|Reviews for Baggage Claim|
| machievelli chapter 1 . 4/13/2013
Supposed to have been posted 22 July 2012, at and the Coruscant Entertainment Center in my The Critic's Two Cents. My computer went down again in June of 2012 with a virus. Then in late November kotorfanmedia went down for reasons unknown, so I was stymied in my attempts to post the reviews. I had waited for it to revive, but you on deserve your reviews.
Post KOTOR: Some interesting travel arrangements...
Technical notes: Hoth is an iceball, Dagobah one massive swamp, Mustafar is an ongoing volcanic meltdown, Yavin IV is a backwater jungle and Taris had been destroyed. Why would they have scheduled transports? Going to the Yavin system might make sense with three inhabitable planets, though there is no mention of inhabitants beyond the Massassi (Extinct since the War of Exar Kun), and two Sith Strongholds about 4 centuries apart at this time.
Also, according to the Wookiepedia, it is in the Outer Rim so turning it into something you would do on a day trip (12 hours round trip) is expecting some serious suspension of disbelief.
I thought it was cute that Jolee had HK go all transformer on us, but unless he has some kind of gravity control built in, he would A: be far too heavy to carry aboard and B: still be a lot larger than say a gym bag, which is the largest bag allowed for carry on luggage these days.
| Kimberly chapter 1 . 1/13/2008
I laughed so hard during this story ... this was really wonderful. Jollee has long been a favorite character of mine, yet I would never have dared to try to write him!
I love the whole situation, and how you manage your pov switches very smoothly; it was not rocky at all, and just what was needed.
If you're still interested in fanfic and if this site is still active, you can send me an email and I'd be happy to send you a more in depth review.
| Sailoramber chapter 1 . 1/2/2008
oh, i had to repress so many giggles reading this. i've read resolutions, and i'm glad to see lirik again. and i have to say, turning HK into a suitcase was inspired.
| Anne Onymous chapter 1 . 9/6/2007
"And speak plain, dammit."
Enjoyed the irony of Jolee saying that. Good fic, excellent dialogue.
| Marko Dash chapter 1 . 1/15/2007
i'm not sure how you made waiting at a spaceport funny, but you have.
| BlackBlackHeaven chapter 1 . 12/27/2006
that was kick ass. seriously great job
| Inconspicuous Acuity chapter 1 . 12/9/2006
Jolee. It so happens that he's my favorite KotOR1 NPC and your writing for him was excellent. Of course, being a half-humorous fic, this couldn't have the deep complexity of your Past Experiences entry, so I'll refrain from making a comparison. And it also had a few typos of that kind spellcheck can't detect, but nothing major.
Anyway, the dialogues brought up moral issues, which just happen to be my favorite parts of any work of fiction. There's nothing like touching reality's problems behind the mask of another world. The use of the rather circular technique with what Jolee and Lirik were discussing came in handy here, too, since it created some sort of gradation: non-serious, serious, non-serious. Once again, good job. ;)
| Spam Master 2007 chapter 1 . 11/27/2006
Your writing seems decently mediocre on an amateurish level (i.e. comparable to a young teen just starting out). You need a great deal of improvement, however, as your inexperience blatantly shows through on so many levels. Since I am fourteen, I know quite a bit more about writing than you, and it would behoove you to seek my advice. Please feel free to visit me in this forum because it is quite evident to me that you need someone with my level of expertise to help you:
w -fanfiction -net / ft / 603548 /23588 / 1/
(In case you are not intelligent enough to figure it out, you need to replace the dashes with dots and remove the spaces, or just visit use the “homepage” link on my profile page).
I do not even look at review replies, so please visit the forum at the above address to forward any of your comments to me.
| Fatemperor chapter 1 . 10/26/2006
That was very enjoyable. I envy your ability to be able to portray you characters with such clarity.
| Malak's Mistress chapter 1 . 10/24/2006
“Look," Lirik continued, "thanks to you insisting that we go on, I got searched by that guard thoroughly enough to wonder if he doesn’t at least owe me a dinner. So spill it.”
AHAHA! Brilliant! Loved the entire thing _
| Lossefalme chapter 1 . 10/21/2006
Hee hee. Amusing! I like this Lirik guy, I'll have to do some more reading on him! And I like your Jolee too. I like how you took the idea of the challenge and then made the characters actually talk about it while actually bringing their intangible baggage into play as well. And then, of course, them actually HAVING HK as baggage was hilarious too. Another thing, I liked your use of vocabulary, even if you did use the word "groused" quite a bit, before this fic I hadn't heard seen that word around much. :)
Well done and good luck!
| VanillaLatte chapter 1 . 10/21/2006
AW! Tril, I loved it! I always loved those two together. . . a real familial relationship-you're right. :) And, of course, the banter is especially brilliant. I loved the crack about a hutt's girdle... *g* Well done.
So when are we gonna see the one about Mira and Lirik? ;)
| I am no longer available chapter 1 . 10/18/2006
You've got their back and forth down pat, and they work so well together too.
| Kendoka Girl chapter 1 . 10/18/2006
Wow, you really know how to make a short piece sing. There is depth of character, humor, and snappy dialog. I loved how you expanded on Lirik's character in a well done triad that has energy and zip.
Your writing is always of the highest caliber and a joy to read.
| Queenofinsanity chapter 1 . 10/17/2006
aw... how adorable!
I loves it!