Hm...pretty good.

Tho, if they're canniballistic, shouldn't they eat each other?

And why didn't they eat the remnants of the pikmin during previous battles?

And shoudn't they have eaten them immediately?

Expecting good answers...SOON.

A new chapter. That's good. This chapter is the first one I had to wait for. Very well written. Keep up the good work, and get in a new chapter soon.

Awesome, lots of cyan development, loved how you put the Aurora in there.

And lo, they were indeed sick bastards. Damn cyans.

The combat and dialogue in this chapter is probably your best yet. I can't wait to see the continuation of this story...Note that I'm not complaining...I'm not eager for any sort of delay. ...Wait, that kind of sounds like complaining! AUGH! Y-you know what I mean! Update soon please! PLEASE!

Cannibalistic. Another reason to slaughter cyans. I'm sensing, with some disappointment I'll admit, that the rest of the story will take place in this area. Ah well, at least there will still be violence.

Very good chapter, though it seems like it was a bit rushed (I know better now), with several small spelling errors, missing symbols, and a couple gramatical problems.

Brilliant, you've really outdone yourself this time! The part with the cyans and the captured pikmin was really good for drawing readers in, and finsihing parts were simply epic! Keep up the good work!

10/5

yay, very good chapter, cant wait for the intense chapter!

Amazing. Simply amazing. Your chapters are incredibly descriptive, I can almost see the pikmin in their struggle to survive.

5/5 and favorited!

Your chapters show clear and clever planning. Pure brilliance.

This is great! Keep up the good work!

Just an idea. Brown Pikmin: No onions. Super slow. Helium-filled bodies. Can hover in the air, for short amounts of time. Flowers can shoot out spikes (Like the Mushroom Pikmin's old weapon.) that have ends that snap off, and rupture blood vessels. (Porcuine uills do this, too.)

Not bad.

Ideas: 5/5. Forcing the pikmin to become independant by sporing them. Absolutely brilliant. This is perhalps the greatest non-Olimar pik-fic possible.

Conventions: 4/5. I didn't really notice any errors.

Organization: 4/5. Chronological is usually easy and effective.

Sentence fluency/word choice: 3/5. I don't have much to comment on, just that I didn't particuarly like the word choice.

Voice: 4/5

I love this story.

Woot awesome.

Time for Pikmin 2.

Ah...his feelings are already spiralling out of control!

Wuzz gonna happen?

WUZZ GONNA HAPPEN!

WAZZGANNAHAPPN OR I BITE UR HEAD OFF!

Sorry bout that, I just like this story too much for my own good.

O_O

Awesome! I really did pinch myself, by the way. You can never be too sure, even with Christmas miracles like this one.

I have only one complaint: the chapter was too short. Even still, it feels very well written, even better than the last one, and you've had less time to work on it. Hopefully the next chapter will deliver on exposition and detail.

Also, I like the way you've brought a new character into the mix, evolved the existing character (the narrator), added another interesting angle to the story, and also given the existing plot a fresh conflict to solve. The multi-layered feel of this chapter sends literal shivers down my spine!

9/10

I liked the new chapters. I hope you update on this story as soon as you can.