|Reviews for Dreaming On: Renewed Dreams|
| Shiva the Sarcastic chapter 3 . 1/4/2008
Is Alice going to be in this story? Anywho, cool chapter. Glad to see you involved Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.
| Shiva the Sarcastic chapter 2 . 1/4/2008
Pretty cool. I want to see where you're going with this.
| Shiva the Sarcastic chapter 1 . 1/4/2008
Awesome prologue. I can't wait to read the rest of it. Thanks for the lovely review.
| Bookworm0987 chapter 1 . 3/26/2007
| Brent-Ka chapter 4 . 2/18/2007
Nice. Extra points for the both the flashbacks and Oswald. Dialouge is much improved, action is now moving. Things are looking up, besides some minor spelling errors, but pah, everyone's got 'em.
I realize it's bad form to use the review boards to voice personal opinions unrelated to the work, but the first character with personality was Felix. That's what most critics agree what was wrong with early animation, the other characters, instead of finding their own voice, copied said cat. (Ew. Bad pun) Our rabbit friend here wasn't much different, outside of a few "Rabbits breed a lot" jokes. Even the earliest Mickey titles suffered form this a bit until Disney managed to shape his character a bit better.
Drat. A fanboy rant. And on Felix too. I have no shame. _;
| Brent-Ka chapter 3 . 2/18/2007
Same issues as the last chapter, not much to say here. Glad to see you're spending some more emotional investment in Amy's personality though.
However...on a personal level, Walt's ghost threw me a little bit for a loop. I don't know whether to feel what Amy's feeling or laugh until I squirt milk out my nose. He just seemed so (and I mean this in the most non-offensive way possible) god-like for some reason. You've treated him with respect yes, but his presence seemed a little overwhelming. (Although to be honest, Amy probably felt that herself.) Just a tad rattling to me, that's all.
| Brent-Ka chapter 2 . 2/18/2007
Okay, slight problem here. You need pronouns. Seriously, seriously need them. Reading "[So and So] said" after nearly EVERY quote looks amateurish. As a side note, using the word "said" brings things to a standstill. You've done a pretty nice job of avoiding it but consider eliminating it completely unless absolutely necessary.
Heheh...I got away with a couple of fanfiction pieces myself back in high school. And yes the teachers actually DID clamp down after a couple of PoTC fangirls handed in a couple stories. Nice nod.
On Amy's writing process, that is excellent, excellent, excellent! I realize this may or may not be a plot device, but it's important to remember that the best of writing, I mean real honest writing you just SEE. It's the characters that drive you to craft the story around them.
And there I go ranting again...really gotta keep that in check...
| Brent-Ka chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
Heh. I had every intention of summing up all 4 chapters in a mega-review, but it was getting out of hand even by my own standards, so I hope you don't mind if I break it up to a chapter-by-chapter review. Truly sorry, I know these are annoying.
For a prologue this works very well. Things are static and waiting to be placed in motion, and you conveyed that sense maybe a little too well. The concluding event jarred things up a little too much, but I realize you probably couldn't have eased in to it unless you doubled the length. So far, very nice.
One tiny inconsistency, (or maybe not, it just bothered me) Near the beginning Minnie seemed to have very hazy memories about the diorama, how come she seems to suddenly remember it's layout near-perfectly?
| theferretmenace chapter 4 . 2/18/2007
Wow... this is really good. And your chpater's aren't that short I've seen much shorter lol.
| Mary Lillian Johnson chapter 4 . 2/16/2007
Aw! It's so good, short, and sweet! (whistles) No corrections! This wonderfully beautiful tale is so merrily gay! (definition of gay: happy) It's thrilling as well!
Mary Lillian Johnson
| Shiva the Sarcastic chapter 4 . 2/11/2007
Wonderful. I love this story. Never stop writing. Please update soon.
| Aquarian Wolf chapter 4 . 2/10/2007
Great to see another chapter of this! I really like this story. The line about Fantasyland being crowded brought a smile to my face. That little patch is ALWAYS packed! I need to head to Liberty Square via Adventureland and up through Frontierland to avoid it, no matter how few people may be at the park that day.
Quick question: Does DL have the never moving Peter Pan line, too? It's usually an hour and a half wait, whether it's summer or some random Fall week day. Odd considering it's a two minute ride with cars continously moving and loading/unloading. I have a theory the tip of the Bermuda Triangle rests somewhere in the queue... :-p
Keep up the great work!
| Writing4ever4God chapter 1 . 1/8/2007
Hey there! Lauren here. i Hope you're doing well. I Got your review for ALice's Secret. I Really apprecaite what you said. And I'm glad you liked it. I was just owndering if you ahve MSN Messenger. IF so, we can chat about AIW and other Disney stuff. You can find my MSN Messenger screen name on my page here. Also, your stoires are really cool! And I'm going to update Alice's Secret sometime this week. It's only going to have one more chapter at best. But i promise, it will be good!
| sotf4 chapter 3 . 12/3/2006
Roger! It's Roger Rabbit!
Great premise, I can't wait to see what you'll do with it.
| Aquarian Wolf chapter 3 . 10/17/2006
Very cool! And even spooky at times. :D
Hmm...Yes I think I know who the rabbit is. ;)
Keep up the great work!