|Reviews for Supernatural|
| The Dark Deceiver chapter 34 . 4/27
Well, it's been six years since I last read this and left a review. I recently remembered it out of the blue, and decided to revisit it to see if it was as good as I remembered it. Unfortunately, that's not the case, though it's not bad either.
So, to kick off this review, I'd like to say that I enjoy the story, I truly do. Its premise is interesting, and I'm curious to see where it goes. Sadly, that's where the praise stops and the constructive criticism begins.
For starters, your pacing definitely needs work. Events escalate far too rapidly in between chapters and even each other, and makes the story feel rushed. Characters also appear far too frequently, sometimes for little to no reason. This is most emphasized when Anita just randomly shows up in chapter 12 with no warning. She's there for one chapter, does some stuff, and then leaves, all within the span of that same chapter.
Daisuke himself is another issue with the fic, He's basically just a Gary Stu. All the events revolve around him, and even Morrigan gets attracted to him fairly quickly. Yes, I'm well aware that he's meant to be special, but there's nothing to balance him out. He has no real faults or flaws as a person or personality. Sure, he gets angry a few times and charges in without thinking, but anybody would do the same thing, so that can't be counted as a trait unique to him.
He has some likable traits, but this is mainly because the story's in 1st person, so we see his thoughts and narrative. Speaking of which, that's another issue the fic has, though minor compared to the previous two; the narrative. You'll switch from past tense to present tense, all within the same chapter, and it gets distracting. You'll want to stick to one narrative.
Know that I'm not criticizing your fic to be mean, I'm doing it so the story, and your writing skills, can improve. Despite what my review may imply, I actually DO enjoy this fic, and I'm glad to see that it was at least updated semi-recently, and I hope that you continue it in the future.
| NenkotaMoon chapter 34 . 12/6/2016
Nice to see this still going.
| nightfury1507 chapter 34 . 11/8/2016
it been a while and still good chapter also are you going to include more darkstalkers in the next arc like felicia and jedah
| Lamplighter1968 chapter 34 . 11/1/2016
A long time coming, but well worth the wait .
Nice pacing, and I liked Aria. Would be nice to think we haven't seen the last of her somehow.
Glad you haven't given up on this rockin' story!
| Rialga chapter 34 . 11/1/2016
Been a long time! Hope you are doing well now! And looks like Daisuke May reach his friend in the very next chapter... how will that go, I wonder...
Looking forward to the next chapter!
| godofmadness43 chapter 34 . 11/1/2016
well Rikuo is gone, poor merman
| Mart-kos99k chapter 8 . 8/15/2016
please come back sooooooon!
| Albert Luna chapter 33 . 3/26/2016
Not bad, I love darkstalkers and hope that this story continues.
| Guest chapter 33 . 5/22/2015
good cliff-hanger to a great story please countinue the story I whant to know what happens to rikuo and daisuke its going to be fun to read I bet.
| Guest chapter 33 . 4/29/2015
greaaaaaaaaaaaat story pleasa I whant to know what will happens next.
| Guest chapter 33 . 8/4/2014
is she a vampire i dont now please right the next chapter i realy whant to now what happens next
| ShiroFurse chapter 33 . 5/23/2014
I know I'm necro-posting but great story! Entertaining and now that I'm at the end kinda sad it has been dead for a while but meh, just means you did great work writing it friend :3
| Guest chapter 29 . 4/26/2014
daisuke in tux morrigan most realy enjoy seing him in it.
| Guest chapter 33 . 4/21/2014
great chapter but when is the next chapter is come i love this story a lote.
| Guest chapter 33 . 3/1/2014
when is the next chapter coming this is a cooool story