|Reviews for Chrono Trigger: Fighting Fate|
| 66045 chapter 14 . 9/28/2014
Coming back through this fic after reading majority of others who try to follow the same kind of idea has brought me to conclude that this has been the longest lasting Chrono Trigger rewrite, whilst maintaining its high quality. Your work has really shown through in this one.
| H-72R chapter 14 . 9/19/2014
I'm surprised not only by the length of this piece, but how you've managed to vary from the game itself in a more realistic light. My favorite part would have to be chapter 9, but only because of robo's introduction, heheh. i enjoy the way you represent these characters, and i hope you continue to write in the future, even if it's not for this. it doesn't seem as if you have updated in a while, which is honestly a shame, in my opinion. ah well.
| Asahar4 chapter 14 . 8/17/2014
aww men... things are getting exciting... and i hope there will be an update... please update this... pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee
| Shade40 chapter 14 . 7/5/2014
I didn't really like the technique of italicizing text to indicate a different accent. I found it sort of distracting. When I see a whole lot of italiced text, I assume it's a flashback, but in this case it wasn't. I thought you were doing it because you had written previous chapters with old-style English and didn't want to spend so much time on picking out the words anymore, but when I looked at chapter 2, it seemed that you used italicizing there as well, so if it's a comment I didn't make then, I probably should have.
As you said in your opening notes, there was no problem in understanding the familiarity with the Knight Captain, and I sympathize with the fact that, in wanting/planning to rewrite earlier chapters, you wrote this with the edits in mind. Whether you should rewrite those chapters before continuing on or leave them for rewriting once your story is finished is a personal choice, so I don't have any advice on that front.
I felt this was a more understandable chapter than many others. Although (as I think I've mentioned in every review I've left) I haven't played Chrono Trigger in a long time and so forget parts of the story, I remember enough about this period to be able to follow what's going on. I felt the healing scene was best, as I always enjoy descriptions of magic from a personal perspective. The short flashbacks with Leene may have been simply to build her character, but I also felt like they were set-up and will serve a specific purpose later on. The political/war strategy parts felt weakest, as it is hard for us to visualize the situation with the war in geographical terms. Also, when a more developed character (Bridane) is disagreeing with other minor characters (the superior officers), it is hard to understand what the minor characters are thinking. When they are presented as being idiots or as completely misunderstanding a situation, it alienates them from the reader. I much prefer it when the 'antagonists' have solid, rational reasons for going against the 'protagonist', rather than just going against them to be contrary.
| TheBigOne chapter 2 . 7/5/2014
Hi. While I like your story I don't like the way you wrote the summary to make it look like an AU fic when it clearly isn't.
Please change it! False Advertising ain't cool!
| TheBigOne chapter 1 . 7/5/2014
So what exactly drifted here? So far everything seems the same ole same ole except stretched out as long as a Limo.
| Shade40 chapter 13 . 12/8/2013
Sorry for the delay in reviewing.
I feel a bit lost because of the amount of time that's passed since we left this part of the plot - but I seem to remember feeling lost in the game too. When the characters travel through time to escape a bad situation, only to find another bad situation, then return, it's easy to get mixed up or to forget what the original bad situation was.
This is definitely a great setup for intrigue and mystery. I always associate stories with political machinations with long, epic stories (even when that part of the story bores me), so you're setting yourself up for a lofty goal that hopefully you can reach. Oftentimes, novelization stories tend to focus only on the main characters and suffer weakness in the surrounding 'world events'. Seeing someone want to go against that tendency and build a story that works with events that may be distant from the main characters is admirable. It's probably also intimidating for the writer. :)
Of course, with time travel thrown into the mix, an interesting part of this story may be the way you could leave one event, go to another time and plotline, then return to where you left off. You may end up with something that, on first read, feels disorienting, but that with a few reads becomes really interesting and different.
