Reviews for The New Recruit
SAR132-4 chapter 1 . 5/5/2009
Hey, like the ideas, but please, your grammar needs work, especially for people like me who are ODing on cold meds right now.

First of all, you should at least put dialogue in separate paragraphs, and instead of saying "Jackie felt . . ." say something a bit more interesting.

Second of all, make it less choppy, as my English teacher has said 1001 times *SENTENCE FLUENCY*

But that's all I have to say. Feel free to input my advice into your new chapters.
Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 31 . 7/19/2007
aww i likey the songy...me dressed up in a female version of Draccie...classic... *smirks*
Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 30 . 7/3/2007
DRACULA! BLAH BLAH! lol nice
Zokolov chapter 30 . 6/27/2007
Alright, Alice Cooper!

But seriously, song lyrics aren't allowed in stories, and you should have at least given credit.

And seriously, don't write in script format. Try to write normally, so it would look more detailed. This could be reported, you know.
Zokolov chapter 29 . 6/20/2007
I'm sorry, but there isn't much improvements here...Just random thoughts and dialogue mushed up together. The grammar needs some work, and it's also in script format.

And script format, as I remember, is against the TOS...
Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 29 . 6/19/2007
aw
Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 28 . 6/12/2007
LIKE A VIRGIN...love that song
Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 27 . 6/10/2007
aww I like the lyrics to that song...kinda catchy
Dysthymia chapter 11 . 4/10/2007
I like your improvements.

Those soul snipers there...Trying to break you...It's a pity that they have no brains.
Toran of Raysed chapter 1 . 3/11/2007
Do you ever get the feeling after you read an incredibly horrible story, that every shit you've ever taken just crawled up your ass and spewed out your mouth. Well I'd just like to say that you were the shit author that caused this feeling. Hope your proud.

Sage Advice: Remember, down the highway, not across the road.

-ToR
Elspeth25 chapter 1 . 3/11/2007
I haven't watched Strong Medicine, so I really can't judge this fic. But I am leaving a review to tell you to ignore what Flame Rising wrote. He left flames for every single one of my fics, so I can sympathize. I'm sure your fic is good and probably just needs a few touch-ups to make it better. And even if your fic is terrible, it doesn't deserve to be flamed like that. That person really needs to learn some manners. He ought to be locked up and be forced to watch PBS 24/7 until he learned to be nice. Or be driven insane with Barney and Teletibbies or whatever that show is called.
No longer useable chapter 25 . 3/10/2007
Great story, I love it. Captures a lot of emotions, and I actually felt those, it's hard for a writer to make those emotions real, but you did. Well done!

Secondly ignore FLame rising or whatever they call themselves. Just wants all the attention. Plus he couldn't write to save his life. That would be too big a challenge for him. Update soon
Schtick Theft chapter 1 . 3/8/2007
Good God. A fucking piece of shit from my ass could write better than this. How old are you? Who are you? And for that matter, Who am I? WHAT IS THIS WOLRD COMING TO?

What the *stabbed* is wrong with you that you think you can *stabbed* a *stabbed* people want to *stabbed*? The only people that *stabbed*

Please, do the rest of humanity a favor and *stabbed*-

NO! NOT THE CHAINSAW!

-end of transmission-
Schtick Theft chapter 25 . 3/8/2007
Good God. A fucking piece of shit from my ass could write better than this. How old are you? Five? Six?

What the *stabbed* is wrong with you that you think you can *stabbed* a *stabbed* people want to *stabbed*? The only people that *stabbed*

Please, do the rest of humanity a favor and-

NO! NOT THE CHAINSAW! AGH!

-end of transmission-
ScarrFace chapter 25 . 3/8/2007
Nice very nice!I love this story good job.

And as for Flame Rising he can shove it up his ass and die!_
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