|Reviews for Memento Vivere|
| shelwyn chapter 34 . 6/20
Thanks for updating this story again.
Been a few months since I read a fanfiction have like 50 ff emails reading them today.
| wallflowerxiii chapter 34 . 6/17
When I started receiving alerts in my e-mail that this story was updated, I couldn't believe it! I was saving up all the new chapters for a day where I could re-read the whole story, and you definitely did not disappoint! The story is still as magnificent and enchanting as ever. How I've missed these characters so dearly! This is by far the best FFX fanfic to ever exist, and now I'm left wanting to re-play the game all over again. Can't wait until your next update!
| Kikushi chapter 34 . 6/16
Can I just say how psyched I am that you are going back to this? I think I added your story to my favorites way back when you first began to write it! I was a bit confused at first when I began to see the new story alerts in my inbox, but now that I’ve finally found the time to go back and reread this, some long-ago memories have reawakened and I am in love with this world all over again.
I just can’t wait to see how you are going to conclude this. I have a few guesses, but I won’t name them here in case I’m right! I love how you are taking this particular relationship slow. I never want it to end. I’m sure quite a few of us are waiting for ~that~ Aurikku action, but I’m content with this… For now. ;)
You’re also slowly inspiring me to go back into the world of fan fiction... Just when I figured I was out. Oh well!
Looking forward to your next update!
PS— There was a chapter about Rikku being the "Al Bhed Princess,” with her mentioning her relation to Cid for the first time in front of Braska. I’m surprised he didn’t react more!
PPS— While I admire the dedication of some of the, er, lengthier reviewers that have come before me, I must pitch in my two cents regarding critique I’ve found of your writing. Style is a matter of preference. Therefore, you can be as concise or as wordy as you wish depending on which glove fits well for you. Criticism is like a buffet: you can choose what you want to take, but you don't have to take everything. It is my personal rule that I never disregard nor discredit a critic, but you should also take into account where you and him/her stand on a literary level… interpret that however you wish. ;)
| WinryElric65 chapter 34 . 6/16
Great chapter! Definitely looking forward to the next one
| Demeter1 chapter 34 . 6/16
Oh my gosh. So, I was going to comment, UGH FINALLY HE TOUCHES HER THIS IS THE LONGEST AWAITED MOMENT IN HISTORY and then I read your comments about how you live in Germany and I was like OMG I WAS JUST IN GERMANY LAST WEEK.
But back to Auron and Rikku - I'm totally a jump-into-the-sack kind of girl but I appreciated his thoughtfulness on the massage, and how the caress means more to him then the act of sex, and how this is a moment for him as well.
Oh my gosh, the kiss between the shoulders ;_; Rikku and Auron, we've waited for this for so long.
| YumeTakato chapter 34 . 6/15
I really enjoyed it and look forward to the next!
| anon chapter 34 . 6/15
Is it bad that I kinda want a Rikku/Braska kiss at some point? There was alot if tension there earlier in the story and I just kind of adore the way you write Braska. I love your Auron too though so if not it's no big deal. I'm just so glad you're updating again! Thanks for continuing this awesome story!
| Loki'dWendy chapter 34 . 6/15
Those two are just so cute and frustraiting.
I cannot deal with the way the Ronso play blitzball. I always and forever avoid them when building a team. Lol
| Skyrere chapter 34 . 6/14
so sweet and dare I say... touching... :D
I love it.
| ersa1101 chapter 34 . 6/14
Oh yay an update :D So first of all, I just wanted to say I loved that you showed the game from Auron and Braska's pov, you had me laughing with braska's reaction to the game.
And I'm hoping that Jecht's pep talk to the team will do them some good for the next game.
Next I wanted to say that Auron and rikku's date was adorable (although I'm kinda grossed out that rikku did it with Buddy...yuck! xD ) It was very cute and I really enjoyed getting to know what Auron thinks about relationships, intimacy, and such. What I got from his little speech was that he doesn't want to be with rikku intimately because he thinks it'll ruin him (as in it'll be all he wants to do...kind of like a lot of guys I know). So good for Auron!...not so good for Rikku lol.
One final thing I would like to ask- Braska said he was going to go out and see what kind of story Bevelle is telling, is he talking about what he and his group did at Mushroom Rock?
Anywho, wonderful chapter!
| Flare93 chapter 33 . 6/14
I thank you a million time for this fantastic and realistic story. I hope it'll be a happy ending.
can't wait to read more! :)
| A chapter 33 . 6/12
Perfect! Please update soon!
| Team Wingless chapter 1 . 6/11
Coming to you from another Final Fantasy, but you missed me by an installment or three. Even though this isn't your first chapter, every chapter should be treated like a first chapter, so I'm going to review it the same.
Your opener was obviously-I don't know if I would call it a double negative-unenticing. Instead of telling me how exciting and different your scenery is and really selling me on why I should keep reading, you basically say "meh, here's a boring description of scenery, the same old thing, picture a beach and rocks, there ya go." It's not really making a strong case for me to continue reading, if you know what I mean. I never try to start off anything with description of scenery if I can help it. And then, it better be the best description of dirt on the ground in literature, otherwise it's wasting the reader's time.
