Reviews for Flawless
Fortune Zyne chapter 1 . 3/16/2012
Beautifully written!
awaylaughing chapter 1 . 8/30/2009
Someone below me mentioned that this story seemed distant, and I can't help but to agree. However, I felt like that was the point. I read through this whole thing with a sort of hollow, empty yet no feeling. I imagine this is what you were going for, what THIS Fingon felt.

To be honest, I found this to be nothing short of amazing, the words flowed beautifully, and the very last part made my heart go *dunk*. For some reason, it's reminiscent of T.S Eliot's "The Hollow Men".
the-dolphins-way chapter 1 . 6/1/2008
Vana Tuivana chapter 1 . 10/18/2006
Oh. Wow.

This is absolutely heartbreakingly lovely. It's really almost eerily calm - very spare and sober and thoughtful, icily emotionless on the surface. The emotion comes in very subtly, through the repetition and the flashbacks, and wow, this is GORGEOUS. I particularly adore the last sentence: "one pair of eyes closed, one remained open, and both were flawless." ... *weeps*

Beautiful writing. I'm adding this to my favorites. I have the feeling that I'll come back to it later and come away with an entirely new perspective. :-)
Maeve Riannon chapter 1 . 10/16/2006
Well, the premise of this AU is very interesting to think about. On the one hand, it cant be denied that Maedhros would have been happier- short of two Kinslayings and a great moral degradation, Im sure he eventually found peace. But, as you imply at the end, who would have restained the FĂ«anorians then, caused the rift to heal or at least rest for a while? Thought-provoking questions.

Your story does justice to the dramatic situation, and the language is beautiful, and flows easily. Compliments.
Celegorm chapter 1 . 10/16/2006
Let me tell you how much I li...ahahahahahahaha *yawn*

What was I saying?

Oh, yeah. This is boring.
Saxton-And-Holt chapter 1 . 10/16/2006
There's some nice parts in here. The repetition of the word flawless, you obviously have a sensitive ear for words, and it's interesting the imagine how it would sound aloud.

I had a wonderful review critiquing my own one-shot, and I'm trying to write one quite as competent as his/her's. I'll try, as carefully as possible, to mention things I've noticed.

Right, so the one-shot depends heavily on imagery ( for the most part) and skillful use of language. And, then, at the end, the last sentence that, preferably, ties it all together, and delivers a hearty gut-punch to the reader.

I'm sensing a lot of distance in the story, which (for me) makes it difficult to sympathize with the characters. Eru knows I love mae and fin-I remember reading the sil in waldens, and my mouth just falling open. Obviously, it depends on what mood you're trying to convey, I simply felt there was no part that concretely tied me to the characters. Oh dear, after using the word concrete I'm imagining myself tied to a cinder block. Never mind. You get it.

So, the end, for me, didn't quite deliver the wow I hoped for, although, overall, the story is good. I think it had something to do with this: the one shot usually builds on images, and then the last, stunning image turns it on its head, or blossoms into this wicked sort of surprise. Reader surprise, anyway.

Saying "both of them, flawless" didn't seem new to me, since I'd read above "flawless, flawless" in reference to Maedhros. I'm not sure why the end didn't click with me. For me, it didn't reveal anything, because the images had already been used, and there didn't seem to be a twist in it.

Oh dear. Now, because I'm pointing these out, you shouldn't just see the flaws. The story isn't bad. A few faults mentioned by a random ff reader are just that: random comments. So trek on, and have fun.


PS. Have I ever told you that whenever I tell people to be really mean to characters ( because it's exciting, and the tension doesn't leak because there's comfort too soon) or that they should make battles more gorey, or gross, they almost never reply? Dang.
Ellfine chapter 1 . 10/15/2006
Wow! Wow! That was exquisite! Beautifully bitter and haunting and so well done. Part VI was excellent as well. Just stick that knife in and twist it.

Blodeuedd chapter 1 . 10/15/2006
Amazing little AU piece. I love the simplicity of the language; Silmfics can get a tad overwrought most of the time, because of the intensity and emotion of the subject matter, but you handled everything gracefully. I also like how you chose to put the dialogue outside quotes; it really conveys the sobriety of the moments portrayed.

I know exactly how you feel, returning to the world of Silmarillion fanfiction after a vacation. I thought I was done with writing it too, but it somehow manages to draw me back in, time and again.

Anyways - In short, beautiful.
Andi-Scribbles chapter 1 . 10/15/2006
Hey, I just thought I'd give a review 'cuz I just saw your fic on WhiteLady's reviews.

All I can really say right now is:

Brilliant. Your insight to the minds of elves is awesome. I especially loved how you tied in the title with the last line. The whole thing was just Brilliant, with a capital 'B.'
anolinde chapter 1 . 10/14/2006
Alright. I don't really know what happened, probably because it's close to eleven o'clock at night, but the quality of writing was really good. I don't know why you always say you're jealous of me, because I would kill you to write the way you do. ;)

So, are both Fingon and Maedhros stranded on the Thangorodrim, and Fingon shot Maedhros? I'm pretty sure that's what happened, except I got distracted by all the shiny writing.

Great job!