For this chapter itself, I don't have much to say. It was a necessary chapter for set up, but nothing jumped out at me as worth commenting on.
| Renascent chapter 12 . 10/16/2013
I had just finished Chrono Trigger, start to finish, for what may be the 5th time over the course of 11 of my 18 years and I decided I may be interested in my own sort of almost-novelization of the story, as a means to expand my writing experience, but I think if you remain active I'll withhold that wish for now. I'd hate to compete with you.
Seems you've chosen to have chosen no quirks in narration, like sarcasm or characteristic vagueness, and that's fine. Nothing like those to delude a serious story, I'm sure.
I'm somewhat surprised you decided to put all those physical, subatomic particles or whatever they are. I'm glad I've heard enough of them to understand what was going on, and to know that I would've have missed much if I didn't understand them.
I gotta say, this is among the highest quality writing (writing in particular) I've seen on this site.
It's both terse yet whole in expression, very deliberate in what you choose to write about and how much to write about it, from what I can tell, and a large volume of words that seems appropriate with all that happens.
The balance of your deliberate subjects to expand upon... I may have some reservations about them. But for the most part I find them a very good decision on your part.
Obviously, the action isn't exactly up-there but I know it isn't important to you so that I don't mind, and I could just play Chrono Trigger if I wanted that. But I would ask you to try to separate action scenes into more paragraphs: even though they are slightly larger paragraphs than others, it still is not aesthetically pleasing in size and invites readers to just plain skip it.
Naturally you've made some deliberate omissions to make it more of a proper story.
I'm surprised you hadn't been into bigger descriptions and extravagantly detailed paragraphs. I think would've enjoyed that, personally.
I thought it was great you decided to flesh out experiences we would've just zipped by in the game without a second thought when realistically it probably would've been like as you've written. I very much enjoyed your take on some experiences such as the misery of having to traverse the desolate Earth of 2300 AD as well as the tension that results from the troubles. Although at that point in particular, I was hoping for lucid imagery and perhaps symbolism, with maybe petty ramblings or psychological meanderings of distraught minds but oh well.
The side stories do a great deal to define the characters. It looks to be your primary source for characterization.
Your use of Original Characters, as well as tangential settings or situations (I don't really consider them full-fledged supporting plotlines) is absolutely spectacular: it's exactly the way I believe OCs should be used to enhance a story centered on already existing characters and exactly the way I'd plan to use them as well. If only it weren't so difficult to give them such a complete background and a plausible connection and entrance into the characters' journey, but also giving the sense of being their own entities, having their own lives. Not to mention the masterful execution of well designed characters. All the while, not diminishing the roles, or really much of anything, of the main characters. But you've managed to do just that and more. Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion but I cannot praise you enough for this alone.
I have always believed that OCs can be used very well, and now I can say I believe that without a doubt in my mind.
Your characterization is quite interesting. I love that you see to have Lucca as the most defined person of all (I suspect there's a [personal] reason for that), having her as a haughty, proud, principled, very intelligent, and strong-willed individual, a clear paragon for the scheme of her element of fire. Fire, being a very important symbol for human intelligence/innovation, if not a symbol of man himself, and also of two extremes: dangerous when out of control, but a true blessing with deliberation and care. A symbol of warmth and comfort, but also searing, unforgiving destruction. All this makes for a very interesting person. I never would've guessed Lucca would've been the one to get the spotlight but I sure am pleased with this result.
I very much enjoyed her internal conflict about Crono and Marle: It's a very realistic concern and one very fitting for these characters.
Marle has me somewhat confused, and I think that's a problem. I'm not certain how to feel about her, with respect to this fic. She's proven to be defiant, mostly because of her father, when it seemed to her that she (alone) had power to do something about it, as she had in the games... she's certainly very, very kind with treatment with the remaining humans of the future. I was honestly surprised you went so far there. But the most clear thing about her, as with so many characters (fanfics or not), is that she likes Crono. It isn't so bad that I can say that , and some basic and superficial traits such as couragous, strong or whatever, while lacking evidence of a more complex personality,
Chrono is also strange simply because he isn't someone that is show to have much thought. He merely acts, or rather it seems he mainly reacts to the others. I hope there's a reason for that. I get that he's another one of the silent protagonists (with one event that is an exception) and it would be wise to have him somewhat... distant or ambiguous or something. That's what it seems to me at least. It's also lovely that he's both a source of tension and facilitating force between the two girls. I was almost expecting an id-ego-superego archetypal trio at one point.
