|Reviews for Chrono Trigger: Fighting Fate|
| Guest chapter 15 . 7/14
I feel bad for not having reviewed this until two months after you posted it. Sorry!
Although it shouldn't be a surprise that my memory is hazy as to where the story currently stands, upon reading my last review, I can say that this felt like a very good battle/war-development chapter. It was short, but there was a terse, wary sensation to the writing that worked well with the topic at hand. I also liked the way you switched the mind control theory to necromancy, as a sort of mini-mystery.
Shorter chapters can be good and bad. It should hopefully mean you can post more frequently, but it also means that there will be less for reviewers to comment on.
| Asahar4 chapter 15 . 4/11
... actually, it is a miracle this story is updated at all... well, i pray that the updated may come swift and repeatedly
| Kios chapter 15 . 4/9
Heh, necromancy. It's funny because you were presumed dead.
I think the switch to semi-chapters will actually be a more positive change then negative, momentum is a huge factor, with your unfortunate history of hiatuses (hiatii? Hiases? Wait, you're the language professor; how the hell do you pluralize hiatus?) I think regular content would be better then long waits for large amounts of content. Basic addiction therapy: if there's the occasional dose of the addictive it reinforces the cycle, but throwing a carton of cigarettes at someone who quit smoking years ago will have mixed results. Besides, this semi-chapter has more content then plenty of 20 chapter 'stories' that make up the bulk of 'content' around here.
Finally, you'll notice that I have done little review of the actual content of this chapter. I am a very critical... uh, critic, and there is precious little to criticize. So... yeah. This is a closing statement.
| Renascent chapter 14 . 10/12/2015
Before moving on to this chapter, I'm absolutely ashamed and I apologize for gratuitous spelling errors in my previous reviews and any confusion or misunderstandings that may have resulted in them. I have to think through about what the hell I meant because of them.
Also I think I have Robo figured out a bit. And I mean his interplay and role with the group. I always knew it because it was so obvious but I couldn't quite verbalize it.
A little (hypocritical) correction: Delirious king says “Only Cyrus' unit...” should be “Only Cyrus's unit...” because “ 's” applies to singular possessive nouns and Cyrus is single.
A few other clerical errors here too.
Now for actually reviewing the chapter.
I've notice that this chapter is very “active”, relatively so compared to others. This chapter makes rather small reference the previous chapter... well only small direct references.
Here, Lucca does that by worrying about the their time and their home but those worries gets pushed aside by Crono's own worries and plot.
But it's also “active” in that most of what happens is plot happenings and character interactions. While the not “active” parts would be Leene's and everyone's worries and the rumors of Cyrus's survival and the Hero Child.
Not a bad thing and I'm just particularly attentive to this balance between. I consider it somewhat indicative in some ways an author does their writing.
More plot goes on, yes. I don't have much to say about it since it's mostly build up, besides the King's wounds.
The potential dilemma of whether to use magic or not seems like a missed opportunity to me. Guess it was a non-issue. I do think Marle would be ecstatic to use magic for non-combat purposes.
Maybe there's the point of this chapter being more about the others of the past: the king, Leene, and Cyrus. I will say it's nice for Crono, Marle, and Lucca to have a place where they are welcomed and appreciated by people who aren't their parents.
Ain't much to the chapter but it is another building up chapter. They were definitely lost in the previous chapter but now they have a direction to head out to.
I do feel like some readers might feel a little lost reading about the knights, the maids and servants, Leene and all the others but if they just look it over once or twice it isn't hard to follow.
I definitely would have prefer a more saturated chapter. A little more meat to chew at.
| Renascent chapter 13 . 8/3/2015
Here's to hoping you're still around.
I read this and next chapter a long time ago but I think I'll prove adequate in my response.
Immediately we have the very expected concern of an oppressive government. It's pretty banal as a plot these days, what with the rise of popular YA novels - big time movies: Hunger Games, The Mortal Instruments, Divergent and potential many more.
But really, considering that Marle disappeared, it's natural for the King to be concerned and have increased precautions and inspectorate laws and procedures exacerbated to have more scrutiny on everyone. And then certain people in powerful positions will have the perfect opportunity to mislead the King and whoever else and create chaos and distractions allowing them to continue with their schemes or whathaveyou.
And a natural product of this change is a Resistance force. Again, hackneyed as hell but what can you do? And martial law too.
