|Reviews for Harry Potter: The Dark Wraith|
| pennywise123 chapter 1 . 9/26/2014
update this story please
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/23/2014
I can tell that the characters are OOC from the summary.
This is not a good sign.
| dark nightmere chapter 9 . 8/9/2013
I think that Harry should manage to retrive the book and save his friends while escapeing grimwald place but the battle should many lifes because Harry should manage to injure Pale forcing her back and kil Ron by slashing him to pieces. I think that Dumbledore should try to get rid of Harry yet again but fail because Nicholas should punch the old bastard in the face knocking him over giving Harry time to escape as Voldemort falls back. I think that Bellatrix should reliese that they cannot defeat all three fractions and will have to make an alliance with one of them to crush the other two. I think that Pale will be furius with Zacarius for his failure to capture Harry and getting wounded by the wraith. I think that Voldemort shell make an alliance with the fire wizards if only to get rid of Dumbledore and the necromancers. I think that Harry should slowly heal from his fight with Dumbledore and Voldemort as he heals his hatred should incress knowing that he cannot trust the fire wizards he most come up with a new strategy to defeat the two dark lords. I think that Dumbledore should know that he cannot trust anyone now and the loss of Ron will play heverily on his mind because of his failure to devor Harry's soul the boy has returned as a wraith a creature that he cannot devor the soul from and it would take a hole lord of his power to turn Harry human again but he has to stop him because Harry is far more dangerus than Voldemort as a wraith. I think that Voldemort should be angerery but not Furius because he knows that a wraith can be banished back to the underworld with the right spells and only him and Bellatrix know them. I think that Hermione should begin steadying to become a necromaner to help Harry in his fight agenist evil and know that she most help him to stop Dumbledore who she knows is the real villon now. I think that Pale should know that if she makes an alliance with Voldemort it can help her in the fight agenist the ice wizards and Dumbledork who she hates for what he did to her and her people. I think that Harry should return to Hogwarts to continue his education and to learn more about his abiltys if only to destroy all his enimies.
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 9/25/2012
Okay, you're probably going to ignore everything I say, but I've just read the first chapter and I'd like to review it.
First off, the characters are so OOC I think I just might cry. Seriously? Ron would NEVER treat Hermione like that, and they HAVE had fights that have been pretty nasty but Hermione wasn't such a big baby about it. And Dumbledore devouring students' souls? I'm sorry, but once again, so out of character I want to cry. You weren't even correctly spelling his name half the time.
Which brings me to the point of your grammar. I understand a few grammatical errors, and I have seen worse, but it could be so much better. My advice is to not use a space between "s and your writing, remember to use capitalization, don't omit words, and please, PLEASE use spell check. I personally do any writing on a word doc beforehand so you can address these errors before posting them - it makes it a lot easier in the long run.
If you managed to read this without going on a rage, then good for you! This is constructive criticism to help you grow as a writer, and not meant to insult you in any way.
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 6/21/2011
Great fic! Although, I should warn you, it's being sporked at das-sporking . livejournal 129235 . html
| timunderwood9 chapter 2 . 4/25/2011
Amusing the way you used the "Dumbledore takes Harry along to convince an old friend to become a professor" scene for your own purposes.
| ViandasJohnson chapter 1 . 11/27/2010
...why is Dumbledore acting like Mudou?
| So chapter 3 . 11/9/2010
Did you read any of the books? Because if so, you'd know that Ron and Hermione have had PLENTY of nasty fights and not one time did Ron EVER call her anything as horrible as a mudblood. And even if he did, Hermione wouldn't go up to her room and cry about it. She has a spine, you know.
But oh, right. This is a Harmony fic, and the only way your *OTP* works is if everyone is wildly OOC, with Ron as an irredeemable asshole, Hermione as a sniveling pansy, and Harry as The Big Strong Manly Man Who Must Defend His Woman.
Oh well. Have fun ignoring this review.
| Scabbers1957 chapter 9 . 11/7/2010
Oh please don't leave us hanging like this...this is a bloody awesome story.
I'll add this to my story alerts just in case you decide to continue it.
| Sayu Blishtoka chapter 9 . 9/12/2010
So what are you going to do? You have the book to worry about as well as who is really on harry's team compared to who is just using him. And how you want this whole battle to fair. What is going to happen to the new DADA professor and if harry will get captured that time as well as if he will manage to hide his true form while going to school or not go to school.
| Sephiroth owns u all chapter 9 . 4/12/2010
awesome story please continue
| tornadoblake2009 chapter 8 . 9/2/2009
| tornadoblake2009 chapter 7 . 9/2/2009
hey great chapter
| tornadoblake2009 chapter 6 . 9/2/2009
| tornadoblake2009 chapter 5 . 9/2/2009