For some reason, when I read this, my brain put it to the tune of The Rains of Castomere.

Good job. I liked this. It's an interesting take on a conversation he could have possibly had with them before they were corrupted.

This is seriously awesome. Your description of the Nazgul, as seen through Sauron's eyes in anticipation of their future, is chillingly good. I can tell the work of an author who knows and loves the characters they write about inside and out, and this is it for sure! And so well deserved. The Nazgul are fascinating, compelling, tragic and terrifying all at once. And strangely beautiful, too. You've captured that beauty in such elegant detail that it feels fragile in a way, like a delicate ice sculpture. I hope that sounds like a compliment because it is! The second verse really stands out to me in describing their surreal beauty.

Then, in the next two verses, you go right to a hard-hitting depiction of their evil and their harsh and frightening nature. Or un-nature, as it's clear here how these are changes from their grim, dark, but very mortal original selves. "Swifter than death to the old" is a particularly good line. It gives a feeling of their unrelenting pursuit and power, and makes me hear an echo of their horses' inexorable footfalls as they ride with ghostly thunder...

Finally, as one more bonus for your reader, this whole poem is written with and through a wonderful portrayal of Sauron. I can feel his power, his dark vision, his remorselessness and cruel focus, through every line of his words here. And yet he offers the Nine his favor here too, at the end. However dark and tainted that is, it is not without its rewards and dark glory.

Kudos for an excellent piece!

-Lysana

Wow! Absolutely wow – this is so good. I loved reading this. Not only is it traditional poetry with rhyme and meter, which I prefer over free verse, but it’s good traditional poetry, and added to that, it’s an excellent portrayal of Sauron, and I love the ideas about the Nazgul that you show through Sauron’s thoughts. The imagery is fantastic as well, it flows beautifully, and it’s so powerful. I’m totally impressed and enthralled by this piece.

I don’t run across a lot of traditional poetry on this website, and when I do, more often than not, it’s not great poetry. Not so here! The rhymes never feel forced, and when you use assonance in the first stanza and last couplet, it works as well as the rhymes. It’s interesting how you changed the rhyme scheme throughout, and I liked it – it made it sound somehow more like natural speech, but still with the elegance of poetry, perfect for Sauron. It also kept it from getting monotonous or predictable at all, again perfect for Sauron. Same with the meter. You handle the meter skillfully, it flows and feels natural rather than forced, and although it’s not completely regular, that isn’t a problem at all. You make it all come together wonderfully to make something that technically works great. All the repeated “when”s in Sauron’s speech after the Nazgul’s questioning “when” made it powerful and driving, and you’ve got lovely alliteration going on with some of the lines (“When ice seems to follow your footsteps” or “When you are the spirit of silence”) and I loved the internal rhyme of the line “When your eyes can shine with the same light as mine”. Simply as a poem, I love it.

But not only is it a great poem, but this is a fantastic portrayal of Sauron, my favorite Tolkien character. I am amazed that in such a short piece you could so powerfully show Sauron’s complex personality. The elegance of the traditional verse, the way it flows, the music, all is perfect for Sauron and reminds me of his oratory skills. Just as Sauron the Deceiver would do, he makes this terrible fate sound appealing, even though the things he is saying aren’t necessarily desirable, like being cold and being his in body and soul. But you have him phrasing it in ways that are so beautiful and so darn seductive, that I want to become a Nazgul! You also have great word choices for Sauron; “entwined”, “favored”, “guardian”, “sought” – these are all words that give Sauron’s voice a lordly and heightened tone. You make him sound ancient and lordly without having to use thee-thou language. I loved the repetition of the first two lines as a closing couplet – that last line has such a threatening sound to it there at the end after his speech. This is one of the best portrayals of Sauron that I’ve seen. Absolutely wonderful.

You’ve also got some fantastic images and views of the Nazgul as Sauron sees them. I like how technically Sauron isn’t lying to them, but he’s painting their fate in a way that makes them want it. Although I loved all the lines, these were some of my favorites that I thought you used to show some interesting aspects of the Nazgul’s fate.

“When your eyes can shine with the same light as mine” – Wonderful! I already said I loved the music of this line, but I also love the image. Eyes are important with Sauron obviously and, of course, when the Nazgul become fully Nazgul, their eyes are all that one can see of them. Also, that they will gain the metaphorical “Eyes” of Sauron as well, for as his Eye can pierce through minds, shadows, and space, so they will be able to sense the Ring, pierce through the Ring-bearer’s thoughts, and “see” through the shadows. They are also Sauron’s “eyes”, searching for him when he is not able to. It’s amazing that you were able to summon all of that in a single line.

“When you are the lord of your own shadowed realm” – Here is one of those lines that describes a terrible fate that Sauron makes sound appealing. The “yet mortal” Nazgul are kings already, but Sauron offers them each a “shadowed realm”, so vague, yet powerful. And so true. When they become fully Nazgul, they are all trapped in their state between living and dead. Yes, it’s a realm that’s all theirs and one that is definitely “shadowed”, since they become nothing more than shades. I love the wording of this, and it makes me take a new look at the whole Nazgul wraith state.

“And when you can call out my name without tone” – Fantastic line! I love the sound of it, but it also is very strong and is a great look at the relationship of Sauron and the Nazgul. Names are so powerful in Middle-earth and the word “sauron” is a dreadful word, but the Nazgul will speak that name emotionlessly, fearlessly, uncaringly. Many of the free peoples of Middle-earth won’t even speak his name, calling him The Nameless One, but the Nazgul shall speak it without a second thought. When the Nazgul can speak Sauron’s name tonelessly, they really have ceased to be Men and the process is complete.

“When you are not one but are Nine on your own!” – This is possibly my favorite line. This, the climax of Sauron’s speech and the poem, is so wonderfully worded and so powerful. The idea of them being “Nine on [their] own” was such a unique way to look at it, but was perfectly true and enlightening. It shows how the Nazgul cease to be their own entities – they are all extensions of Sauron in a way – thus they, as the Nine, are no longer individuals, but each one is also completely alone, “on [his] own”, cut off from every living person (and every dead person), each trapped in his own little wraith world. Reading this line sent chills down my spine. I loved the way you phrased it.

Again, I could have probably gone line by line telling you what I loved about each one, but that would get a little repetitive and lengthy. These particular lines jumped out at me even more than the rest though, and made me think about Sauron and the Nazgul in new and interesting ways.

Thank you so much for sharing this brilliant piece of work! I stand in awe of your talent and I hope to read more by you in the future. This is fabulous, is going straight to my favorites, and is beautifully terrifying. Great work!

Keep on writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur

Wonderfully morbid, and I believe you portrayed Sauron so perfectly without even needing something novel-length. Great descriptions, and very powerful. I'd love to hear more of this. )

So Spoke The Lord the face of the so called free shall they flee to escape the will of the true Dark have captured the essential thought behind the mind of it up.