|Reviews for Tempered in Water|
| Yo chapter 3 . 12/17/2006
Perfecto! Truly an unique idea - Haku transferring her loyalty to Naruto as opposed to a more samurai-ish style of suicide when the leader dies. Unlike Haku giving up Zabuza, both doing something, or even Haku's past being changed (beyond his gender), you have a plan that, I think, is fully appropiate considering Naruto's nindo and Haku's beliefs (now assuming her's allows her to change who she follows).
I shall admit, I am a hopeless romantic (only with written works), but your reasoning and your plot make it imperative that we see the dedication to the nindo and changing people for the better, like until the manga time skip. I agree that romance should definitely be on the backburner for the sake of the story.
The potential with Naruto and Haku working together to fulfill their dreams is unimaginable (I am going overboard, eh?), as is being seen with Naruto determination to improve (though I did think that his reasoning was -slightly- dubious, but I suppose the simple knowledge that Haku survived could be enough. Oh yeah; screw Uchiha! (Well, unless the worshipping of him helps Naruto and Haku in the end)
I hope you update soon!
| LastStand85 chapter 3 . 12/17/2006
I like this :) It's well-written, and the reasoning behind the alterations to the original story actually are pretty good. The interaction between Haku and Naru is pretty entertaining as well. I look forward to seeing where you will take this.
| Geonitz chapter 1 . 12/17/2006
Can't wait for an update!
| Frozen Megami chapter 3 . 12/16/2006
*Jaw hits the ground* Haku has a new person to follow. Naruto has a new person to protect. Sakura is FINALLY figuring out that Sasuke isn't worth it. Sasuke is acting like a spoiled brat... I love your story!
| lucas13 chapter 3 . 12/16/2006
Great chapter! Bit long to update but at least it was a good size. The whole "will you follow me?" thing was pretty cool too. Oh, great work at making Sasuke and Sakura reactions in a beliavable way.
| skaped chapter 3 . 12/16/2006
awesome! keep it up
| Wolf among sheep chapter 3 . 12/16/2006
Great story so far my favorite story please update when you get the time 9/10.
| DvorakQ chapter 3 . 12/16/2006
I'm ecstatic to have stumbled upon this fic. Do keep updating on a regular basis!
Things that I loved about this fic. Great writing skills: although you say your work is unbeta'd the quality of this fic is superior to 99.5% of the fics floating around. I really do enjoy how this fic flows and the char development is wonderful as well. I could go on and on... however please don't make gaara join together w/Nhaku. Having naruto/haku/gaara is getting lame and I sorta like the idea of an unredeemable child.
Cheers! You've gota great fic keep doing what your doing.
| FrostedEmber chapter 3 . 12/16/2006
I was expecting Haku to do that Naruto-sama thing (or something like it) ever since the start of the chapter but it still got me to go "Whoa."
I definietly like the chaos theory you have going on here and I hope to read more from you soon.
| Kyuubi Fanatic chapter 3 . 12/14/2006
Another amazing chapter. I really want to see Sasuke's reaction when he finds out he got his ass handed to him by a girl! _ Ah...good times. Anyway, kool ending w/ Naruto and Haku, look forward to seeing how you develop it. Keep up the good work and update soon! The only bad thing about reading epic fics is the long wait between chapters :-( But the content is usuaally more than worth it XD Good luck to ya! (.o)
| Manatheron chapter 3 . 12/14/2006
This is one HELL of a good fic, With the sheer number of them I've read over the years, I find it hard to see anything that can truly tug on my heart, (Though I admit the Humorous ones still get to me easily)But you have done so with astonishing ease.
Please keep up the Breath-taking work,
| li.u 88 chapter 3 . 12/14/2006
That was some great work, especially for an amateur writer. I had an extremely good time reading it. The writing is nice and goes fluently. Then there are next to no mistakes in spelling and grammar...impressive considering you work without a beta. Your character developement and dynamics are very well-done and pulled off in a most believable way. The characters stay totally IC all the time and their reaction and adaptation to certain changes seems natural for their personality and is thus quite plausible. It all just fits neatly into the character frame canon offers. Part of why it's so convincing is that things happen gradually and at a moderate pace with lots of self-reflection to back it up. Admittedly, I'm not a great fan of that much introvert talking but that level of detail is also one of the biggest qualities of your fic. I'm glad though that you'll tone it down a bit in the next chapter/s. Hopefully, you'll manage to create an adequate balance between the talking/angsting and the more...exciting parts. Just throw in a well-written fight scene like in ch.1 now and then and I'll be a happy reader :)
Also, you are one my great hopes concerning the plot and Haku. I've yet to see a decent story with a living Haku in it. It either ends up with him becoming completely OC, just tagging along with no real purpose for the plot or being best friends with Naruto in no time and forming the invincible dream team. Your Haku seems to have a greater significance in the future and their relationship turned out to be quite interesting to say the least. So I hope that you'll make the most out of it.
Still have to see a 'major' flaw in your story yet, so no 'constructive criticism' for you. Well, perhaps for the next chapter :)
Till then I'll keep waiting.
| St. Alicon chapter 3 . 12/14/2006
You did a good job with this, not ZOMG TEH AWSOMENess!1 but good nun-the-less, especially for an amutar writer.
I've long toyed with an idea similar to this, its nice to see it already being done, saves me the hassle P
! ... !
!~!~!Notes For Improvement~!~!~!~!~!
! ... !
- You do well with characterization, so theres not much there except that you need to flesh out Haku a little more, she still seems a little 2d.
- Also, if you get the time talk with your betas (If you have them) about scenes your not sure came out right, most of the time they'll be able to give you some helpful insight.
" This is good but _ needs a little improvement, or _ seems a little unrealistic, give some more thought as to why they'd do such and make it a little clearer to the reader." And so on (Remeber, an unexpericenced beta can be just as good as an experienced one, people have to learn somehow afterall, it seems to me that stories get the most benifit when they have more than one beta, it helps appeal to diffrent readers tastes and such)
- (Not so much as someting for improvement, just some advice) Don't worry so much on getting updated on time, people may sound pissy but they'll forget about it soon enough. Just make sure you're not months over due and it'll work out.
- Your atmosphere was pretty good, you got a good balance in but I think you could use a touch more detail in some scenes, and flesh out places in others, just 'in the forest' may be enough to get a good mental picture for those who've seen the anime/manga but alwasy go under the assumption that the reader has no idea what/where your talking about.
- Don't have a beta?, think you don't need one? Get one anyway. You'll find they're very helpful for stoping you making stupid decisons. And its always nice to have someone to share ideas with.
~ Tis the end
Yeah, if you ARE looking for a beta or someone to ask for help I got some free time, and I'm sure I can get a few others to help as well. Though I wouldn't count on it too heavlily, _ They're kinda lazy and I'm not into agreeing for others without consent.
But I know some experinced authors and talk to them on a semi-regular basis they might be able to give me some tips I can pass along to you, if your interested that is... No promises on that one. _ Really I'm not sure what I can do besides beta'ing but I'm trying to be helpful so, bleh.
Don't take my awful internet spell as what I do normally, I'm going to kill whoever decided to put the 'Shift' and 'Enter' keys next to each other.
Contact me by Pm or whatever if your interested. (I'm not overly experienced as a beta, but I've done some work before)
| JohnnyG chapter 3 . 12/14/2006
Awesome chapter. The part at the end with Haku was particularly good. Keep up the great work.
| xRaYlOx chapter 3 . 12/14/2006
Fantastic story im completely hooked :)
cant wait for your next update, guud stuffz