Reviews for Just Hikaru
Kimmy Blades chapter 10 . 2/25/2016
Thank you for that beautifully depressing story. I cried sooo much. And laughed and felt guilty for laughing. Such an amazing story and had a great twist. I love how this story ended. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if it would've ended the way I thought. One of my favoritw fan fics I've ever came across. Thank you.
JustHazel9878 chapter 10 . 8/31/2015
Do you like ruining my life?! Tears were pouring, hearts were breaking, and death was coming and it was just a "then I woke up"! I feel like expoding. But seriously beautiful ending.
1000000000000iwish chapter 10 . 5/4/2015
I love this story so much! You are a very talented author, I cried and laughed and squealed and I loved this fanfic. SOOOOOOO MUCH! Thank you for writing such a wonderful story
Silent Sonatas chapter 2 . 2/1/2015
This is a pretty good story so far. But if I were you, I would not use the word "questioned" at all. It has a different meaning than how you're using it. Also, you have many run-on sentences that need fixing.
Skywroe chapter 10 . 11/23/2014

I was sobbing MAAN and that twist, oh that was awesome!
I could feel every emotion and I like that, I was in the story and saw it all. That really excited me and made me read on, I am impressed.
chloe cauliflower chapter 1 . 4/4/2014
mollux chapter 10 . 3/2/2014
Oh my god this story played with my emotions so much!
Picandy chapter 1 . 11/18/2013
I'm so close to crying... Just wow. This chapter is amazing. I need to read more.
Guest chapter 10 . 8/16/2013
I hate you (kidding!) I cried so hard! Such a good story
lillideathflower chapter 10 . 7/23/2013
...THAT WAS AMAZING! Nice twist, by the way definitely unexpected but a neat way for him to see he likes her.
Scarlett Sparks chapter 10 . 7/12/2013
Oh my gosh! You totally screwed wih my mind! I cried so hard when you described Kaoru's then it's all a dream?! I almost died! I hate you! -okay, not really, actually I love you for writing such an amazing story. I just... gahhh, I was so sad and horrified and amazed at the same time. You are a wonderful author, I didn't see anything else that needed improvement but I still saw some of the other things I reviewed about last time. Mainly transitions between characters and time transitions. Other than that I loved it! :)
Scarlett Sparks chapter 4 . 7/2/2013
I love this story so far, you are a very good writer. He dreams Hikaru has had and the flashbacks and the descriptiveness are all amazing and I love it, you really hook in the reader and make them want to continue reading. However, I do have some constructive criticism to help improve your writing. Keep in mind, I love this story and this is not me hating, this is a fellow writer trying to give another writer advise. Here are some things I've noticed that could use improving:
-Transitions. It's difficult for me to keep track of the story when you switch to another place or day, it's really hard to keep track of timing and if certain thugs were the next day or after school or in another place. Single line breaks can help with that, as well as transition words/phrases suh as "after school," "at the Hitachiin house," "the next day," "that afternoon," and so on.
-Simple typing mistakes. I've noticed a few grammar and spelling mistakes, which is perfectly okay, everyone makes mistakes. However reading your chapters allowed or having someone proof-read and edit your chapters before you post them can help with that.
-Haruhi's characterization. You've done very good with explaining and recreating he characters but there are points where she laughs at a time that seems of to be laughing for her character. I understand it might be intentional or because she's mourning or hidin a secret, I just thought I'd point it out to you just in case.
Other than those minor things, I completely love this story and will continue reading and reviewing every couple of chapters. Don't worry I won't repeat my critisism (unless to add something or tell you hag it's improved). Hopefully this helps improve your already fantastic writing, have a great day! :)
Chalk26 chapter 10 . 3/12/2013
Great story! Chapter 1 and 9 made me cry a little and my 2 favorite lines were:

'She's so freaked out... She's calm!
Nicole Marie chapter 10 . 3/6/2013
That was AMAZING! You really know how to play with my feels! :)
That was an AMAZING story! I was crying within 5 minutes of reading, the I was laughing! You are an amazing author! You should definitely consider going into writing! Anyhow the story was noting short of amazing and I am looking forward to reading some of your other work!
Guest chapter 10 . 1/24/2013

loved the ending, I for sure thought they were gone but that was an awesome surprize. I was all sad and I was like pure awesomeness too bad about them being together not being real. I say change the names lengthen it a little and make it your own book . 3
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