I'm glad to see that the drama continues. Naturally, Marle is in an inclusive position in the kingdom so she, as princess, gets to see the nicer side of monarchy rule. Lucca as an otherwise average ordinary citizen, quirks and personality aside, thinks the near opposite.
And finally Crono is forced to chose between which perspective to agree with: is the resistance misinformed or blowing things out of proportion; or is the kingdom really overreacting and causing all kinds of problems for the laypeople. Too many times have I witnessed this: two people creating a situation where agreeing with (only) one of them and their perspective on an issue is indicative of personal preference of the person whose perspective he claims to agree with... and if he cannot definitely chose he is either flimsy and flaky (shallow in his attempt to placate both parties) at best or deceptively careful and disingenuous at worst. Naturally, the situation is worse when it's two girls asking a guy to choose between the two of them... vicariously.
I suppose it isn't too surprising but the relationships are very tense and tenuous. The obvious conflict arises when dealing with such harsh fates but sooner or later Crono should be able to realize how disconcerting it really is. Crono is actively trying to ingratiate himself to both Marle and Lucca but the two choose to be boorish to one another (not too much so in any particular incident [except those few times] but holistically speaking). And Crono should come to terms that he cannot "win" attempting to pull to forces together when said forces choose to push apart from the other and yet not actively apart from him. Or at least, this quest is no easy task. There's a fine line he's trying to walk and it's one that is long, and ever winding and meandering.
And I can imagine a breaking point for him... assuming other things like plot doesn't distract and delay the drama from collapsing in on itself... but the plot probably will.
It amazes me how much I love this sort of drama as opposed to a lot more of other kinds of drama that I see on TV and read on fanfics. I believed for a long time that I didn't like drama because of that. I don't know what you and a few other people doing right with drama but I sure do want to find out.
Wow, that's what I can get just from rereading the first section. Won't be able to do this much thinking for the rest, probably. A shame I can only have one review per chapter.
I'm not the most receptive of plots centered on resistance forces doing... what they do: I could hardly follow when Star Wars did this thing. So, I'm not sure what I can say to help you.
The encounter with the resistance is certainly bothersome to everyone but yet fortuitous in allowing everyone the chance to reunite with their family. Nothing like that to diffuse a tense personal situation.
And the resistance also gained valuable information from Lucca's rescue mission. The foundation is ready to be rocked to the core right about now.
The chapter was in many ways a necessary plot set-up chapter. No doubt, there's a whole lot of this sort of thing required for this kind of fanfic for Chrono Trigger. And just as well, it was a chance for many, not just the main 3, to grab their bearings and rest well and motivate, reaffirm, and reengage.
Enjoyed this chapter as well. Hope you continue.
| Ghost Man chapter 14 . 7/3/2015
I do hope you are not giving up on this epic piece. While you two approach the topic differently, both should continue your own novelizations. Keep it up, and I hope your muse has not fled from thee.
| 66045 chapter 14 . 9/28/2014
Coming back through this fic after reading majority of others who try to follow the same kind of idea has brought me to conclude that this has been the longest lasting Chrono Trigger rewrite, whilst maintaining its high quality. Your work has really shown through in this one.
| H-72R chapter 14 . 9/19/2014
I'm surprised not only by the length of this piece, but how you've managed to vary from the game itself in a more realistic light. My favorite part would have to be chapter 9, but only because of robo's introduction, heheh. i enjoy the way you represent these characters, and i hope you continue to write in the future, even if it's not for this. it doesn't seem as if you have updated in a while, which is honestly a shame, in my opinion. ah well.
| Asahar4 chapter 14 . 8/17/2014
aww men... things are getting exciting... and i hope there will be an update... please update this... pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee
| Shade40 chapter 14 . 7/5/2014
I didn't really like the technique of italicizing text to indicate a different accent. I found it sort of distracting. When I see a whole lot of italiced text, I assume it's a flashback, but in this case it wasn't. I thought you were doing it because you had written previous chapters with old-style English and didn't want to spend so much time on picking out the words anymore, but when I looked at chapter 2, it seemed that you used italicizing there as well, so if it's a comment I didn't make then, I probably should have.
