|Reviews for A new Future|
| kyuubilord1 chapter 3 . 4/12
| Cristal 498 chapter 3 . 3/27
please make more!
| Aka-Baka Hoshi chapter 3 . 2/8
Very interesting! I like it very much! Can't wait for more chapters!
| Aka-Baka Hoshi chapter 2 . 2/8
Haku and Zabuza? Well they both did get deal rotten hands, so you have my vote. I am enjoying reading this AU and I look forward to seeing where it goes in future chapters.
| Loner Kid chapter 3 . 10/6/2014
plzzz update! I really like this story! It's rare that Naruto goes back and doesn't help Konoha xD
I have a few suggestions though:
1) get a beta reader. You have a few grammar mistakes (maybe more, cuz I wasn't paying much attention to them)
2) Write the Jutsu names in English. Cuz in the story, take, for example, Chapter 2, you said..she learned (a bunch of jutsu names), he learned (a bunch of jutsu names), and he learned (a bunch of jutsu names)...and I was like "wait..what the HELL?! What is this author talking about?" I mean, when you just throw:
"Tayuya learned the Mizu bushin, Kage bushin, Inner deception, Tajū Kage Bunshin no Jutsu and the Shunshin form Naruto.
Both Kimimaro and Tayuya learned form the scroll - Kirigakure no Jutsu, Suiton: Kokū no Jutsu, Suirō no Jutsu, Suiton Suijinheki, Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu. Currently working on Suiton: Daibakure no Jutsu, A-rank and Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu a B-rank jutsu.
Later on they also learned henge, Bakuretsufuu, and Magen: Jubaku Satsu curtsey of Naruto aka Fox boy."
The reader will have no idea what those jutsus are. Except if they know Japanese, or else us English readers will be confused, very confused. So you should write them in English instead of putting the translation at the end of the fic, cuz it's frustrating to be like: "Hm I wonder what this jutsu means...let's scroll down and check..oh so that's what it means...now...ugh..what does this next jutsu mean? Let's scroll down and check..oh so that's what it means..now next one..ugh another one I don't understand...let's scroll down and check.." and continue like this for all the jutsu you have listed. That's a HUGE pain in the a**, sorry for the cussing.
3) This is a minor error, for Ch 3 only. You should explain at the beginning that there's a time skip, cuz when I read, I thought I read the wrong fic, cuz suddenly Itachi, Kisame, and Gaara pops out! Then Naruto showed up as an ADULT doing the introduction. Then they have created a VILLAGE and Naruto's the KAGE! I was sooo confused and had to re-read the chapter 3 times to understand what's going on. So plzzzzz next time warn us before time-skipping. Also, it would be best to write a small summary telling what had happened during the Time-skip, like...:
"In the next few years, Naruto managed to gather many valuable allies including Itachi, Kisame, Gaara..etc, by (briefly summarize how Naruto persuaded them). With all his allies and friends, Naruto created a small village named the 'Village Hidden in the Elements', which soon became a strong and large village, and Naruto was elected to be the Kage by everyone..."
Something like that should work. Put that in the beginning of Ch 3, and it should help us readers understand the situation better. Of course, don't put exactly what I said -_-
I hope you find my review useful. I will be patiently awaiting for your next update, all the while wishing you haven't abandoned this fic :)
If you did abandoned it (since you haven't updated it for YEARS!), you should let others adopt it, or put up an announcement telling us.
| Ankreiyas chapter 3 . 9/29/2014
| doubledamn chapter 3 . 9/21/2014
This is great, a good original idea for a back in time fic. Oh, and here's a translation for 'Village of the Hidden Elements'
Yōsokure no Sato
It's a pretty bastardized translation though, here's rundown of it, remember Japanese reading is backwards for names in Western it would be 'Sato no Yōsokure':
Yōso - Elements
kure - 'Hidden', not really, closest translation to hidden was 'nightfall' but every other village name has that suffix in canon.
no Sato - Village of
| AnimeFreak71777 chapter 3 . 8/8/2014
Please update! :D
| Guest chapter 3 . 5/31/2014
Cute keep writing
| DeadlyXDevil chapter 2 . 1/21/2014
Hey it's a great story has a lot of potential but could use more support, I was wondering if I could adopted it? If yes thanks very much if no well good luck with the story then :)
| Guest chapter 3 . 10/8/2013
| Lazy-Wandering-Ninja chapter 3 . 7/26/2013
Please continue this story has awesome potential!
| TEAM SasuNaruHina chapter 3 . 4/27/2013
| Crystalzap chapter 3 . 4/24/2013
you do know Sannin means San three nin ninja. Sannin isn't a level of skill it was a title given by Hanzo because he saw how Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru fought together as a team. hints "The Sannin" "The Three Ninja"
Anyway they all got strong too fast, I can understand Naruto he basically is re-learning most stuff, or at least knew about them. But it should take the others months as kids that young to get even two-three jutsu. PS: I would be helpful if you explained when you're doing a time skip.
Now that the critque is done, I would like to say this has been a nice story so far, Naruto going around and helping all the lost kids and giving them a home that would except them is really sweet and I felt really sad when Naruto was shunned even after he fought and gave his life for the village.
| Agato - The Hadou Inari chapter 1 . 4/8/2013
Shove this K piece of shit up your ass.