|Reviews for Exodus of Dawn|
| Shelbs13 chapter 7 . 2/4/2010
This is deep, man. Like so deep I can't see the bottom! It is really making me think and I'm just a kid technically! It is just... really really deep.
| Lilyblue chapter 13 . 3/12/2009
The tone of the story is interesting. Edwards stilly mopey- but not to the point I want to strangle him. He's definitely got a weird sense of humour completed by his awkward vampire habbits.
Also, love Bella here. She sounds more like a teenager- not to the point that she drives me nuts, but enough to make her believable. No matter how "mature" a teenager is, I don't think Meyer's Bella even exists.
I'm a little confused by the sequence of the story. I was burning with curiousity about the chapter where Jasper and Emmett and Edward meet up with the wolves. So my question is, are the chapters sequential, or any moving from different time points?
I'm really loving this story. It's definitely something different and new compared to a lot of the other fics being written in the fandom. I really hope your inspiration comes back soon!
| shaid chapter 12 . 2/17/2009
I know what it feels like to have your story die a sudden death at the hand of technology. When I was 16, I'd written 75 pages of my first story, nine months of work at that point. May father forgot to check a disk before formatting it (this was way back when we still had 3 and 1/4 inch floppies) and destroyed my work. Took me 2 weeks before I could speak to him. Never finished the story.
THis is good so far, though I'd seeing a few grammar issues, nothing earth shattering. Have you thought about getting a beta? It might help? Most of your problems seem to be with word choice; occasionally you've picked a word that sounds like it might mean what you're trying to convey, but ends up being confusing. It's a common problem I've noticed here.
On a much more positive note, I really love the non-linear structure! like a series of one-shots, but not. It's great.
Kepp up the good work! and thank you for providing such wonderful entertainment. :-)
| Guest chapter 13 . 6/2/2008
You did a nice job with this chapter, but as for your "update to current events" strategy, what will you do in Augist when Breaking Dawn comes out? Will you revamp (pun intended) again? Also, I think it's slightly ironic that Edward proffesses a need to respect Charlie's parental authority and then flagrantly goes behind Charlie's back to spend the night with Bella. I know it's in the book, but I still think it's ironic. Anyways, nice job with the chapter. Keep up the good work
| ChieriAn9eL chapter 13 . 6/1/2008
“You have no right to be believed, not with how hard you’ve worked to share my bed with me already.” haha...
That was wonderful writing. You did a good job exploring the Charlie's relationship with Edward, and his relationship with Bella pertaining to Edward. Good characterization!
| Warui-Usagi chapter 13 . 6/1/2008
I just love how thought provoking your pieces are. I was so excited when I saw that you'd updated...and this was well worth the wait. :) This exploration of Bella and Charlie's relationship was a wonderful read, and Edward's insightfulness on the whole issue was downright fascinating! Overall, I enjoyed it immensley. Can't wait for more!
| siruisblack18 chapter 12 . 4/3/2008
loved this! especially when Charlie had come home, and Edward still refused to leave :)
| Orietta Rose chapter 12 . 3/10/2008
I love how each is it's own little story, so you need to update again really soon so I can read some more!
| imhuntingforwitches chapter 12 . 2/25/2008
"For her, badminton and cliff diving was no different: she’d still find a way to accidentally kill herself."
Haha, I giggled there. So true; so true. Bella in PE scenes are always fun to read.
| imhuntingforwitches chapter 11 . 2/25/2008
"If you don't like it, say so dammit." Emmett seethed.
I really like how you don't make Emmett this damn happy-go-lucky guy. Sure Emmett may be more of a joker than the others, but he's not stupid or perpetually idiotic as most other writers characterize him as.
A CLIFF HANGER! What gives? Hopefully it'll be answered in the next chapter. But you know, I never thought about whether the quantity of voices that Edward hears ever hinders his power...that would be a very interesting thing to ponder.
| imhuntingforwitches chapter 10 . 2/25/2008
First off, I have to say, DO NOT apologize for your ranting! Believe me, I'm rather famous on the Twilight Lexicon and on YouTube for that very reason. If you have a YouTube account, I'll send you an example of one of my many rants and give you a run for your money. (I'd rather not send it in a PM because it'd be pretty hard to read.) Now, onto the chapter comments!
"...if there was bloodshed… I would pay for it very dearly."
Haha, that line had me cracking up for some reason. When I read that, I visualized Edward with his head down mumbling and Bella as the scary mother who you don't want to cross.
Wow, now this would've been one suspenseful chapter! Thank goodness I started reading late so I can just read the next one!
| imhuntingforwitches chapter 9 . 2/24/2008
Ah, wow, such an unbelievably angsty relationship! I normally don't go for fanfics that write Bella and Edward's relationship like that but you make it work.
| imhuntingforwitches chapter 8 . 2/24/2008
*scary music* Dun dun dun... Charlie's coming home. Haha, no worries though. This IS super-fast Edward we're talking about.
| imhuntingforwitches chapter 7 . 2/24/2008
Huh. I'm intrigued by most of M. Night Shyamalan's films, so I'll probably check it out. Thanks for the recommendation!
| imhuntingforwitches chapter 6 . 2/24/2008
Ah, addressing yet another key concern very...eloquently? Well, I do have to say that you use vocabulary and language very well. Haha, I especially liked your use of the word "lackadaisically." It sounds so much better than lazily, doesn't it?
Oh, and thank you for the explanation to my question in chapter 3. Actually, I was going to ask if you liked me replying to every single chapter. Some writers don't like that. Apparently you do if you "overly reply" haha. Please do continue! It shows that you read my reviews.