I like what you have for Robo so far but I think I'll critique him later.
Thanks again, I really enjoyed this story: I hope you continue.
| Shade40 chapter 12 . 9/22/2013
I am 99% positive you made up this smuggling/ship voyage bit. I don't remember this from the game at all.
Having been on a ship myself for a short bit, I enjoyed the nostalgia when reading this chapter. Lucca's insinuating comment to trick the investigator was priceless and Lucca and Robo's conversation was cute. I am sure the female readers in particular can understand where Lucca is coming from; there may be no logic in childhood friends, with no romance, becoming jealous of the attention of a "competing woman", but it's still something most girls have experienced (even if only mildly). The conversation between Marle and Crono added a beautiful fleshing out of his past. Lucca and Amon's exchange was fun. I know I've said it before, but this story is fleshing things out so nicely that it will add a new dimension to the game when I play it again.
It may just be the length of time between chapters that is throwing my memory off, but I feel like Crono, Marle and Lucca have adjusted remarkably quickly to interacting with Mystics as if it's no big deal. Did you make mention of that before and I'm just forgetting? I seem to recall that, in their original time, humans and Mystics were definitely enemies or at the very least weren't part of each other's worlds. So it seems weird to me that the main characters can behave as if they are comfortable with Mystics when, for them, Mystics are new and strange. I feel like a bad reviewer/fan because I'm really not sure of things that a true fan should know...
You consistently spelled "site" wrong twice. It should be "sight" when referring to whether something can be seen or not. "Site" is a place.
A hard part of this story is the length of time between chapters and the length of the chapters when they are posted. I appreciate that your chapters are quite long, but this means that they take a lot of time to write, and it also means that there is more to forget in that span of time between one chapter and the next. I don't think there's anything you can do about this, but I wanted to point it out as a difficulty.
| Heatblizzard chapter 5 . 7/14/2013
The dragon tank battle despite it being outside seemed artificial. It would've been better if Chrono had just left it alone...at least for now and come back for it at a better time when there aren't so many guards around?
| Heatblizzard chapter 4 . 7/14/2013
"And lastly I want to thank majinbuu for his suggestion about the whole recapture idea. It solved one of my problems. Next time find out how Lucca breaks into the castle! Hopefully that chapter won't take as long as this one did."
Another solution could've been having Lucca meet Chrono in the execution chamber where Chrono hears the sounds of the hallway patrol fallen down and to his suprise Lucca comes in and they both escape together.
However this whole incident of being arrested could've been avoided entirely if Chrono didn't follow the princess into the castle and offered to met somewhere private instead explaining to the princess that her father would overrule him being in there with her.
Sorry for my review being long but this is a very good novel but I don't see why you are worried about this deviating from the original path as there is no original path.
| CT fan chapter 11 . 5/13/2013
Love this story. :)
| guest chapter 11 . 5/5/2013
This chapter is great. Ozzie's arrogance seems to have passed to his descendants. Oh and I do hope you go down the path to spare Magus/Janus life. I like it more when Frog/Glenn forgives him. But I thought it kind of mean that Magus doesn't change him back even after they let him live.
| guest chapter 10 . 5/4/2013
That's kind of interesting. I never thought about visualizing my thoughts before. Imo that just sounds like it's going into the crazy zone. But I guess truthfully I think in words. I've tried the image thinking before and it doesn't work well for me except when giving directions. Landmarks are my thing. :)
| guest chapter 9 . 5/4/2013
There's another interesting one for Robo's theme. Its robo's theme with lyrics. I got rick roll'd. Or I should say, Robo roll'd. Lol