As you said in your opening notes, there was no problem in understanding the familiarity with the Knight Captain, and I sympathize with the fact that, in wanting/planning to rewrite earlier chapters, you wrote this with the edits in mind. Whether you should rewrite those chapters before continuing on or leave them for rewriting once your story is finished is a personal choice, so I don't have any advice on that front.
I felt this was a more understandable chapter than many others. Although (as I think I've mentioned in every review I've left) I haven't played Chrono Trigger in a long time and so forget parts of the story, I remember enough about this period to be able to follow what's going on. I felt the healing scene was best, as I always enjoy descriptions of magic from a personal perspective. The short flashbacks with Leene may have been simply to build her character, but I also felt like they were set-up and will serve a specific purpose later on. The political/war strategy parts felt weakest, as it is hard for us to visualize the situation with the war in geographical terms. Also, when a more developed character (Bridane) is disagreeing with other minor characters (the superior officers), it is hard to understand what the minor characters are thinking. When they are presented as being idiots or as completely misunderstanding a situation, it alienates them from the reader. I much prefer it when the 'antagonists' have solid, rational reasons for going against the 'protagonist', rather than just going against them to be contrary.
| TheBigOne chapter 2 . 7/5/2014
Hi. While I like your story I don't like the way you wrote the summary to make it look like an AU fic when it clearly isn't.
Please change it! False Advertising ain't cool!
| TheBigOne chapter 1 . 7/5/2014
So what exactly drifted here? So far everything seems the same ole same ole except stretched out as long as a Limo.
| Shade40 chapter 13 . 12/8/2013
Sorry for the delay in reviewing.
I feel a bit lost because of the amount of time that's passed since we left this part of the plot - but I seem to remember feeling lost in the game too. When the characters travel through time to escape a bad situation, only to find another bad situation, then return, it's easy to get mixed up or to forget what the original bad situation was.
This is definitely a great setup for intrigue and mystery. I always associate stories with political machinations with long, epic stories (even when that part of the story bores me), so you're setting yourself up for a lofty goal that hopefully you can reach. Oftentimes, novelization stories tend to focus only on the main characters and suffer weakness in the surrounding 'world events'. Seeing someone want to go against that tendency and build a story that works with events that may be distant from the main characters is admirable. It's probably also intimidating for the writer. :)
Of course, with time travel thrown into the mix, an interesting part of this story may be the way you could leave one event, go to another time and plotline, then return to where you left off. You may end up with something that, on first read, feels disorienting, but that with a few reads becomes really interesting and different.
For this chapter itself, I don't have much to say. It was a necessary chapter for set up, but nothing jumped out at me as worth commenting on.
| Renascent chapter 12 . 10/16/2013
I had just finished Chrono Trigger, start to finish, for what may be the 5th time over the course of 11 of my 18 years and I decided I may be interested in my own sort of almost-novelization of the story, as a means to expand my writing experience, but I think if you remain active I'll withhold that wish for now. I'd hate to compete with you.
Seems you've chosen to have chosen no quirks in narration, like sarcasm or characteristic vagueness, and that's fine. Nothing like those to delude a serious story, I'm sure.
I'm somewhat surprised you decided to put all those physical, subatomic particles or whatever they are. I'm glad I've heard enough of them to understand what was going on, and to know that I would've have missed much if I didn't understand them.
I gotta say, this is among the highest quality writing (writing in particular) I've seen on this site.
It's both terse yet whole in expression, very deliberate in what you choose to write about and how much to write about it, from what I can tell, and a large volume of words that seems appropriate with all that happens.
The balance of your deliberate subjects to expand upon... I may have some reservations about them. But for the most part I find them a very good decision on your part.
Obviously, the action isn't exactly up-there but I know it isn't important to you so that I don't mind, and I could just play Chrono Trigger if I wanted that. But I would ask you to try to separate action scenes into more paragraphs: even though they are slightly larger paragraphs than others, it still is not aesthetically pleasing in size and invites readers to just plain skip it.
Naturally you've made some deliberate omissions to make it more of a proper story.
I'm surprised you hadn't been into bigger descriptions and extravagantly detailed paragraphs. I think would've enjoyed that, personally.
I thought it was great you decided to flesh out experiences we would've just zipped by in the game without a second thought when realistically it probably would've been like as you've written. I very much enjoyed your take on some experiences such as the misery of having to traverse the desolate Earth of 2300 AD as well as the tension that results from the troubles. Although at that point in particular, I was hoping for lucid imagery and perhaps symbolism, with maybe petty ramblings or psychological meanderings of distraught minds but oh well.
