|Reviews for little blue girl|
| Micha chapter 1 . 12/16/2008
omg this is AMAZING!
| fireart chapter 1 . 7/17/2007
So beautiful and I love your vivid and powerful descriptions.
| xdellaforex chapter 1 . 4/11/2007
Ooh! I love it!
did u ever think 0f writing professionally?
you've got talent. I say u give it a go.
but, what do I know?
I'm just a FF junkie. (Don't take that as an insult, I may be a mere junkie, but you've still got the gift)
| scribls chapter 1 . 12/28/2006
O.o I think it's Jeong Jeong...
Ah, beautiful prose, it touches poetry and exudes simple elegance. Stream of consciousness plus flashbacks? Eh, I know what it is, but can't think of the categories.
Watch the tenses for effectiveness ("i wondered how many more...will kill them." for example)
"Firey" should be spelled "fiery."
"...clean white trails in the dirt." I'm not sure this imagery follows up on "tears streaked..." (Slightly confusing?)
"i stared...dead man's skull." Simile will do, but is there a more different, but fitting, idea/object to compare to? Or, if simile is scrapped, perhaps something like "i stared after you from a _ (metaphor!). If kept, try "beneath" instead of "underneath." The extra syllable throws off the rhythm.
"because you knew...used as kindling" Brilliant.
e.e. cummings style type works. Moving, not maudlin; perfect style. Brava.
| libowie chapter 1 . 12/19/2006
That was sad, but beautifully written. I could picture everything in my mind as you were describing it. I think the little blue ice girl was Katara, right? What a truly sweet story.
| jimmyhere chapter 1 . 11/5/2006
That is gorgeous. I'm tearing up.
| Calicy chapter 1 . 10/14/2006
Lovely. It gives compassion and emotion to something that most people automatically think is brutal and thoughtless.