|Reviews for DragonBall GT Revised|
| Kuriboh Girl chapter 14 . 4/18
I LOVE Sayaman
| genesicgaogaigarvsgodgundam chapter 1 . 9/9/2016
| Basket in a Nutcase chapter 17 . 8/14/2015
Aw, nutbunnies, this story is dead, isn't it.
| Guest chapter 17 . 6/19/2015
I just read your whole fanfic in one afternoon. Really liked it, much better than the real GT.
I see that is quite old so you may have left it behind but I do hope you will continue it one day.
My favorite parts are how you create a believable post Frieza universe. He was an huge figure that is its logical that the after effects of his life and dead would still have an influence on the universe.
My favorite part was Redgic story, you created such as an awesome character, it was so cool that even though Goku could have easily beaten him he instead honored him by fighting him as a proper warrior.
The Ragano Arc was very good, we saw great character development for Pan and her last fight was amazing. I loved how Goku and Trunks were just keeping tabs on her by following her Ki all the way in the ship.
Goku was also really cool in this arc alet ranting between funny and cool, thanks for having your Goku be childish without ever carrying the idiot ball like he did in real GT.
My biggest disappointment is that we didn't see Trunks fight. Hope if you ever continue this fic you will give my man Trunks a chance to shine because so far he seems the least developed of the three main characters
And I really want to see him use those Ki-Sword techniques I hope he learned from Ragano. If you do continue and give Trunks his time in the sun, I hope you reference Tapion and the Hiderugan movie, as that is my favorite movie.
My major complain is that your humor seems too American at times, the way the characters talk, the references to American food instead of Japanese or Asian food, the whole breaking the fourth wall and making your own comments on the story.
But the worst offenders are the whole deal with the squirrels and the comedic episode with the Saiyans on a TV show. I mostly skipped those parts.
Finally for me the voices of the characters aren't quite right, specially Goku's, like for example he would have never even tried to address Ragano in a regal way, after all this is a guy who meets Gods on a regular basis and addresses them in the most casual of manners.
Anyway, even if the voices feel off at times, I think you get the heart of the characters and that's the main thing. As I read this I definitely want to read more about them and spend time with them.
Hope you will continue this one day. All the best and keep up the good work.
| dragon chapter 17 . 4/7/2015
Good stuff. please update soon.
| dragonDraw chapter 17 . 4/7/2015
awesome story i cant wait for more :D
| CAEJones chapter 17 . 5/24/2013
Gah! Finally remembered to check again, and I only get two new chapters! Or is it 1? I don't remember if I read 16 or not...
By which I mean Holycrap you're still awesome and I'm glad I remembered this existed, seeing as this morning sucked and I think this kinda cancels out the ten minutes I spent trying to read the inscription on a wrench.
*Ahem* But that is not constructive criticism. And, being the type of idiot who whines all year then churns out 50k words in a week, I'd better bloody well practice on constructive criticism.
I really liked the relationship between Regano and Pan. It's one of the more believable and less hormonal love at first sight type situations I can think of (granted, I can't think of many that aren't "RAAA HOTNESS!").
Then there's Zatar's betrayal, which felt wrong for quite a bit. Once it got into full swing, it worked splendidly, but in the lead up, where it was mostly hinted at, and the foundation to it was explained, something about it felt... I dunno, weak? (Not that I can think of any cleverer way to do it.) It wasn't bad, but somehow it felt like it'd stepped back a level, which is probably more because Zatar felt like a real adviser rather than potential traitor (even his discontent with Regano's decisions seemed more realistic than indicative of betrayal). This is probably me getting all tripped up by what is/isn't cliche (I'm not even sure at this point), and what tropes are most frequently subverted/lampshaded/invoked in your writing.
This probably helps the actual outcome, though! I was starting to get worried the storytelling was weakening, then you turned around and proved me wrong. (All the cultural references helped magnificently. The Return of the Jedi bit in particular was pretty nice, as I'm not use to that scene being parodied, and I wound up wondering aloud if you didn't go into so much detail on the Koum sealife just to set up the Hitch Hiker's Guide line. XD ).
Actually, you did the exact same thing with the KaioKen, now that I think of it. I'm not sure if there were hints in previous chapters (it's been a while; I should backread), but I was suspecting it was building toward Pan going SSJ, and I was trying to convince myself this was a good way/time/etc to do so as not to get pulled out of the action... then awesome happened again.
