Reviews for Tracks of Pain
Starmischief chapter 1 . 10/9/2012
Well written, it's amazing! -Hoody
Winds of March chapter 18 . 2/27/2007
I must say I enjoyed this story very much. Having been a long-time Warcraft fan and WoW player since beta, I felt immersed in a small corner of a familiar world that gave it a new sense of depth. The writing style and characterization were masterful. Juggling multiple original characters can be difficult at best, disasterous at worst, but this was executed with clarity for which I applaude.

My only source of disappointment came from Suul's finale at the end. After he was built up as the master villain, I guess I was expecting his...departure to have a bit more sense of the epic. Even Golonda's end seemed a bit contrived. It seemed that the sense of redemption upon her death becomes overwritten in the epilogue. I may just be picking at plot points, but for me dramatic strength would have been greatly enhanced if one or the other had occured. Trying to add both just canceled each other out.

Still, these notes do not detract from the overall creation, and certainly do not deter me from adding this to my favorite list. Cheers!
InnerFire chapter 18 . 1/4/2007
Wow, this was really well done. Kept me reading way longer than I should have been lol. The characters were well developed, the plot was good, and even though it didn't have a lot of standard murder mystery elements, it just felt like a mystery, especially towards the beginning.

Putting in that chapter about Dagh's past really expanded on his character, and you kept enough of an internal dialogue going with Crys the whole time, that his bit about feeling guilty for using magic capped it off really well.

I think the strongest aspect of your writing is the description you put into everything. The setting really comes alive, and you can fell like you're there. Don't see that level of detail too much around here, and for some people it comes across as too much, but I thought it worked really well.

I only have a couple of criticisms. I loved the chapter about Dagh's past, and the story behind Matilda, it just added on a whole other dimension to his character. But, the speech was /way/ too formal and academic sounding. He was using words that were way too big for a dwarf, much less a drunken one. Also, sometimes it seemed like the narrator was talking, and not him. There's a couple of other conversation like that too, but that was the big one.

In chapter 8, where Golondoa is assassinating Clearwater, the sex scene just seemed out of place. Maybe that's just me, but it seemed more like that once Godfather scene than anything else. (although the time-bubble thing with the throwing knives was awesome.)

And, probably the only other thing was typos. Nothing that huge, but stuff spellcheck misses, and they popped up pretty frequently.

Those aside, this was an awesome story, one of the better ones I've read here.
Bobbejan chapter 14 . 12/5/2006
This is fantastic, I cant remember the last story with a good banshee. Suul is awesome and his relationship with Mal'ganis is very original. Very good writing with a good update time. Keep it up!
Archangel of Shadows chapter 8 . 10/25/2006
This story is very well written. It's descriptive, exciting and the chapters are just the right length. I'm suprised you don't have more reviews, you deserve them.
Top Gear chapter 2 . 9/23/2006
I think that the story is very good and all, but with just in the prologue you seem to use so much emotion. I mean i am all in for a good emotional book, but you seem to put what could happen in the middle of the book in the first page.

Now i might be wrong about this but isn't the prologues purpose to give a general idea what time it is, if any disagree ments have been made imbeween races or nations, but yours seems to be going to much into the characters in the prologue.

Mabye you should just name it chapter 1.

But other then too much emotions in the prologue i think its pretty good. I will consider reading more of it when chapter 2, or chapter 3 if you agree with me, when it comes out.
Bobbejan chapter 2 . 9/22/2006
Oh goody! I read this when u posted it on wowvault and it was one of the best there! But for some reason u discontinued :(

Are u gonna continue past chapter 9 this time?