Reviews for The Gunblade Saga: Reload
Solid Shark chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
Rewriting the whole thing, huh? That should be interesting; I really liked the original version, so an improved version should be even better...

Looks like a good start, embellishing on your original version of the game's intro; clearly the same style as your battles in Legacy of the Chimera. Well, as far as constructive criticism goes, I've just got one piece of advice so far: don't over-compensate. As I know from a certain amount of -painful- experience, there IS such a thing as going overboard with descriptions (that's one reason I'm not so fond of Tom Clancy's later books; a four hundred page story in an eight hundred page book).

I'm not saying you're at that point now, of course; just figured I should mention it. Right now, everything looks good to me. ~Solid Shark
Anon chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
Trying again at this are we? You've got an awful lot of in progress works now... 5, right?

So, comments. It was noticeable how much greater the quality of the later parts of Gunblade Saga were than the earlier. Earlier parts occasionally contained irrelevant tangents and were far shorter with some chapters with almost nothing happening. Middle of disc 2 onward, what you wrote is pretty tough to top. I would recommend going on with this normally up to that point, because there's a lot of reward to it. After that though, the Gunblade Saga you already have is extremely strong, and I'd start seriously mucking the canon storyline up in Reload, sort of like you did with Randolph and Dollet at the end of Disc 2 in your original, but far more so.

My reasoning for this is that there's a whole crapload of things in Final Fantasy VI that were obviously included for the purposes of making this a fun game. One big example is Ultimecia's castle (or even the Northern Crater, or other FF final dungeons). Often it doesn't make since for the villain to just hide out there and wait, but Square uses final dungeons to give the player their hardest encounters and puzzles, and FF veterans look forward to them. But this is written work, and you don't have to put stuff like that in there.

Maybe instead of Ultimecia's Castle, the whole group has to romp through a destroyed, futuristic world after moving through Time Compression, investigating ruins and slums for clues of Ultimecia's whereabouts - a lot of elements of Ronin could be used for such a world. This is just one example; there's so many things that could be reworked and changed, both early in the game and later. If I wrote a novelization, I'd drop the Fire Cavern entirely and go straight to the SeeD exam, adding some interludes with Quistis to set up the Squall-Quistis relationship before its abrupt end. The Fire Cavern was included for tutorial purposes, primarily. I don't see it belonging in a novel. The same goes with almost any GF details (since Square neglected their storylines, or maybe you could add depth to them?)

To sum this up, you've already got a nearly canon novelization of fabulous quality. A redux like this I'd use for a exploring innumerable variations and details, far beyond merely putting FF8 in written form.

Comments for this chapter? You'll have to excuse me for passing this time... I'm not too into military and action scenes, but when it comes to the chapters with a lot of character interactions and plot, you might see me writing a fairly sizable review.

I look forward to where this goes.
JadeAlmasy chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
I'm ecstatic that your redoing this story! not only is it my favorite fanfic but also one of the best written fanfic that I have ever read. and this time like you asked I'm going try and help you improve the story, by pointing out things that I see, that are not necessarily wrong but that don't fit or seem right.

they only thing that I really found wrong with this chapter was this line:

"His white coat flew out behind him as he parried a blow from the heavier gunblade, his steel gray eyes boring into his opponent with a mixture of amusement, respect, and arrogance"

I believe that you were talking about Seifer here and his eyes are green. for a second I thought you were talking about Squall till I read the Amusement respect ect.

other than that there's nothing that I see wrong or out of place.

Glad this story's back and is going to get better!

Kati
spikestrife chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
When I saw the title of my e-mail for this I as like... "What the hell is he THINKING! Rewritting a fantastic novelisation!"

But I am actually very pleased with the quality of the prelude. Straight along the lines of the opening FMV but with enough extra things to make it a worthy reread. I'm guessing that Seifer uses GF Junctions to gain better strength?

Really looking forward to the next lot of chapters to come this way, and even though I know the majority of what will happen, the hopes of seeing those events in better quality writing is getting my quite psyched to read this story again.

Good luck with the re-write and don't do anything that may disgrace what was already (in my mind) a masterful writing of Final Fantasy VI

spikestrife
CaptainSkittlez chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
Hold no punches? Don't pull back. Okay. I hate it. You know why I hate it? Because my chair is completely wrecked from last time I read the original and Chimera, from being on the edge of it so damn often! And I know it's gonna happen all over again!

But seriously. Powerful opening chapter. The duel was always one of my favoruite points of the game, because it was really the only time there's some fighting going on in an FMV to really astonish us until the Garden -ahem- 'battle'. So, I'm glad that it's this good. I really like the new description for the gunblades.