A lot of info dump without much context. Though I am a little familiar with 10's storyline, even if I wasn't, all of these figures come at me as meaningless lore. Maybe put a face to a name somehow.
I have a pet peeve when people describe chocobos as "big chickens." It completely breaks the immersion and kills my willing suspension of disbelief. In their world, chocobos are completely normal to them, so why would they even comment on it? We don't even know if chickens exist in their universe. It would be similar to us riding a horse and being like "ahh I'm riding a giant dog cow!" I understand you're trying to be witty but I don't think you hit it here. Also, he's so unenthused with chocobo riding with his demeanor but then comes back like "this is awesome!" There's a continuity problem going on here. I'd try reading my stories out loud to catch stuff like that.
So far there's a lot of narration, little useless bits about hair and whatnot. This distracts from the story and doesn't build character, contrary to what many people believe. I'd cut it completely (no pun intended).
The dialogue is random. Someone yelling about how it's too expensive to rent chocobos when they're already renting chocobos, and someone else complaining about how they're on an adventure despite the fact that they're adventurers. So just everything is so random, and it took a lot of paragraphs to get here. I'd narrow down the focus of your chapter and stick to that.
Descriptions of actions as well written though. I was able to see the whole falling off the mount thing.
Auron asking why they're there and then Braska saying why comes off as you trying to hard to tell the reader the point of this chapter. If they didn't know what they were doing there, why were they going? And isn't this a question that might have been asked before they got all that way and spent all that money renting chocobos?
The dialogue isn't really fitting together, it seems. It might just be me but I'm having trouble following it coherently. It sounds like random lines that don't have much to do with each other, again, try reading lines out loud. Also, you have a lot of description in between dialogue lines. This slows down the flow and makes it so I can't visualize the conversation. And dialogue always starts a new line. Don't have one person talk, add description, talk again, add more description, all in the same paragraph.
So I just realized they've pulled up in the middle of a battle while they're idly chatting about what they're doing there, which they apparently didn't know before they got there. Honestly I think if you're going to make them all fight, skip the small talk and get to the fighting. Wise man once said: if you're going to shoot, shoot, don't stand there talking about it.
If you say "the chaos spread before them was sobering," there is then no need to describe what you see, as we've already got our own definition of what sobering means and it might be different from yours then. I'd either describe it out or say it was sobering but not both.
So now that you're in the battle, you're still describing everything in the passive voice ("we're slamming" instead of "slammed"). Battles are active and should be described I. The active voice as much as possible, or else it just reads like a history book.
I've noticed a lot of "scripting," ie "turning to face..." You don't have to write these as the reader assumes on their own and it slows the action.
"...the rune that bloomed in the sky." I liked this line a lot. Good visual. Really captivating.
So you say Auron is "battling," but what does that mean? Is he swinging on something, slashing, swatting, diverolling, doing the Macarena? Show not tell. I like to see a battle in real time.
"Raining into the ocean in a thick, unnatural storm of magic" Oooh really liked this line. If you peppered your whole story with descriptions like this instead of idle chatter it would be very captivating. This is the kind of substantive description that really keeps people reading.
"Reaching into herself..." Whoa what does that mean? You definitely need to clarify hammer space more. I have hammer space in my story as well, but remember it defies like every law of physics, so just describing it as if it's a normal thing will break the immersion so fast. I don't even want to talk about the mental picture I got.
"Continued to fire" should just be "fired," this is an example of passive vs active tense. "Pyreflies were rising" becomes "pyreflies rose."
So in the heat of the battle, I'm getting a lot of atmospheric descriptions which I really love, and a lot of how enemies are moving into position to attack, but not a lot of description about the Attacks themselves. And when I do get them, they're in the passive voice. Great setup, poor execution.
Well I will say this ended great. Very gripping and well written ending that I'm very satisfied with. My major critiques are that this is way too long. The battle just kept going on without them making much progress, reminds me of times I fought bosses without power leveling...one...hp...at...a...time. The battle can be reasonably cut in half and still convey the same message. Also, you need to cut out most if not all of your description in between dialogue lines. Whenever you write dialogue, try just writing it out straight with no description, and then describe what's going on after they're done talking. Think of it in bouts of five lines, not line/move/line/move/move/line. Change this completely to the active voice, no "were" "was" or anything passive. Like I said, battles are active, bloody endeavors. Finally, your setup was amazing. You had these otherworldly, breathtaking descriptions that fell completely flat once you actually got to the actual strike or movement that made up the attack. I understand battle scene writing is hard. Check out RA Salvatore for examples on how to write really compelling large battle scenes. Also, adverbs, cut them and you're golden.
| ersa1101 chapter 33 . 6/10
Wonderful chapter! I am so looking forward to the game, I'm just hoping that the Fangs will actually do a decent job playing...but at the same time I kind of want the Aurochs to win (but then that would go against their canon losing streak). Either way, I am excited :D
| parakeetfood chapter 33 . 6/9
It made me really happy to see you're updating this again. I'm operating on little sleep, so a long review would probably resemble several alphabets in a blender. But I'll just say that you're an excellent writer, your characterizations are great, and your humor works. It's hard to do humor right. I hope Rikku gets her happy ending... Can't wait to read more!