The only thing that felt a little weird even at the end-and I'm pretty sure this is not bad even though I'm a little apprehensive-is that I noticed for the first time that Pan talks like an average (Americanized) teenage girl. (Then I started thinking "Or my sister... ok, maybe a bit above average." :P ) I can't think of any reason why this should bug me (the word "subtlety" keeps bouncing around in my head throughout writing this, but it does not seem appropriate any time it gets close to the keyboard). It's probably a strength, really. And it's nowhere near as bad as the insane speaking styles in, say, X-Men ("Let's give everyone a qwerk, then beat the reader over the head with it!" Which you did not, so good for you.).
I wish I could say this was the first time I'd written a page, then realized I had no idea what I was trying to say. This week. I'm sure I'll come back and read this tomorrow and desperately wish I'd said something differently. I should stop talking and hit submit, shouldn't I? Keepupthegoodwork!
| Guest chapter 11 . 5/13/2013
| Guest chapter 7 . 5/13/2013
What the hell was that
| Guest chapter 6 . 5/13/2013
| Guest chapter 4 . 5/13/2013
Well goku got his wish
| BYoshi1993 chapter 17 . 4/27/2013
I liked it though I kinda wish there had been more Goku involved. I don't think I'm used to him being on the sidelines. xD the character development for Pan was pretty good too though. I'm kinda disappointed that she decided to not start a relationship but there's always the future. Looking forward to the next update.
| Sage of Wind Dragons chapter 17 . 4/27/2013
ah kaio ken super technique, really it just goes to show you the awesomeness of the Kaio kens even as they are almost a dead race,
and YES to many get caught up into transformation part of it supersayian forms and all its subsidiaries are all TECHNIQUES witch is I think the reason so many of them hit walls in their trainings and why Goku could do the super sayian 3 with seven years of constant training. Goku was taught Kaio ken witch is the same TYPE of technique as the super sayians and ozoru transformations, only they are far weaker... and at the same time stupidy stronger in a way.
Kaio ken TIMES this kaio ken TIMES that
and certintly its slow going but well Kaio Ken times a million? a billion? a trillion? hundreads of trillions?
ok obviously not to that point but still that's another thing about the world of DBZ, Goku quite littteraly is in the league for the contender for strongest in the universe along with others..
and to other things, the Pan romance I think you handled well it really isn't the time for her to be shaking up and gradual shifts in a relationship would probably work better for her than thant, plus the kid has to meet all the other Z fighters!
now about that heirloom...
YES! you bring up the other side of something that most conviently forget about! MAGIC! witch REALLY adds into to some flexibility for the fights in DBZ to bring it back to the days that weaker charecters could still do stuff and perhaps Win in fights as well.
the dodan ray when used correctly was a incredibly thin piercing attack, great tot take out vitals and if you machine gun the whole foe... wel its a matter of speed then.
and Krillians kienzan, speed again!
I mean a lot oif people has their OWN things to bring to the table, obviously they arnt stronger thatn some of the tougher fellas but they do have things I mean take...master roshi! and his max power muscle thing. THE MAN USES A HUMAN OZORU TYPE THING. AT WILL.
consider this for a tad.
and then add into the pyskicks...
It really adds tot he threats you can through against your heros so to speck.
about the death... and the dragon balls.
while I think they did started treating death lightly after a while the whole dieing PROCESS was considered bad, and I don't just mean the pain before the dieing but probably the transition periodbetween death and appearing in the after life. so its still a thing (plus you get judged witch has to be akward iif their are levels of the "heaven" and "hells" add in along with that the fact of even with the dBZ you still only get a limited amount of life(s) depending on how flexible you are in your wording
well I hope eventually the gang runs into territory where people that actually fight are at least stronger than Frezia cause I cant help but think their in the less countries so to speck when it comes ot worlds, the small peacefull ones you know? not the big "nations" so to speack.
anyway yIm happy to see where your going with this and I wonder if the people back on earth run into a situation while all three of them are lost I mean Dabura was a litteral demon and if the king of hell advocated his thrown I bet you their was a civil war, if an uppity demon decides to make a name for itself by going to earth?
also eocentric powers, I cant wait to see what others you shall eventually bring into the table so to speak
all in all an enjoyable chapter and I hunger for more!
| Firulice chapter 16 . 12/29/2012
Woohoo MERRY CHRISTMAS. ANOTHER CHAPTER OF THE BEST WRITTEN DB-RELATED FANFIC HAS BEEN RELEASED! Thanks alot for this quality reading experience.
| BYoshi1993 chapter 16 . 12/26/2012
I liked it! The chapter was great, though it took me a few minutes to remember what was happening. I most definitely enjoyed the Star Wars reference. It was also nice to see a smarter Goku in this chapter, compared to the GT version. Looking.g forward to the upcoming conflict. Update soon!