To be honest, when I first saw the title, Reload, I thought.. _ Dude.. Is this like, Gunblade entirly from Edea/Ultimecia and Seifer's POV? Though, even though it turned it wasn't, I'm still really hyped about reading this. It, in my opinion, will be the defining thing I'll be reading this year.. minus revision materials for school -_- Anyway, thanks for another chair-breaking, spell-binding, cliff-hanging story to keep us all on edge.

With regards,

Tamarani
Nightfire04 chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
You psychotic, witty man. I can't believe that you're going back to "fix" Gunblade Saga...and yet, there's a strange measure of awe at the fact that you are. It will be an undertaking, no doubt, and I wish you the best of luck in the endeavor.

That being said, the first redone chapter looks very nice. Good description, especially; I could see the opening scene playing in my head from memory, and the strikes and movements were well-described and accurate. However, I noticed a few grammatical errors that I'll show below.

-

“She released the petal, and her mouth opened in wonder, for it had changed, to a white feather, which the wind caught and blew into the sky.”

The comma after changed is unnecessary.

“On the end of the handle of the Revolver was a short chain, at the end of which was a small, crafted emblem; the head of roaring lion.”

I believe you left out the word ‘a’ before ‘roaring lion.’

“The blast slammed into the steel blade, which deflected most of the power behind the blow, but the potent burst of energy hurled the smaller man onto his rear, sending him skinned backward across the damp stone and soil.”

Skidding instead of skinned, perhaps?

-

I know how much you want to make it look exceedingly neat, accurate, and well-described, and so I'll do my best to help by helping you fix grammatical errors in the work. Of course, I won't leave out other notes, because grammar isn't the only thing that matters.

Again, good luck with the rewrite. I'm looking forward to see how you improve on an already well-written novelization.

~Nightfire
CultOfOwls chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
Wow! This story is really excellent. For the first time in a long while, I'm actually excited about a story of this site. An excellent piece of written work, this never loses the sight of its purpose and has a lot of description, which I really like. It makes me proud to like Final Fantasy VI.
Frytas-90 chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
GREAT MAN! it's too cool to be true! Weeps tears of joy. IOf I could describe it in one word I would use a word from my language ZAJEBISTE!
BlueStrife chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
Chimera/Gunblade was awesome as hell. Edit this and make me drool more. Seriously.

D!
Tain Shari chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
I never get tired of reading this Prologue Duel. It brings back pleasant memories of long hours playing that great game, and its excellent opening sequence and music(which I always hear playing in my head whenever I read the Prologue).

I noticed the subtle changes you made in this one. It reads better, much better. Lol, It never occured to me before(though in hindsight, it should have U) that if Seifer used magic, that it also means he's junctioned during the duel; Squall never had a chance here. :P

Words cannot express how much I look forward to, how eager and excited I'am, at the propect of reading The Gunblade Saga as written with your, now, much improved skills as a writer since the inception of the original Saga.

'til next update.
Ark12 chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
I happened upon the original Gunblade series a while back and was incredibly impressed by your innate (I'm assuming) ability to grind out the finer detail that almost, if not everyone, overlooks when they first undertake a project of such magnatude.

I believe it was that one part where you had Squall upgrading his Gunblade? Really, that was hardcore description and your use of intermediate to advanced vocabulary really helps to bring the text to life. You really know how to paint the whole picture and not just the view.

Anyways, unto this story :P, I sort of skimmed over the original and than read this one again to sort out any MAJOR differences and noticed a few (remember I skimmed) including the new description for the gunblades which, in my opion, better utilized in the latter story...Anywho, I'm really looking forward to where this redux of the story is headed and am patiently waiting for the next installment!

-The Ark
Deus Ex Sub Ubi chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
Woah...

You're reediting -all- of Gunblade Saga? That's much, lots of work, for something already critially acclaimed.

So, we need a new term. Megabadcore isn't going to work any longer if you really get this done.

You and your massive projects dude, but keep up the excellent work!
cloudfightback chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
I'm going to keep my eye on this. So far, I can't see mistakes. You got no idea how much I want to see it improved. I like the other one but I can see tons of mistakes. I'm just telling my opinion of it.

Anyway, I'm the first reviewer so go me! Reply back please. I want to know your opinions about the other FF8 Novel. I'm trying to learn more writing skills so I can pass it to my student Amy.

She is learning to write Willy Wonka stories and as much I hate Willy Wonka, I will help her to do better. Until then, she is my student.

So I would like to know where you get your muse from. Well, I going to write the next chapter of my story. If you want, have a look and tell me what mistakes I have made. Seeya.
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