|Reviews for Who We Were|
| Fenrir502 chapter 2 . 6/6/2008
Good chapter, I really enjoyed reading about Eremin and Shannara.
| Fenrir502 chapter 1 . 3/14/2008
Very good! If they are not on Jewel what's keeping magic stable?
| GoldenMerlin chapter 1 . 1/17/2007
Okay, I'm writing the review as I read the story. That way I don't forget anything. This chapter is REALLY long! That's a good thing, don't worry!
It's really interesting how Aldyeda doesn't understand that her mother and father are dead. Poor Aldyeda...That part is really descriptive and made the reader sad, as opposed to just realizing that the event was sad. In that first part, I almost felt the pain that Aldyeda would feel later and the confusion she feels right now.
Hmm...Aldyeda seems to be nicer. She still has that bit of anger at the beginning, but she likes Athalia and Darren. Perfectly done. She has that potential to become Eremin but still has her friends.
Really conflicting with Darren and Jezebel! Poor Aldyeda and Athalia! What will happen to them?
It's cool how you make them know their powers but not be obsessed with them...But not so uninterested in them that it's strange.
Lots of characterization with Sean! He acts like Score-same bored, carefree, mocking attitude. He has a lot of compassion for his mother- just like the Book of Doom said! He loved his mother more than anyone else...
Oh God. What happened to Shanara? You write out her emotions fantastically!
Oh God again. Who IS that man? That...EVIL GUY! Is it ORACLE? Sorry...I doubt it...Just because of the black...LOL. That isn't Oracle, is it?
I'm a little confused. "The 'innocent child ceased to exist, and what took his place was even more horrifying than that which had originally changed him." I don't understand that. It's the same kid, right? But his personality is different? Or is it a different person? I THINK it is a change in his personality, but I'm not sure...That line was a little confusing. But it was well-written!
Salzar Dreid? Wow. That sounds a lot like Shalar Domain, and the last name sounds like Droid, which is what people on Pixel's planet were. Poor Salzar, he's been dumped. The characterization fits Pixel well...Except the horrible planner and organizer and illogical. But hey, this is a young Nantor, not Pixel. He has a low self-confidence, doesn't he?
The air was crackling? How interesting!
Definitely something Helaine would say-she doesn't need protection. Aldyeda must feel really angry at Darren for calling her a child and saying that all women need protection!
I didn't really feel the suspense when the arrows shot where their heads were. Maybe one of them could have said something or that could have been described a little more so I would be scared along with them? Just a suggestion.
Darren seems really regretful when he is about to kill her. Awesome how he throws the dagger down! I like how Darren defends her. It's only a scratch...yeah right. A fingernail causes a scratch, not a sword! But that isn't a bad thing that he said that. It's actually good. He's trying to be macho and he uses an understatement. It seems like something he would say.
I like how it was realistic. More men came along. They didn't get to have a long period of romantic happy time. Realistic that way. :)
I cracked up when she said "That's a dead wasp, Athalia." Hilarious! But not to the point that it distracts from the seriousness of the situation.
A vampire? How interesting! But it probably isn't a vampire...I bet it is a creature from the Diadem. Unless it is a vampire from the Diadem. And they will tell Athalia and Aldyeda about the Diadem?
One thing I noticed is that they all ended at major problem spots. Just like John Peel's first book. All three had no clue about each other and met.
Will their cliffhanger endings end up with them meeting each other like John Peels, or will it be different? Not that either way is bad. Just wondering.
I REALLY like your writing style! It is very descriptive. You have an excellent word choice. Keep writing! I hope someone else reviews so you can update! And I love the idea of a story on the original Triad. You are AWESOME. Keep up the amazing work!
| MachinShin13 chapter 1 . 10/11/2006
Alright hun you posted...now u wait till u get reviews.