The side stories do a great deal to define the characters. It looks to be your primary source for characterization.
Your use of Original Characters, as well as tangential settings or situations (I don't really consider them full-fledged supporting plotlines) is absolutely spectacular: it's exactly the way I believe OCs should be used to enhance a story centered on already existing characters and exactly the way I'd plan to use them as well. If only it weren't so difficult to give them such a complete background and a plausible connection and entrance into the characters' journey, but also giving the sense of being their own entities, having their own lives. Not to mention the masterful execution of well designed characters. All the while, not diminishing the roles, or really much of anything, of the main characters. But you've managed to do just that and more. Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion but I cannot praise you enough for this alone.
I have always believed that OCs can be used very well, and now I can say I believe that without a doubt in my mind.
Your characterization is quite interesting. I love that you see to have Lucca as the most defined person of all (I suspect there's a [personal] reason for that), having her as a haughty, proud, principled, very intelligent, and strong-willed individual, a clear paragon for the scheme of her element of fire. Fire, being a very important symbol for human intelligence/innovation, if not a symbol of man himself, and also of two extremes: dangerous when out of control, but a true blessing with deliberation and care. A symbol of warmth and comfort, but also searing, unforgiving destruction. All this makes for a very interesting person. I never would've guessed Lucca would've been the one to get the spotlight but I sure am pleased with this result.
I very much enjoyed her internal conflict about Crono and Marle: It's a very realistic concern and one very fitting for these characters.
Marle has me somewhat confused, and I think that's a problem. I'm not certain how to feel about her, with respect to this fic. She's proven to be defiant, mostly because of her father, when it seemed to her that she (alone) had power to do something about it, as she had in the games... she's certainly very, very kind with treatment with the remaining humans of the future. I was honestly surprised you went so far there. But the most clear thing about her, as with so many characters (fanfics or not), is that she likes Crono. It isn't so bad that I can say that , and some basic and superficial traits such as couragous, strong or whatever, while lacking evidence of a more complex personality,
Chrono is also strange simply because he isn't someone that is show to have much thought. He merely acts, or rather it seems he mainly reacts to the others. I hope there's a reason for that. I get that he's another one of the silent protagonists (with one event that is an exception) and it would be wise to have him somewhat... distant or ambiguous or something. That's what it seems to me at least. It's also lovely that he's both a source of tension and facilitating force between the two girls. I was almost expecting an id-ego-superego archetypal trio at one point.
I like what you have for Robo so far but I think I'll critique him later.
Thanks again, I really enjoyed this story: I hope you continue.
| Shade40 chapter 12 . 9/22/2013
I am 99% positive you made up this smuggling/ship voyage bit. I don't remember this from the game at all.
Having been on a ship myself for a short bit, I enjoyed the nostalgia when reading this chapter. Lucca's insinuating comment to trick the investigator was priceless and Lucca and Robo's conversation was cute. I am sure the female readers in particular can understand where Lucca is coming from; there may be no logic in childhood friends, with no romance, becoming jealous of the attention of a "competing woman", but it's still something most girls have experienced (even if only mildly). The conversation between Marle and Crono added a beautiful fleshing out of his past. Lucca and Amon's exchange was fun. I know I've said it before, but this story is fleshing things out so nicely that it will add a new dimension to the game when I play it again.
It may just be the length of time between chapters that is throwing my memory off, but I feel like Crono, Marle and Lucca have adjusted remarkably quickly to interacting with Mystics as if it's no big deal. Did you make mention of that before and I'm just forgetting? I seem to recall that, in their original time, humans and Mystics were definitely enemies or at the very least weren't part of each other's worlds. So it seems weird to me that the main characters can behave as if they are comfortable with Mystics when, for them, Mystics are new and strange. I feel like a bad reviewer/fan because I'm really not sure of things that a true fan should know...
You consistently spelled "site" wrong twice. It should be "sight" when referring to whether something can be seen or not. "Site" is a place.
A hard part of this story is the length of time between chapters and the length of the chapters when they are posted. I appreciate that your chapters are quite long, but this means that they take a lot of time to write, and it also means that there is more to forget in that span of time between one chapter and the next. I don't think there's anything you can do about this, but I wanted to point it out as a difficulty.