially love Edward's characterization. I just want to squeeze him!
D chapter 1 . 2/2/2009
OMG! KEEP WRITING!I'm waiting for an update. *pulls out popcorn*
Reading4soul chapter 1 . 11/1/2007
*cries* OMG, what an awesome (and heart-wrenching) idea! Utterly sad; beautifully written.
Griselda Banks chapter 1 . 10/16/2007
Hey, remember me? (I won't be offended if you don't; I probably wouldn't remember me either.) I really liked your fic "Sense," and "Brilliant Agony" too. I can't imagine how I missed this one when I was looking through your profile ages ago, but a friend directed me to this story, and I figured I'd better read it since she said it was really great, and since I already knew I liked your writing.

I really like this; it's tragic, but beautiful despite (or maybe because of) that. I think this is the only Havocai fic that I've ever liked, to tell you the truth. The only way it could ever work, in my mind, is if Mustang died, like he did in this one. You've shown, in a very vivid and poignant way, just how broken these three are. Kudos to you _

I have a request that's probably going to sound egotistical, but could you read my fic "The Day I Woke Up"? Your fic "Sense" inspired me to write it, and it's similar, though different. I never would have written it if it hadn't been for you, and I'd be honored if you would read it. Thanks! _
September Rhyme chapter 1 . 8/7/2007
Whoa.

Lots o' bad things happened.

That was sad...

What happened to Ed though?

I sorta didn't get that part...
Breion chapter 1 . 5/29/2007
In the second line you don't have a space between "woman" and "were" (twice).

Very interesting to see the otherwise genius Edward as a mentally unaware child.

Brilliant. Absolutely wonderful writing. I'm glad to finally find a decent piece of Havocai, and the bonus is that you've also incorporated Royai into it. Two pairings rolled into one, in a way that isn't cheesy and all about the 'competition'.

Other than the small mistakes, I can see absolutely nothing wrong with it (it's completely sound in plot, description, dialogue, and everything). There was another mistake towards the end, in the third last paragraph - "Riza nodded, an and her shoulders jerked." That 'an' is out of place.

Lovely.
Mayuna chapter 1 . 3/17/2007
This story was genius plain and simple. Very well written I have to say and also very sad. Good job.
AerinM chapter 1 . 2/11/2007
Well, that was depressing.

Depressing, but lovely :) Good job, it was a good story. I think I would die if that became reality, though.
ArraMidnight chapter 1 . 1/20/2007
This is an incredibly well written story, i dont know if your ever gonna write more on it but you should consider, i know i'd read it. great job
Night Alchemist chapter 1 . 1/12/2007
This is the best fanfic that I have read tonight (and I've read about 20 so far)...

And the best havocai I have ever read (and I LOVE havocai, ask MoonStarDutches if you don't believe)

:)
BlueTulip chapter 1 . 12/10/2006
Wow...I love this exploration of how things would have turned out differently if Ed hadn't succeeded and Hawkeye hadn't made it in time to save Mustang. You used the right amount of description in the right places, with good word choice/phrasing...I liked the rhythmic, pattern-ish quality of the first paragraph, if that makes any sense (and I liked that you didn't state the names of the three people right then, and this line stood out particularly in the fic: "Whenever he was left alone the house ended up partly destroyed from the inside out and covered in chalk drawings circled with blood." The only wording that doesn't seem to work is "Riza hid her trembling mouth with a sip of coffee, and let the _hot liquid brush over her lip_." I think "brush" is an action that sounds a bit awkward for a liquid, and "lips" would sound...I dunno, more accurate; but hey, artistic license is cool, and it's a small point. On a further nitpicky note (I'm sorry!) there are a few tiny punctuation/capitalization errors in sentences with quotation marks:

"'...instead of him.' The man would whisper..."

"'Where's Al?' The child would ask..."

"'Breakfast?' A young voice asked."

The characterization of Havoc is very good, with his feelings of loyalty and obligation. I like the part that briefly described what happened with Ed, Mustang, and the other members of Mustang's staff.

Nice job!
26 | Page 1 2 Next »