Your grammar in these chapters (3 and 4) is a MAJOR improvement from the first two chapters. So, I won't be bugging you with that. Although, I did find it a bit weird that you put periods after the quotation marks, instead of before.

I liked the concept of how you made Mushroom Pikmin blood clear. Although, I wasn't the most fond of reading the desert crossing, as it made up practically half of these two chapters. I know you probably did it to show how they struggled to survive, but it still bugged me a bit. That fighting scene at the end of chapter 4 really made up for it though. Again, descriptions of everything were absolutely AMAZING. The descriptions of everything helps to give more flavor to the otherwise dull scenario that the desert seemed to give (again, it's just my opinion that I thought that the desert was dull. I mean, when aren't desert scenes dull?)

It's still early in the story, so I'm not going to really judge characterization that much, as the main character seems to be very fluctuated. Being a leader at some points, yet acting frustrated and needs reassurance at other times. Of course, it's still early as I said, so I'm being a bit more lenient on it.

Overall, these were a nice two chapters, and I liked your use of cliffhangers, as they really made you want to keep reading.

I'll be reviewing your story two chapters at a time. It makes it easier for me.

As to the story itself, I have to say that it was very original and very well executed. I also liked the characterization, and how the personality of the main character seemed to change as he turned into a Mushroom Pikmin.

Your descriptions of everything are AMAZING! I love how you're able to make an accurate description of everything, and how your metaphors are always spot on. Great job in that aspect!

Grammar... I'm a bit of a grammar nazi, so... I was a bit annoyed to see the numerous amounts of the little mistakes littered in these first two chapters. I was especially annoyed to see that in chapter 1 the main character says, "I ways up there too" with that extra "y", and in Chapter 2 you spelled "petals" as "peddles", and when describing the Bulborb, you said, "except for its mouth with was tanned" where you said "with" instead of "which". Because the story itself was so good though... I'll ignore the grammar mistakes, but I'll still note it out in my later reviews.

All in all, this was a VERY good first impression of the story. I'll make sure to keep reading and providing my feedback as I read.

Dear V Rex,
I absolutely loved your story. You are really adept at pouring emotions into your story, which made me cry a lot. I sincerely hope you continue to make such good fan fictions. Possibly a sequel? All I know is that you should eternally be in the pikmin hall of fame.
Your eternal fan,
Pikmin Biscuit

Besides the sorta-crap grammar, this is absolutely amazing. It'd be even better if someone cleaned this story up, but even now this story is one of the best on this site.

Wow... I know I haven't been there from the beginning, but I've been almost addictively reading all 21 chapters these past couple days. Your story reminds me of a Star Wars book I love called "Darth Bane: Path of Corruption," but I like the happy ending.

I'm actually creating my own kind of Pikmin fanfic and your story really helped me kind of figure out how I'd like to write my story.

Thank you for writing this epic story and the inspiration for my own story.

- Dylan Simons(Diran-kun)

Ps do you have an email, so I can possibly consult you on my story.

I DEMAND A SEQUEL... if you're still on fanfic i will personally spam your inbox, until you start writing a sequel.

So, I didn't know you didn't have the map and was checking it as I read to get a better understanding of what happened where. Everything you said made perfect sense. It was completely accurate, but either way the story was genius.

I thought he was being eaten by a creeping chrysanthemum in the last chapter, you know, with all the suicidal thoughts and such, but i guess not

Nooooo! You killed all his friends!

( you killed the yellow bud!

An Epic end to an epic story! Well done!

I've just finished reading the story... Amazing... simply amazing...

Thank you for all the joy you have brought me over the years. I'm also glad you gave tribute to your readers. You are in my opinion one of the greatest writers on this site. I hope you continue to do great things and bring joy to many people.

Hi, VRex. I'm too lazy to log in right now, but I just needed to see that this chapter was epic.

V rex, this is the best fanfic I have ever read. It's perplexing how good your writing is. When all the coloured pikmin came out of the forest and the white pikmin was leading with the flinger, I was like: "GO PIKMIN GO! GET THOSE CYANS!"