|Reviews for Saetwo's Story|
| Plot Twist the Pegasus chapter 27 . 10h
First of all, I would like to say this story is amazing! I was hooked with every word, and I've never read anything quite like this, in a good way!
My favorite scenes were when the Zoombinis first met Caption Cajun and Ulla. The dialogue between them and the zoombinis was spot on, and felt in-character. I also enjoyed when Saetwo got to speak with her Mother again. Still, I believe it would be better if it was a bit longer, and had more of their emotions shown.
As for characters, they all had a unique and interesting personality, and that's sometimes hard to write. Their speech patterns all seemed similar, at least for the Zoombinis, but I still enjoyed their dialogue. All of the different conflicts added depth to the story.
Also, another great part of this story that impressed me was how Saetwo wasn't fighting for most of the final battle with the Fleens. I know that doesn't make sense, but it's annoying when protagonists do everything of interest in the story just because they're the protagonist. In a similar fashion, I appreciated seeing the other Zoombinis solving some of the puzzles.
The only thing I'd suggest is showing more of the relations between the Zoombinis before the Bloats invaded, as that would add even more depth to the story. Also, describing more of the environment they discover would add more words and create a better picture in the mind.
Still, there isn't much for me to review, mostly because this is so great! As I said before, I was hooked.
| markzilla6895 chapter 1 . 7/9
I loved this story since this was one of my favorite games as a kid. It expanded on the loose story and gave the guest characters from the puzzles more personality.
Honestly, if you ever did consider doing a sequel, I would actually see an original story rather than an adaptation of Mountain Rescue and Island Odyssey.
| Bouncyball2002 chapter 1 . 12/10/2015
So one day I go looking through Fanfiction, and whaddya know? Zoombinis actually has some!
First I'm like, its all going to be written by two year-olds, but then I find this.
No offense, but I can't read this. Its too long, but I am taking the time to tell you that this is awesome. For something like Zoombinis, which I played as a young child, I expected not much, but this... This is probably a masterpiece. I mean, its 80K words!
Just telling you how awesome this is, even if I'm not going to read it.
| Guest chapter 27 . 12/7/2015
Nice novelization! I liked the development you gave Bruno and Ulla and Cajun. The romance was a bit annoying, and Uloobu/Tyscene was super contrived and unrealistic, but people's mileage varies and Saetwo and Echae were super cute.
| Tymaporer chapter 8 . 10/20/2015
I noticed something on rereading this (because I like it so much):
"...and Crystal over there won't take anybody with sunglasses or a green nose." Xekrai says this after getting everyone through the caves, but earlier on, when he himself is going through, he passes Crystal, who it says "watched him unconcernedly as he went." Xekrai has sunglasses, so the rule he states is inconsistent.
...I can't believe I noticed that, and I'm not sure anyone else will, so it's up to you whether you go back and fix something so small after all these years. XD Still an excellent story, and novelization.
| BaiduScorpion chapter 27 . 8/28/2015
With the game's remake released on iOS this month and other platforms next month, this is relevant again, so I went back to reread it. It still holds up. I hope people who are introduced to the Zoombinis with the new version come back and find this as well.
| N. Harmonik chapter 27 . 8/20/2015
Best Zoombinis story ever! Charm, drama, humour and romance! Oh, did you know Zoombinis now have their own page on Facebook to celebrate the updated re-release of Logical Journey?
| grandvizier527 chapter 27 . 8/20/2014
I loved this whole adventure! You took the journey of the Zoombinis and turned it from a fun and challenging computer game into an adventure full of depth and meaning! Well done!
PS...I thought it was "SIGH-two." Oops... :/
| grandvizier527 chapter 21 . 8/18/2014
I appreciated the drama and character development and plot that you have supplied the story with. It really gives the whole game so much more depth than it could have ever had alone.
| grandvizier527 chapter 20 . 8/18/2014
Aw, it's kinda sad how the zoombinis' relationships have deteriorated. I hope Xekrai and Tyscene can do something to redeem themselves.
| grandvizier527 chapter 18 . 8/17/2014
PLOT TWIST! I never would have guessed that the Bruno the marsh fairy was responsible for EVERYTHING, in an unintentional way.
| grandvizier527 chapter 12 . 8/17/2014
I've only read about half of this, but I love it! I searched for it because it some random point my mom and I brought up zoombinis, and the nostalgia all came back in my head. I still have Island Oddyssey, and it works on my computer, but Logical Journey-the classic and the best of the 3-is gone, and I've heard it isn't compatible on modern-day computers, which sucks.
Seriously, those later levels were HARD, weren't they? That game really was appropriate for the whole family, when you think about it: little kids would have difficulty guessing the topics for Arno's pizza (me and everybody in my first grade class took forever to figure it out that there was a trick to it, and I don't think I ever remember anyone passing the level distinctly), tweens would have fun figuring out how to get through and (not so) easy difficulty, and anybody my age and older would take forever on the very, very hard levels!
But I digress. I really like this story because it not only captures what the zoombinis were probably thinking on their journey, it doubles as an affectionate parody.
For example, if the game is supposed to teach logic, then why are the cliffs able to swap their allergies? Why do the trolls want different pizzas each time? Why are things always tough and different every level?!
I also appreciate the characters and how they have good and bad aspects to their personality. Saetwo has a kinder heart but is a bit headstrong; Xekrai is a good leader and is about as competent as she is, but he is isn't nearly as friendly. Echae is smart, but he can't speak up well (if he could than maybe he could have explained what the problem was at the pizza place before being knocked away). Uloobu is gentle, but too willing to let people walk all over him. I like how no Zoombini is completely likable or hateable, and I hope this trend continues throughout the rest of the story.
I also like the connection between the Fleens and the Bloats; that was a great plot element that the game could never have told.
| Briac Ad'hibou chapter 13 . 2/8/2014
I just discovered this fanfiction with that link:
... IT IS AWE-SOME!
All my childhood in this well-written story, in which everything is explained to make the zoombinis' journey game... well... logical (). What I especially appreciate is the fact that you really tried to flesh out the personality of all characters encountered in the game.
(English is not my mothertongue, so please excuse me if I can't fully express what I feel. Just know that I just LOOOOOVE it) :DDDD
| Calorimeter chapter 27 . 10/21/2013
This was a great story. I think all the little details, like the sensations of Bubblewonder Abyss, you added fleshed out the game. I like how people changed to realistic extents. At first I thought you were going to end it with "..happily ever after," but the added dialogue made it even better. I thought there was an element of mystery with the race to the bubble machine. Were they going to race to it to use it, or was that just an endpoint?
| Calorimeter chapter 18 . 10/21/2013
This has been, thus far, my favorite chapter. I laughed when Conneda got thrown into the wall and when Xekrai got hit by a mudball.
On a more serious note, I think you did a good job with the backstory on the Bloat invasion. Touches like that just bring the game to life.